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What is Stress?

Stress is your body’s way of responding to any demand or threat. When you sense danger—whether it’s real or imagined—the body’s defences kick into high gear in a rapid, automatic process known as the “fight-or-flight” reaction or the “stress response.”

I know it doesn’t feel like it, but the stress response is the body’s way of protecting you. When working correctly, it helps you stay focused, energetic, and alert. 

In addition, Stress gives you extra strength to defend yourself in emergencies. Healthy Stress can save your life, for example, urging you to slam on the brakes to avoid a car accident.

Recognizing Stress

We de-frag our computers because they get clogged up with too much information so they will perform efficiently. The same happens to our minds, and we get clogged up also. You are all over the place. When we struggle to make sense of a difficult situation, it doesn’t leave much headspace to deal with everything else that needs our attention. The Stress of a shock makes us illogical and emotional. 

When you are stressed, You might feel as if your brain has turned to mush, or you have ‘brain fog ‘. Life may feel unreal, as if you are disconnected and floating slightly outside of your body, watching yourself continue doing things. It’s a horrible feeling. 

You could suffer a bit of a temporary personality change due to severe Stress. For example, you might want to be alone and hide out at home if you are usually social. Or if you often take time out by yourself, you might find yourself going out every night, drinking when you usually don’t. Usually financially savvy, you may do unusual things like compulsive shopping.

When Stress merges into burnt-out, life seems pointless. 

When something happens that leaves you deeply upset, and life can temporarily lose its meaning. You can have negative thoughts like, ‘Why keep trying when everything is just going to go wrong?” You need to be aware of this effect as you can easily slip into depression. You may relate to some or all these symptoms -or none. In whichever way it affects you, severe Stress causes suffering.

Thank you for visiting me here; I hope this post was helpful. If it was then please like, subscribe, or leave a comment with any questions you may have!

 If you feel you would like further support, please contact me. Details of How to get in touch with me are found in my home page’s top menu.

Virtual hugs, I look forward to your visit to my next blog post!

Paula Rose Parish

How Mindfulness Works & the aims.

Mindfulness can be summed up in just One word- Intentionally.

This post concisely explains what mindfulness is, for more details

watch the video at bottom of this article

Mindfulness is defined as a kind of mental training, based upon the practice of deliberately bringing your attention to bear on your physical sensations, emotions, and thoughts. Mindfulness can also be explained as….

  • moment-to-moment awareness
    • savouring life itself
    • observing the moment
    • surrendering to the moment
    • Accepting the present moment
    • Focus
    • witnessing your thoughts and emotions
    • withdrawing attention from the past and the future to the now
    • cognitive therapy
    • a re-minding
    • bare attention
    • paying attention on purpose
    • the unfolding of an experience
    • intentional observance
    • attitude transformation

It is accepted among the ancients and modern researchers that there are Seven Goals of mindfulness practice.

  • Mindfulness is cultivated by assuming the stance of an impartial witness to one’s own experience. It is a sort of non-judgmental and open attitude to whatever experiences arises in oneself.
  • We cannot rush into the experience because mindfulness requires an attitude of patience and understanding that things will unfold in their own time.
  • No moment is the same as any other, each is unique and contains distinctive possibilities. In your moment-by-moment experience, you need to have a beginner’s mind with a sense of curiosity.
  • Developing a basic trust in yourself and feelings is an integral part of mindfulness. It is important to trust in your intuition even if you make some errors along the way. The goal of mindfulness is for you to become more fully yourself since it is impossible to become like somebody else.
  • The goal of mindfulness is to just BE. It is an attitude of non-striving. It is the ultimate of peace of mind.
  • Maintain an attitude of receptiveness to whatever you are sensing, feeling, or thinking. Accept all your experiences as they are at face value because it is present at this moment they are occurring.
  • Intentionally put aside the inclination to elevate some aspects of your experience and to reject others. Be non-judgmental of the experience, it is a way of letting go, of letting things be, and of accepting things as they are.

I hope this short article has been of help to you. Please my other blogs to learn how to get the full benefit from mindfulness. The nature of my work is to empower people with education and motivation, so they may live meaningful and happy lives. 

 NEW Course on Udemy Mindfulness Masterclass for Stress Relief – click on graphic

The Mindfulness Stress Relief Master Class is designed for newbies to Mindfulness or anyone interested in learning self-awareness and improving well-being and personal growth. It will teach you How Mindfulness is used when you are feeling stressed. This course is suitable if you want to learn how to relieve your stress in a simple, practical, and fun way.

Hello! my name is Paula Rose Parish MA. my main focus is teaching Mindfulness and also advocates Holistic Living for the well-being of Mind, Body and Spirit. I love the great outdoors, crafting, my dogs, and writing, and family.

If you feel stressed or are a hyper-focused, motivated achiever, then I know you can successfully apply yourself to create a better balance in your life with Mindfulness. At times, life sucks and isn’t fair or kind. However, there is hope on the horizon. Mindfulness is a beautiful tool to help you to succeed on your journey. However, to live mindfully, you must develop what I call- Well-Habits.

The key learning points include:

· Origins of Mindfulness and why it works as it does.

· Understanding what harmful stress is and how to self-regulate it to find relief.

· Learning the triggers to stress to be better able to respond to challenging situations rather than react.

· Recognising patterns of worrying or self-criticism that often generate more stress.

· Developing practical self-care tools to help you thrive, perform at your best, and build resilience.

Course Materials

· PDF will cover the theory of each session and provide details of the home practice.

· PowerPoint slides to guide you through the course.

· Video lectures

· End of module quizzes

Thank you for visiting me here; I hope this post was helpful. If it was, please subscribe, or leave a comment with any questions!

 If you feel you would like further support, please contact me. Details of How to get in touch with me are found in my home page’s top menu.

 HEAD OVER TO YOUTUBE AND CATCH UP WITH MY VIDEOS – it is Free! 

Virtual hugs, I look forward to your visit to my next blog post!

Paula Rose Parish

#103 How to Enjoy a Better Life: Pray and Plan Each Morning

The first thing I do when I get up I grab a coffee and meditate because it sets me up for the day, clearing the fog of sleep and unclutters my mind from any unwanted thoughts. Helps to prepare you to have the right mindset for the coming day. Meditation is a mindfulness practice in its many forms and is extremely good for one’s mental health.

You may be a person of faith or of no faith at all. I am a Christian, so I will share a little about Christian meditation which is a method of prayer. However, many forms of meditation have nothing to do with God that you may feel more comfortable with. You can research various forms for yourself. Other than that, why not challenge yourself and try out Christian meditation! 

Meditation has been a part of the Christian tradition since its origin. This form of prayer is to help us set our eyes on God in silence and grow closer to the Divine with gratitude and love. 

Start fresh in the morning, it is undoubtedly a worthwhile habit to create for your wellbeing not just for your Spirit, but for Mind and Body.

To start you off, meditate on this Psalm and own it and thank God for it….

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.           Psalm 19:14

In your morning meditation time, we learn to rely on God for the day. Setting time aside to be alone in meditation creates space and time to grow closer to God. Through this type of prayer, you discover who you really are, what God desires for you, and it is a wonderful opportunity for you to continually discover just how mysterious and incredible God is. 

Wellhabit 2.-Plan and set your priorities before starting the day.

When it comes to setting up your day for success, it’s essential to identify the things that may hold you back. Unfortunately, we often ignore the impact that our own mindset and the atmosphere surrounding us has. Once you acknowledge their power, you can do something about it.

When you have no plan to tackle the day, you let everyone else create a plan on your behalf. In other words- ‘run your day, or it will run you’.

So, when you realize what’s derailing or distracting you from getting on with your day, then you can ascertain what’s worth focusing on and what can be kept waiting or be eliminated. Then go ahead and distinguish between urgent and essential to-dos. The importance you place on your To-do should be a measure of the impact of your goal. 

Now that you have spent time in meditation prayer, sorted the distractions, and have a positive mindset for a successful day, you can set your daily goals. So now is the time to get your planner out and choose and plan your daily priorities.

If you want to make progress, you need a clear direction. When your goal is solid and clear to you, setting priorities becomes easy. You will know how to accomplish your overall mission and not get distracted or derailed by useless tasks, other people’s requests, and the feeling of being busy. Enjoy your day!

#98 Anger Management: 5 Tips to tell if your anger is hurting others.

The story is told that in the latter 1800’s, Alfred Lord Tennyson an English aristocrat, invited a Russian nobleman to his estate. And early one morning this nobleman took off with dogs & guns & servants to go hunting on Tennyson’s vast estate.

At mid-day he returned & Lord Tennyson asked him how he did. He answered, “Not very well. I shot two peasants.” Lord Tennyson thought for a moment & then said, “No, we pronounce it with a ‘ph’ here. It is ‘pheasants.’ You shot two pheasants.”

“No,” the nobleman replied, “I shot two peasants. They were insolent towards me, so I shot them”!

 Now we smile in disbelief at a story like that. But last May  a driver in Swansea South Wales UK, abused  another driver a woman in road rage. He was charged with verbal assault. When asked why he was angry and abusive, he said it was because she was black.

That happened in Swansea,  But stories like that have popped up all over the country. People becoming abusive due to their uncontrolled mindless anger.

 Now, of course, none of us  would do anything like that. But have you ever lost your temper? Do you ever do things you wish you hadn’t done, or say things you wish you had never said? I can certainly say YES to that!

Well, the Bible has something to say about overcoming anger. Proverbs 19:11 says, “A man’s wisdom gives him patience. It is to his glory to overlook an offense.”

If someone offends you, & if you are a person of wisdom (God’s wisdom) then you can easily overlook it, & not allow the situation to become a major event that overwhelms you, causing rage within you.

 I discovered that there are 4 types of anger dealt with in the Bible.

First of all, there is sudden anger. The Bible says that sudden anger is to be controlled.

Secondly, there is sinful anger. The Bible says that sinful anger is to be condemned.

Thirdly, there is stubborn anger. Stubborn anger is to be conquered.

Finally, there is sanctified anger. And sanctified anger is to be channeled.

 So let’s look at each of those 4 types of anger.

SUDDEN ANGER IS TO BE CONTROLLED

First of all there is sudden anger, & the Bible says that sudden anger is to be controlled.

Proverbs 14:17 says, “A quick-tempered man does foolish things.” We already knew that because we’ve experienced that in our own lives. We may blame our quick temper on our red hair. Or we may blame it on our heritage. After all, we’re Irish or something like that. We may even be proud of it.

But the bottom line is, if we have a short fuse, we’re going to do a lot of foolish things. When we lose our temper we’ll say things we know we shouldn’t have said, & do things that we’re going to be sorry for later on.

Next, Proverbs 15:18 says, “A hot tempered man stirs up dissension.” That simply means that if you have a short fuse, if you’re always losing your temper, if you’re walking around with a chip on your shoulder, if you’re just looking for somebody to say something that will irritate you, then you’re going to leave a trail of hurt feelings & unhappiness behind you.

Will Rogers was a famous American actor in the 1940s and a believer in Jesus Christ. Will said, “Whenever you fly into a rage, you seldom make a safe landing.” And he is right.

Chuck Swindoll an American author said, “I got so angry that I gave him a piece of my mind. And it was a piece that I couldn’t afford to lose.”

The writer of Proverbs said, “A hot temper stirs up dissension.”

Proverbs 18:13 says, “He who answers before listening – that is his folly & his shame.” He is talking about jumping to conclusions. We hear just a little bit of what is said, & we instantly jump to a conclusion, & oftentimes it is the wrong conclusion.

Have you heard about the dog named “August” who was always trying to chase a mule named “Conclusion?” One day he jumped at Conclusion & bit him, & Conclusion kicked back at August. And that was the last day of August. Think about that for a moment.

Sometimes we jump to conclusions, & King Solomon who is mentioned in the Holy Bible, says that jumping to conclusions before knowing the facts is to our folly & our shame.

Proverbs 19:19 says, “A hot-tempered man must pay the penalty.” We’re being told that almost every day. Doctors tell us that losing our temper consistently brings about high blood pressure, dryness of mouth, & a fast-beating heart. It could even bring pre-mature death.

A hot temper could also mean loss of family & friends. The penalties of losing our temper are many.

So the Bible says, “If you have a sudden temper, then you need to control it.” But how can we do that?

You say, ” I just can’t control my temper. It gets away from me.” But you absolutely can. Have you ever found yourself engaged in a heated discussion with your voice getting louder & your words becoming more rapid? Then the telephone rings & you say, “Hello.” very calmly ? If you have- then you can control your temper.

So we need to recognize that we have a problem with temper. As long as we deny it, as long as we blame it on our parents or short-fuse or whatever we choose to blame it on, we’ll never improve.

God is there to help us if we ask. Confess your problem to God & ask for His help.

Pray something like this “Lord, I’m beginning to lose my temper, & I’ve done it many times before. Please help me see what is causing it to happen, & then help me to overcome it.”

The Bible teaches that when the Holy Spirit guides our life, that one of the fruits of the spirit is self control. And if you have a sudden temper, you need to control it.

SINFUL ANGER IS TO BE CONDEMNED

The second type of anger discussed in scripture is sinful anger. Not all anger is sinful, & we’ll talk about that in just a minute. But some anger is. So let me give you a test to help you determine whether your anger is sinful or not.

A. In Matthew 5:21, Jesus says, “You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, `Do not murder, & anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment.”

Now that passage tells us some things about anger that should help us realize when our anger is sinful & when it is not.

Notice first of all that it says, “Anyone who is angry with his brother.” Now if you’re a brother or sister to someone it indicates that you are a member of the same family, whether a domestic family or the family of God.

If we’re brothers & sisters, we ought to be lifting each other up, supporting & helping each other. We should not spend our time being angry at one another. If we do, the Bible says its a sin.

The King James Version speaks about being angry at your brother “without a cause.” If we are angry & don’t have a legitimate reason for being angry, then this tells us that our anger is sinful.

Then if you’re angry at your brother, that indicates that you are focusing your anger toward that person, instead of trying to love them. We should never focus our anger on people, but rather on the sins they commit.

Jesus was never angry at people, but He was angry at their sins. He loved everybody that’s why he died for everybody. So look beyond the person. We must love the person, but hate their sin.

So if you’re angry , if you’re focusing on a person, then that means that your anger is sinful.

REVENGE

Now in Romans 12:19 Paul says, “Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: `It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.”

So the third test of our anger is this: Is it anger that seeks revenge? Are we always trying to get even? The Bible teaches that God is the one who has the right of vengeance. Not us. “Vengeance is mine,” says the Lord. We don’t have the right to repay anyone. But rather, turn that over to God.

So if our anger is geared towards seeking revenge, then it is very definitely sinful anger.

If it is vengeful, then most likely it is also an anger that is cherished.

Remember what Jesus said to the man who was by the pool, waiting to be healed, & he couldn’t get to the water soon enough? Jesus asked him, “Do you want to be healed?” Important question!

There are a lot of people who enjoy being sick because of the attention it gets them. And there are a lot of people who love being angry for the same reason. They’ve been angry for years. Inside of them there is a boiling mass of anger. They are used to it, they think its normal to feel like that.

So if anger is cherished, it most certainly is sinful anger.

If it is a cherished anger it will also be an anger with an unforgiving spirit. And the secret to getting rid of anger is to be able to forgive. But if you can’t forgive, if you can’t release it, then it is a sinful anger.

So here are the 5 tests to tell whether or not our anger is sinful anger.

1. Is it anger directed towards a person?

2. Is it anger without a justifiable cause?

3. Is it anger that seeks vengeance?

4. Is it anger that is cherished?

5. Is it anger that has an unforgiving spirit?

If any of the answers to those questions is “yes,” then our anger is a sinful anger. And the Bible says that it is to be condemned.

If it is sinful, then we need to repent, to turn away from it, & allow God to forgive us of it so that we can become forgiving people, too.

STUBBORN ANGER IS TO BE CONQUERED

The third type of anger is stubborn anger. It is an anger that just stays there, day after day after day.

One of the classic passages that deals with anger begins in Ephesians 4:26. The KJV says, “Be ye angry, & sin not. Let not the sun go down on your wrath.” And the next verse says, “And do not give the devil a foothold.”

One day you go home & you’re angry. You’re carrying a chip on your shoulder, just waiting for someone to knock it off. Then your loved one says something you don’t particularly appreciate, & soon heated words are being exchanged. It really doesn’t amount to much, but you’re determined to get your way, & she/he is determined to get their way. So the argument continues.

The sun goes down & nighttime comes. Then in bed she/he faces one way & you face the other way, & you both make very sure that you don’t touch each other.

Do you realize what has happened? The Bible says that you have opened the door, & said, “Mr. Devil, come right on in. We’ll make you welcome here.”

Then in vs. 31, Paul mentions what happens when Satan begins to do his dirty work.

The first result is “bitterness.” You begin to think about all the bad things people do & say to you, all the insults, all of the inconsiderate things that go on.

Then Paul says, “After bitterness comes rage & anger.” “Rage” is bitterness boiling & bubbling inside of you. And “anger” is rage being expressed. It is no longer just inside you. Now you begin to kick the cat, & hit the wall. Now you begin to say all kinds of things, until finally it becomes “brawling,” which means “shouting loudly,” & “slander” or “insults.”.

And the end result of it all, Paul says, is “malice.” And “malice” means that you really desire to harm. That’s why we’re always reading about someone shooting his wife & turning the gun on himself. Because the ultimate end of stubborn anger is malice.

Paul said, “Here is the way to get rid of stubborn anger. Don’t let the sun go down on your wrath.” Vs. 32 says, “Be kind & compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

So first of all, there is sudden anger. And it must be controlled.

Then there is sinful anger. And it must be condemned.

Then there is stubborn anger. And it must be conquered.

SANCTIFIED ANGER MUST BE CHANNELED IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION FOR GOD

Finally, there is Sanctified anger. And that must be channeled in the right direction for God. Remember, Ephesians 4:26 says, “Be ye angry. . .” It is okay to be angry, but do not sin.

Read Mark 3:1-5. This is a passage deals with a situation in the life of Jesus that I think is very revealing. It says:

“Another time he went into the synagogue, & a man with a shriveled hand was there. Some of them were looking for a reason to accuse Jesus, so they watched him closely to see if he would heal him on the Sabbath. And Jesus said to the man with the shriveled hand, `Stand up in front of everyone.’”

“Then Jesus asked them, `Which is lawful on the Sabbath: to do good or to do evil, to save life or to kill?’ But they remained silent.”

“He looked around at them in anger &, deeply distressed at their stubborn hearts. . .” You see, the focus of His anger is their hearts. He is angry because of their stubborn hearts & their stubborn anger. The sun has gone down. The sun has come up. And the devil has established a foothold in their lives. And Jesus is angry at their stubborn anger.

Then Jesus said, “Stretch out your hand.” And he stretched it out, & his hand was completely restored.”

The Bible says that Jesus was tempted in all points, even as we are tempted, but He never sinned. So this passage teaches that Jesus became angry but it wasn’t sinful anger. It was sanctified anger, channeled anger, anger that has the right focus, & the right object.

Maybe an infusion of sanctified anger is the very thing that the church needs. To become angry at the corruption of the world. To become angry at the forces of evil. To become angry at pornography that reaches into every segment of society to corrupts it- the list goes on.

To become angry at the millions of abortions. To become angry at the increase in crime & murders & rapes. To become angry at the abuse of alcohol & drugs in our society. To become angry because there are millions of people who are dying & going to Christless graves.

It is time for the church to become angry, with a sanctified anger, a holy anger, that is channeled in the right places, and anger that springs a person into action.

There are all kinds of anger. And if you are wrestling with bad anger, God promises to give you victory, if you’ll let Him.

So be angry, but don’t sin. Don’t let the sun go down upon your wrath. Don’t allow the devil to have a foothold in your life. But channel that anger so it can begin to accomplish victories for Jesus.

I offer His invitation He stands ready & willing to come into your heart & into your life. If you’ll confess your faith in Him, & repent of your sins, & be faithful to him in Christian baptism, learn of Him and from Him. He has promised to forgive your sins.

If you are already a believer in Jesus, then I invite you to join with us in the ministry that God has given us here. Please support and pray for this ministry that people all over the world will come to know that God loves them and the saving knowledge of Christ our Lord.

Thank you for visiting me here; I hope this post was helpful.

If it was, please follow this blog you’ll find a button on the lower bottom right, and leave a comment with any questions or prayer requests

Virtual hugs, I look forward to your visit to my next blog post!

Paula Rose Parish

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The Mindfulness Habit: How to start your day with calm, relaxation and joy.

In this post I want to share with you how I use mindfulness to help me through the overwhelm that each day can bring. This is not the whole story but a snippet from my new book about Holistic Living which features mindfulness which I am in process of writing. It will published and be available  to you later in the year – so keep a look out for that!

 Elisabeth S. Blanke (et al. 2017) points out that research shows that mindfulness indicates that different aspects of mindfulness deepen our understanding of its associations with well-being. There is no single definition of mindfulness to which scholars have agreed. Instead, several definitions exist that emphasize different aspects of mindfulness. However, generally, Mindfulness is referred to as being attentive to the present moment experience while taking a curious stance without judgment or reactivity.

For example, Elisabeth S. Blanke (2017) found that individuals with higher levels of non-judgmental acceptance had lower levels of depression, anxiety, and stress-related symptoms, whereas acting with awareness only showed lower levels of depressive symptoms. In other words, it’s not an Ooky Spooky thing for folk living on the fringe of society, but very much an intelligent and well researched science-based concept. It is certainly worth giving mindful a try for peace of mind and happiness. Jesus said, give no thought for tomorrow; maybe if he had lived today, he would have said ‘be mindful in what you do today.

Try this…

Start your day mindfully and begin as you swing your legs out of bed. Whether you are getting dressed, brushing your teeth, putting on your makeup, sipping your morning coffee or going for a morning walk or work out, try being mindful of your activity by staying in the present moment – being ONE with it. Allow your senses to guide you by tuning in to what you feel, see, hear, touch, and taste. If your mind drifts or jumps to something else, acknowledge the thought, then let it go. Return your focus. Remember you will never live this exact moment again, so savour it, appreciate it with purpose and intention.

If you’re interested to find out more, and need more detail to get you started, subscribe to this blog, and receive your FREE download How to Start Your Day with Mindful Daily Habits for peace, joy and calm.

If you have enjoyed this very short post- if you do please like , comment and subscribe to enjoy regular  updates.

Thank you for visiting me here, I hope this post was helpful? Then please like, subscribe or  leave a comment with any questions you may have!

 If feel you would like further support, please contact me. Details of How to get in touch with me is found in the top menu on my home page.

 HEAD OVER TO YOU TUBE AND CATCH UP WITH MY VIDEOS and I will see you in my next blog post!

Paula Rose Parish

CLICK https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvdQ4NPTNfXSnwd3pimPh0g

SOURCE NOTES :

Mindfulness in Daily Life: a Multidimensional Approach
Article in Mindfulness · June 2017
DOI: 10.1007/s12671-016-0651-4

How I use Colouring for the healing of worries, loss, and past hurts.

In my past posts, I have outlined many aspects of holistic living, and one of them is mindfulness. Our minds are influential indeed, that will lead to our success or failure; so I feel, its important to become more familiar with the concept of mindfulness. In this post I want to share with you how I use colouring to help me through the overwhelm that each day can bring. This is not the whole story but a snippet from my new book about Holistic Living which features mindfulness. I am in process of writing it and will published and made available  to you later in the year – so keep a look out for that!

At first glance, mindfulness can look like just another hobby that people have caught on, much like meditation, yoga, or pottery. However, I have found that is not the case. When I initially came into holistic living, I promised myself that I would practice it daily. In my next post, I share with you how to make mindfulness a well-habit, but for now, in this post, I want to chat about How I use Colouring for healing of worries, loss, and past hurts. However, This is a short post and not the whole story but a snippet from my new book about Holistic Living that I am writing and will be published and available to you later in the year. 

As time goes by, I am learning to develop the mindful habit of Colouring and incorporate this mindfulness practice into my life. My friends and family thought I had discovered a new hobby to pass the time. However, I didn’t really know how to answer them and then, after a lot of research and reflection, I now know how to explain it, and it goes something like this …….. Mindfulness is not a hobby but something far more meaningful – It is a daily practice and a way of life.

 Having said that, hobbies do, however, come into play here. Although mindfulness is not a hobby in itself, hobbies can develop mindfulness in your life.

Mindfulness is the practice of observing yourself, others, and the environment without judgment. Mindfulness teaches us how to value our time by turning any moment into a present moment. The result of mindfulness practice is thinking objectively while being totally focused and present in the current moment. Your mind becomes relaxed and yet very aware. Your thoughts are focused and become more precise. Your body is relaxed as it receives calmness, peace and bliss state from your mind. 

Colouring for Healing 

There is a saying that depression is about the past and anxiety is about the future. If you ruminate about the past, constantly re-living hurts and regrets, you will become depressed and stressed! If your mind constantly goes to the land of “what if? or If only!” churning the things that could go wrong around in your head and probably will go wrong, you will become anxious, and sadness can overtake you. However, If you can stay in the moment, neither drifting to the past nor skipping to the future, I find that this moment, this second, minute or hour is tolerable and perhaps even enjoyable.

If you just stop for a moment and ponder, How am I feeling at this exact moment?  Is this exact moment stressfulCould I tolerate this moment another second? If The answer is NO, then the practice of mindfulness will help you. 

Now, if it were possible to think about this moment and only this moment, with no whirling thoughts of the past, no fears for the future, wouldn’t that be a relief? Of course it would, and that’s where the practice of Colouring for mindfulness comes into its own.

Get Lost

Colouring helps us to to get lost in time as we focus on the minute details of attending to our Colouring. There’s no time to dwell on the past or worry about the future. All you have to think about is this exact moment. You are choosing your colours and deciding where to place apply them. When you are in the mindful state- or bliss state, your try not to venture beyond the guidelines of the drawing to keep things neat and beautiful. As you colour, you see before your eyes something the wonder and beauty of what you are creating, and in anticipation, the finished result joyfully awaits you.

You might have noticed that many varieties of adult colouring books have made their way onto the market. These colouring books aim to look for mental stimulation, meditation, and mindfulness. My favourite types are the ones with intricate, pretty patterns, as I find they help me be the most mindful. I eventually laminate them and make a divider for my planner. I have also have made planner covers from my colouring projects. One day I will have a go at turning my colour creations into a picture that I can frame, and I may do this soon. Your creations do not have to sit inside the colouring book, gathering dust. They can be used for you to admire and others to appreciate for years to come. They may also give you a sense of calmness as you look at them because it reminds you of the calmness and joy of creating it. I have found that the very act of Creating brings healing to my mind. The fact that I have to keep refocusing my mind and changing colours makes it easier to keep my mind on the present moment and deter it from veering off elsewhere.

If Colouring seems like something you want to try, set aside time to sit down in a quiet place and do some colouring. Just commit to 10 mins at first, then increase it in each session. Soon you will find the time goes far too quickly, and you want to stay on the page. It really does bring the mind into full engagement with the activity. Because your mind becomes calm and relaxed, your body will also be, allowing you to unwind and de-stress.

To help get your started with Colouring for the healing of worries, loss, and past hurts. I am offering a FREE Book Mark for you to colour. Send me your email and I will send you Your Book Mark on PDF.

When your receive my email, simply Down load the PDF file then Just copy and paste and print our onto card. If you print it on regular paper when you have finished your colouring laminate it so its strong for use.

Thank you for visiting me here, I hope this post was helpful. Did you enjoy it? Then please like, subscribe or  leave a comment with any questions you may have! If feel you would like further support, please contact me.

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Paula Rose Parish

Traces of Grief

Do you see me_image

Traces of grief may always remain, it changed me,

                             the real victory is not in the deleting the effects,

                                                but in the triumphing over them.            Paula Rose-Parish

When we plan to take a journey of some kind, we take time to prepare. We are savvy travellers, so we ensure that we have our navigation tools in hand, ensuring that they work as they should. We then become familiar with them before we get on the road. The visit to the fuel station guarantees that we will complete our journey. If we don’t, there is a good chance of getting lost, taking a detour, or not getting to our intended destination at all. Now we have a goal, we have a plan, we are ready to begin our journey. Approach this chapter in this same way. Use it as a preparation for your journey through this book. It will get you started on the path to recovery. I write in a particular way, and in this chapter, I reveal why. The usage of the Psalm and my specific application of words are explained. When we are bereaved, we can get exhausted. Therefore, I want this journey through grief to be straightforward as it possibly can be for you.

I am a child of the 50s and have seen a lot of life. I’ve lived and worked in four countries and visited a whole lot of others. The journey through life, from the very beginning to end, make us who we are. I must have been about ten years old when my very favourite saying became ‘Good Grief Charlie Brown!’ I would say it all the time, and it became somewhat of a trademark for me, it was my catchphrase. I didn’t know that I had dyslexia (not diagnosed until in my late 40s). Dyslexia was unknown within the educational system at the time. Therefore, there was no provision for remedial teaching. Without the support I needed, I hadn’t read a book in full until I was well into my 20s. Reading exhausted me, so I gave up in the first few pages, unable to comprehend the storyline, context or the words. Thinking back, I seriously tried my hardest at school, but not everyone saw it that way. I could read a little bit, but not enough to keep up with my grades. My teachers reported to my parents that I was lazy, which would add to my overwhelming sense of failure. Tearfully I shouted, ‘I am trying, I just can’t read, I just can’t’, and they would fire back at me ‘there’s no such word as can’t’ and told me to try harder. I was doing so badly that I had to repeat grade two twice! Then I failed in every year of primary school as well. I didn’t have the grades I need to attend high school, but because I was older than my peers; I was ‘put up’ to secondary school – as they called it. To be expected, I was put in the lowest set. Having an awful time, I only lasted there for six months; leaving in favour of the workplace at the age of fifteen years old. Try as I might, I just didn’t get hold of what was going on in the classroom. I couldn’t follow the thread of ideas, and the bullies duly took advantage of my weakness.

On several occasions, a group of boys and girls were waiting for me at the school gate and chased me all the way home after roughing me up. Growing up in the Australian school system in the 1950s and 60s wasn’t easy. We had to be tough enough to defend ourselves when needed. And it would always help of course if you were a fast runner, and I was. My inferiority heightened when my classmates and family devoured books like they were going out of fashion. They would tell me how easy it was to read, so why couldn’t I? Feeling very alone and misunderstood, I began to withdraw into myself. No way would I visit the school library except for a compulsory session in class. I didn’t understand why I had to attend the library when I couldn’t read properly. The whole system confused me. I quickly became overwhelmed by the hundreds of books housed on myriads of intimidating shelves.

Then one day, while trying to avoid the bullies, and I found myself wandering into the school library, and it was there that I discovered a small book. It was brief enough that I managed to read it almost to the end. I loved that little book, with its cute cartoons on every page which portrayed the adventures of Charlie Brown. I liked Charlie, he was an unusual little boy, and I found that I could relate to him, bless him. In Charlie, there was a small reflection of myself. Like me, Charlie was of short stature, inconspicuous, ordinary, and unremarkable. And like me, he was misunderstood. Charlie had a habit of making silly mistakes, he would say stupid things and did things out of the ordinary, and that is when his friends would exclaim, Good Grief Charlie Brown! I definitely could relate to him.

I suffered my first real experience of grief when I split from my fiancé of three years. I was still saying ‘good grief’ as my catchphrasebut now I knew that grief had nothing GOOD about it. In the end, my favourite little motto became a thing of the past -sorry Charlie! Whether it’s death, divorce a job loss or anything else that causes us to grieve, all are difficult to cope with. Whatever the circumstances, grief forces us to say goodbye to someone or something we hold dear. Grieving is such a personal and individual thing; we all experience it in our own way. I remember the sorrow I felt when I left my home country of Australia, creating a new home overseas. The anguish of saying goodbye to family. My obligations in ministry took me around the world, so I repeatedly had to leave dear friends behind, and sadness became a familiar figure. I was living 15,000 miles away from Australia, when my mother, who lived there died. I felt sad when I couldn’t be with her in her last days. The sorrow deepened when I couldn’t help my sisters to care for our aged Dad – there’s nothing good about grief.

You, Will, Have Troubles

  I share a little my own story throughout this book, so you know that you are not alone in this. I want you to see that there is someone who can empathise. My purpose is to help you understand your own Troubles and learn to manage them, so you can live a happy and fulfilling life. No real language exists, that clearly expresses the reality of the deep pain of grief. In 1976 I came to faith in Christ and began to attend church and was told by well-meaning people, that all my problems have ended.

I believed them. They assured me that I had found a trouble-free life! It wasn’t long before I found out that this idea was terribly dishonest. When the problems began, I was convinced that something was wrong with me. This wasn’t supposed to happen! Discouraged and very confused, I believed that I must have done something wrong, it was my fault somehow. I already had low self-esteem, and this only compounded my sense of helplessness and hopelessness. My God encounter was genuine. I hung on tightly to that experience as the turmoil swirled around me. I began to research God’s word for myself and found the truth of the matter. What I was told was a lie, things do go wrong for people of faith. Bad things happen to good people. And that is OK, that’s life! Every human being on the planet lives through sorrow in different ways and measures, and always will. You can imagine my relief to find this was nothing unusual and that there was nothing wrong with me after all. Many teachings in the Scriptures point out that we will have troubles in this life, especially if we follow Christ closely as His disciples.  Don’t be surprised by what you are experiencing, God is with you. The real problem arises when we don’t know what to do with our troubles. We wonder how on earth will we get through this! And how do we survive this phase of mourning, and not allow it to immobilise us in some way? How can we make sense of what is happening?

 In God’s Name

To be able to embrace God as a friend as we journey through the valley of the shadow, we need to identify who God actually is. One of the ways we do this is by looking into His Name. This is because God’s Name reveals His character, intention, and fundamental nature. When we name our children, we give them a first and surname, and sometimes more. And we often don’t consider what the meaning of it may be. However, this rule does not apply to God. Meanings of names are particularly important. The babies of the bible were named according to the particular meaning of that name.  Some people may not realise it but, there is no first name or surname that is applied to the Creator of the Universe. God is not a John or an Eric or even a Fred, for example. But what we believe are names for God are actually descriptions of Gods nature, character, and actions. For instance, Jehovah-Raah, which means The Lord, my Shepherd. A shepherd is a role description, not a name of a person. Jehovah is not a name either. Translated as The Existing One or Lord. So again, it describes who God is. Also, it suggests becoming or specifically to become known. This implies that God always discloses who He is. A shepherd is the one who feeds or leads his flock to pasture (Ezekiel 34:11-15). An extended translation is a friend or companion. This indicates the intimacy that God desires between Himself and His people and can be understood as The Lord, my Friend. Untangling the Name like this reveals to us that God is our friend, guide, companion and is the ever-existing One. The One who loves and cares for His sheep. The Lord, my Shepherd.and we see who God is in the Good Shepherd who is Jesus Christ.

💗xx

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