4 Simple Steps to the best way to make a decision you won’t Regret.

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions, WATCH THIS VIDEO!

Sometimes making decisions is hard, especially when some doubts or fears make you reconsider your position, and so you hesitate and wonder if you should give up or keep going. This indecisiveness can be a torment if we allow it to be. Trying to make a choice that feels unclear is really difficult to do. Choosing to move on from something, to take a new job, to begin or end a relationship – you know the big decisions – can sometimes be so all-consuming, confusing, and fearful that we end up making none at all, and just settle for the status quo.
So, how can we teach ourselves to make our decisions with confidence? The best way through is to try to be objective.

Ask Yourself Questions

To be objective, ask yourself a question as if someone else is asking you. Try to remove yourself from any apparent emotion that may influence you and ask..

.a. how do I choose the right thing?

b. How do I know that I am not making a mistake?

In this blog, I am here to share with you that Mindfulness can help you in this regard.’ Along with prayer, I have found Mindfulness to be a powerful tool that enables your mind to focus your attention to get the answers you need. It can become more than a practice, but a lifestyle that helps you be aware at all times. Mindfulness teaches you to pay attention to what’s happening right now. It also answers how and why enabling you to focus on the decisions you need to make.

If you want more details about Mindfulness and how to implement it into your life, search my blog post because I have many articles that will help you with that. T

To make the right choice, you need to understand each part of the step-by-step process that goes into making informed decisions.

Here are Four Simple Steps to help you Prayerfully make informed decisions

  1. Identify the problem
  2. Gather the information to define the decision to be made
  3. Make a choice
  4. Learn from feedback

1. Identify the Problem.

For effective decision-making, you need to accurately identify the problem to be solved. This might sound straightforward, but it’s impossible to begin working on a plan of action when you don’t fully comprehend the question you are trying to answer. Mindfully (stay in the moment) and reflect upon the problem, develop questions accordingly, and then write them down. Look at them and allow them to soak into you. Ensure that these are the right question to ask. Wrong decisions are repeatedly made when the question is incorrectly identified, so make sure you precisely and accurately spot the decision that must be made. When you are satisfied, move to the next step.


2. Gather the information to define the decision to be made.

Now, Take your notebook or computer and write down the information you gather. This is part of the mindfulness process. Mindfulness is kind to your brain and your brain cannot remember all that you need to. So use your notebook so you can refer to it later. Also, by writing it down it can be shared with others. Decision-making requires a good understanding of the current state of the problem to be solved to understand all implications of the potential choices you have. For this reason, it can be valuable to consider the views of all parties involved because they will be affected by the decision. These may include family, customers, employees, or suppliers. Gather accurate information on how the current problem is affecting people now.


Be sure to identify existing conditions that may be connected to the decision in question. As much information as possible should be gathered to build your confidence that a decision has been accurately and appropriately made before additional evaluation and alternatives begin. It is rare for there to be only a decision that is conclusive and there’s no alternative; Once a decision has been defined, the next step is to identify the alternatives to select from. Try to identify as many different alternatives as possible without making too narrow a distinction between them, and narrow the list based on evaluation, resource limitations, or time constraints or any other revenant factor. You may decide to do nothing, which is an alternative worthy of reflection.


3. Make a choice

To make the right choice Meditation or if you prefer to call it- prayer and reflection is a mindful process. Prayer and reflection together give you time and space just for you to clear your head of any bias and look at the facts objectively. There is nothing worse than an emotional decision- I know I have a lot of them behind me!


But when you sit down and close your eyes to meditate or reflect, you are pressing pause for a few minutes. This is a moment of quiet and peace that can help to put all the heaviness and confusion surrounding a big decision into a balanced perspective. This mindful process helps you to connect with what is right for you. There is an inner voice we all hear – our intuition. We often make decisions with our emotions which can be all over the place. If you’re confused, unsure, or overwhelmed by a decision, concentrate on listening to yourself and the voice of others.


4. Learn from feedback

Feedback isn’t simply about someone telling you what you did right or wrong – it’s a process in which you reflect on your decision and take action to correct it or improve future decision-making. Feedback is quick and easy if you ask yourself these questions….

  1. what is the outcomes of the decision?
  2. what I need to improve, or adapt and
  3. Could I have dome thing differently – If so, How?

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Is God calling you? 10 tips to find if you’re called by God

At the time of writing, today is a special day for me. I’ve only seen my family twice in two years due to the COVID 19 lockdowns. So today I’m travelling to see them again overnight. Sadly, I can’t stay any more than one night because I have to get back to work on Sunday – such is the life of the church minister. People don’t often realise that the minister can’t just take a Sunday off at random but has to work sometimes a year or more ahead. Ministry is no ordinary God, and it comes with requirements to make sacrifices.

Visiting my family was only arranged by them a month ago, so I didn’t have time to rearrange for anyone else to take my Sunday service. However, that’s how things go sometimes. My preaching engagements for 2022 are about 80% booked already. Most preachers have to work this way, and it is unfortunate because when family or friends, occasions happen impromptu, mainly if it falls on a Sunday, and cannot be part of it. I’ve been preaching since 1980, so this is the lifestyle I have adopted because I have answered God’s call upon my life. Unfortunately, sometimes family or friends don’t understand, they think that you can have a day off whenever you wish – sadly, this is not the case. However, I have far more flexibility because most of my work is now working from home. I am grateful for this and hope to maintain flexibility in my schedule in future years, except, of course, I’m unable to do that for a Sunday mainly.

When we answer God’s call upon our life, we need to count the cost. So if you are reading this and you believe you have a God’s call upon your life, and you are standing at the precipice of decision-making to answer that call or go into another direction, I hope that this article will be helpful to you.

How to Count the Cost.

Below are just a couple of short tips to help you ascertain if you want to answer God’s call upon your life or not, and I’m not going to explain each point; however, I may do this in a future article.

 The Bible says if a person builds a tower they must count the cost first. So Jesus, while addressing the rich young ruler, was asking him to count the cost, and we know the rest of that story!

Luke 14 : 28“Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it? 29For if you lay the foundation and are not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule you, 30saying, ‘This person began to build and wasn’t able to finish.’

These tips will help you work out if you are called by God or not

1. Be sure that others confirm the call upon your life who are in church authority.

2. Spend a significant time in prayer and fasting if necessary to ensure that you have the mind of Christ in your situation.

3. Research the area of ministry that you wish to enter thoroughly. Understand fully what the expectations upon your life might be.

4. Draw yourself a timeline. When do you think that this call upon your life might begin? Does this fit into the commitments that you have for the next 12 months?

5. What financial implications will there be if you answer this call upon your life? Grab a people piece of paper and write them down so you can see them, pray over them, and reflect upon them.

6. What financial sacrifices are you willing to make and that of your family if you answer the call.

7. Are you and your family willing to move if the call upon your life requires?

8. Are you willing to move away from your extended family and friends if York also requires?

9. Are you willing to put in abeyance old ideas and take on new ways of being and living so you may be effective in your call?

10. How many years are you willing to attend a Bible college or university to be equipped for your call? And what sacrifices are you and your family willing to make so you are quick and embark upon the required training?.

Any way the tips will help you get started upon your quest to evaluate the cost that you will be making. These are just ten short questions, but I’m sure you will come up with more. I am sure you will be making a sacrifice, in fact, many sacrifices, and this is why many people do not last in ministry. People fail to count the cost to them and them and their families.

When I was in ministry in the USA, I met up with quite a well-known woman minister, and had coffee together. In our conversation, she said,

“I often wondered why people romanticise ministry because it is far from romantic it is full of sacrifices, heartbreak, disappointment, and just darn hard work”. She continued, “Of course, there are rewards when you can see the fruits of your labour; however, it’s not often that you see that fruit because many people that you help that I help move on. Unfortunately, I don’t get the opportunity to journey with them throughout their lives. Still, it is a comfort to me that I will know how my ministry has affected others in the halls of eternity”.

If one is entering ministry to be liked, to receive accolades of thanks and welcome, you may be far disappointed. Jesus said to carry your cross, and indeed if you are called to the ministry, you will be bearing that cross.

Matthew 16 New Living Translation
Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross, and follow me.

Jesus also pointed out, that you will be a sheep among wolves, is your call strong sure for that, is your charter strong enough to endure that –  are your shoulders broad enough for that?

Thank you for visiting me here; I hope this post was helpful.

If it was, please follow this blog you’ll find a button on the lower bottom right and leave a comment with any questions or prayer requests.

 I blog three twice a week, so you won’t have to wait long- so keep an eye out for it. Please press that FOLLOW button on the lower right or you’ll also find it in the BLOG section found on the menu. This will ensure you’ll get all my latest articles in your in box. Remember to Live Life on Purpose.

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The Power of an Empty Tomb: God of surprises.

Although we are in the fall, I thought I would share an Easter story. With all the leaves falling and the days are drawing in, we need a bit of good cheer!

The God of the Bible is always active, always making new, consistently doing a new thing. It is one of the ways God is different from idols, those things we make who do not move, speak, or do anything at all. By contrast, the God whose story is told in the Bible is continuously creating and recreating. It is why God is surprising, the God of surprises.

Of course, not everyone likes surprises. However, a quiet, dependable sure and steady life is what many desire, particularly after the drama of COVID 19. In enjoying quiet, dependable sure and steady life, we feel secure; at least we know where we are. Anyway, even those who profess to like surprises must acknowledge that not all surprises in life are pleasant and welcome, and some surprises come as a shock!

So, recalling that part of John’s Gospel 20.1-18 (please read), we might imagine how it was for Mary Magdalene. She was deeply in love with Jesus. He was the one who had given her back her life, love, and dignity. Yet, she comes on the Sunday after Sabbath to his tomb in the grief that goes with profound bereavement. The one she loved is dead and buried. That is a hard enough reality to bear. But how will she live without him?

(Dear friend, if you are struggling with grief, please check out my book ‘Nothing Good About Grief’ available at Amazon).

Getting back to Mary, who finds her way to the tomb. She expects to find everything as she left it days ago; after all, there are no surprises in death. It is all so predictable and final, except that she finds the tombstone is rolled away. This must have been for her an upsetting experience, a cruel and wounding surprise. She may have been wondering- ‘Can Jesus not be left in peace after all that has been done to him?’ She feels a knife being turned in her wounded heart.

She goes to find Peter. Her first word of witness on Easter Day is of sorrow and anger, and she cries, “They have moved his body! They have taken away the Lord! “It’s scandalous. She speaks in sorrow and burning anger. Her message is bad news indeed.

On hearing this news, Peter and John race to the tomb, with thoughts confused, they may question- “Can this indignity be true? ” When they reach the tomb, they find that Mary’s testimony, unfortunately, is the truth. The grave is empty. Strangely the grave clothes are in their place. Are they not needed anymore? Someone must have moved the body. It is the obvious but bitter explanation.

The Gospel writer says that John is outrun by Peter, nevertheless, goes into the tomb first. Then, says the evangelist, he saw and believed. Believed what? We are not told. However, the evangelist does tell us that they did not understand the scripture that he must rise from the dead. This possibility is not available to them, and all they have is an empty tomb, and there may be many reasons for that; grave robbers, a meddling gardener, who knows? So, they go home.

 So far this story, is not much of a good news story- where are the angels and the great hallelujahs? It’s what we latter-day readers expect, but to this point, the text is bleak like it was for Mary and for many in the face of death. What a disappointment this story of Jesus has turned out to be! We are left with emptiness in several senses. But, like the disciples, we are left with a puzzle. 

 So, Mary is weeping and looks deeper into the tomb. John says she saw two angels in white. They ask her why she is weeping. She tells them, “they have taken away my Lord, and I do not know where they have laid him. ” That is reason enough for tears. She turns away to hide her grief, but she is aware of another standing near in this morning of surprises. It must be the gardener. He asks, “why are you weeping? Who are you looking for?”

 Perhaps this man has the answer to her cruel puzzle. She replies, “Tell me where you have laid him.” And the man says, “Mary.” this is when she realises that it is the Lord! The calling of her name is the start of Mary’s resurrection because Jesus is not dead and gone. The tomb is empty, and Jesus has come to her in his risen love and grace. Now she has a different testimony. I have seen the Lord in her experience and announcement to the disciples.

This is how John tells the Easter Day story. No one expected this, despite what the ancient scriptures said of God. Easter is a surprise. It is the good news we proclaim today. Both the approaches in John’s witness are essential. Does the empty tomb story matter? Yes, because we are not talking about something in a private otherworldly sphere of inwardness.

 The empty tomb matters because it speaks of the new creation, of that work God is doing with the matter he first created, how he is doing a new thing. Christians proclaim that the tomb is empty, and the new resurrection body is recreated by God. Death is not the end, not even for this vulnerable creation that waits for renewal.

Although scientists today speak of many dimensions, life on other planets and parallel universes. We can hardly imagine what this means, and the Gospel proclaims that here is the work of God, taking our failure, taking the love of Jesus, and from it, bringing forth something new and wonderful. It is a miracle, a work of God. 

Some of our teachers speak of a miracle as an overflowing love at the heart of creation. The love that was in Jesus, even unto death, is met by the endless love of God for his creation and, in the dynamic, new, and beautiful things happen. Death is not the end.

As we have seen, however, the empty tomb is not necessarily good news. It needs setting in a context. That context is God’s work from the beginning, in the creation and the call of Israel, in the coming of Christ and his remarkable life of suffering love, breaking the cycle of sin and violence in his sacrificial death on the cross. It is over this Christ that God speaks the great “Yes” of resurrection. He is let loose again in the world, and Mary and countless others will speak of being restored, healed, renewed by his presence.

God raised Jesus from the dead. For Mary, this means her grief is turned to joy as he calls her name. For Thomas, it means his doubt is turned to faith as he meets the risen Lord in the company of the disciples. For Peter, who denied the Lord, resurrection means being welcomed again by Christ and entrusted with new and vital work. John wants us to understand that resurrection is not just something that happened to Jesus. It is God’s work for us.

It means that each act of worship, each gathering at the Lord’s Table, is an encounter with Christ Jesus. It means that far from life being full of boring predictability, there are the surprises of God who raised Jesus from the dead and is ever seeking to make all things new. It means that our death, even the decay of our planet, is not the end, and the tomb of Jesus is empty because God is at work. So, Christ comes to us with grace, forgiveness, love and laughter. The Lord has risen! He is risen indeed!

Thank you for visiting me here; I hope this post was helpful.

If it was, please follow this blog you’ll find a button on the lower bottom right and leave a comment with any questions or prayer requests. Also head over to my other blog www.moonrosemindfulnes.com for lifestyle tips and details of my Mindfulness Master Class Course.  

I blog twice a week, so you won’t have to wait long- so keep an eye out for it. Please press that FOLLOW button on the lower right or you’ll also find it in the BLOG section found on the menu. This will ensure you’ll get all my latest articles in your in box.

Remember to Live Life on Purpose

Virtual hugs, I look forward to your visit to my next blog postxx

 Paula Rose Parish💕

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How to Reduce Your Stress

One of the blights of humanity is frustration. We get frustrated when we don’t get what we want or what we think we deserve. It seems that we’re a living contradiction. We really are our own worst enemy, working at cross purposes against our own best interest. We want meaning, purpose, and peace of mind, but we aren’t ready to strive or sacrifice for it. Why? Because human beings are forever seeking that kind of thing through enjoyment, which is temporal by nature. 

 Pleasure is a good thing, and we need to have some fun; however, it’s not the be-all, end-all that we imagine it to be, and we become disappointed with our life and can’t put our finger on why. Maybe it’s about expectations, and when those expectations are not met, we become very disappointed. For example, when we are having fun, and the pleasure we feel comes to an end, we want to chase after it, trying to create familiar feelings of joy. Sometimes we try to recreate experiences at a considerable cost to ourselves; we try to convert pleasure into something permanent.

When life goes wrong, we try to fix it by increasing the feel-good factor and strive to make it stay with us, but we just can’t do it. When we are frustrated, we search for ways to make ourselves happy, and often unwisely so. No matter how hard we try, we cannot make what is temporary permanent, and we cannot make what is imagined real. We can’t get back our loved one who is gone, the job that fell through our fingers is in the past, or even the children who have become adults and now live their own lives many miles from us. Also, it’s worth noting here that the COVID-19 pandemic has taken its devastating toll, and we will never get back what we lost.  

Several hundred years ago, along with other religions, Christianity began engaging the West in Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction. Although it was not named as such, that is precisely what it is, the aim and objective and results being the same. Within the act mindfulness practice, if one removes the idea of God, it still works. However, I prefer to still relate to God as far as mindfulness goes because it enhances not only my mind and body but also my spiritual person.

The scientific evidence to date of the success of mindfulness to enhance human life is overwhelming, and for those interested in their wellness, we cannot ignore it. Various professional disciplines and social movements, such as medicine and health care, psychology and brain science, and education at all levels, the law, business, leadership, and much more, enhance their practice by inserting mindfulness.

 Today’s mainstream medicine is developing an ever-growing interest in mindfulness-based intervention, such as Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT). Mindfulness is something we can practice for peace of mind and a way of relieving a wide range of chronic medical conditions. It is much like snowmelt flowing inevitably downhill from a high mountain source, flowing around obstacles, finding many pathways under the gentle tug of gravity, and ultimately merging into major rivers systems. The gravitational pull is the promise of liberation from suffering and the potential safe harbour. As human beings prepare for the awakening and embodying of wellbeing, greater wisdom and wise action in the conduct of our individual lives so we may peacefully carry ourselves in the world as a species. In other words, mindfulness can become a normal and natural way to live your life, and the feeling of wellbeing is inevitable. Living a mindful life as Jesus Christ did would not end our frustrations but the beginning of successfully managing them. 

Jesus gave us the answer to our frustrations and said don’t chase after things that are here today and gone tomorrow, but rather, strive for eternal things. Eternal things are more satisfying, like top quality peace, joy, and love, that only God can supply. Mindfulness can help us to pursue eternal things naturally and consistently.

Trying to hold onto relationships or things that are gone will leave you frustrated and keep you grieving for as long as you hold onto them. All human relationships, albeit long term, are temporal and subject to the joys and pains of this life; our lives are so fragile and short. The only permanent relationship and forever is a relationship with God offers to us through Jesus Christ.  

The nature of my work is that I aim to empower others with education and motivation to help them make for themselves a purposeful and happy life. In addition, I enjoy helping others to set wellness goals and then provide resources, helping you determine which changes would make the most significant impact on your health.

Thank you for visiting me here; I hope this post was helpful. 

If it was, please follow this blog, you’ll find a button on the lower bottom right and leave a comment with any questions or prayer requests

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Remember to Live Life on Purpose

Virtual hugs, I look forward to your visit to my next blog post.

 Paula Rose Parish💗

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How to Count the Cost before entering the Ministry and avoid tears.

Today is a special day for me. I’ve only seen my family twice in two years due to the COVID lockdowns in 2020 & 2021. So today I’m travelling to see them and staying overnight. Sadly, I can’t stay any more than one night because I have to get back to work on a Sunday, such is the life of the church minister.

People don’t often realise that the minister just can’t take a Sunday off on the spur of the moment because we must often plan a year ahead and can’t have random time off. My preaching engagements for 2022 are about 80% booked already, and this is how most preachers have to work. It is unfortunate because I cannot be part of Sunday family events when they happen spontaneously. Because I have answered God’s call upon my life, this is the lifestyle I have adjusted to. Unfortunately, sometimes family or friends don’t really understand that the minister must plan way ahead and think you can just have a day off whenever you wish, sadly not the case. We ministers pay the price in answering God’s call upon our lives, so we need to count the cost before we enter the ministry.

How to Count the Cost.

When we answer God’s call upon our life, we need to carefully count the cost to our family as well. So, if you are reading this and you believe you have God’s call upon your life, you are standing at the precipice of decision-making to answer that call or go into another direction, so I hope that this article will be helpful to you.

Below are just a couple of tips to help you to ascertain if you really do want to answer God’s call upon your life or not. This is just a brief overdue, and I’m not going to explain each point; however, I may do this in a future article. The Bible says if a person builds a bridge, they must count the cost first. So, Jesus, while addressing the rich young ruler, was really asking him to count the cost, and we know the story the ruler did decide not to follow Jesus after all.

1. Be sure that the call upon your life is confirmed by others in church authority.

2. Spend a significant time in prayer and fasting if necessary to ensure that you have the mind of Christ in your situation.

3. Research the area of ministry that you wish to enter thoroughly. Understand fully what the expectations upon your life might be.

4. Draw yourself a timeline. When do you think that this call upon your life might begin? Does this fit into the commitments that you have for the next 12 months?

5. What financial implications will there be if you answer this call upon your life? Grab a people piece of paper and write them down so you can see them, pray over them, and reflect upon them.

6. What financial sacrifices are you willing to make and that of your family if you answer the call.

7. Are you and your family willing to move if the call upon your life requires?

8. Are you willing to move away from your extended family and friends if York also requires?

9. Are you willing to put in abeyance old ideas and take on new ways of being and living so you may be effective in your call?

10. How many years are you willing to attend a Bible college or university to be equipped for your call? And what sacrifices are you and your family willing to make so you are quick and embark upon the required training?

These are just 10 short questions, but I’m sure you will come up with more, and I hope that these will help you get started upon your quest to evaluate the cost to you. I am sure you will be making a sacrifice of some kind, and sadly, many people do not last long term in ministry because they have not previously counted the cost.

When I was in ministry in the USA, I have met quite a well-known woman minister, and we had coffee together. In our conversation, she said, “I often wondered why people romanticise ministry because it is far from romantic it is full of sacrifices, heartbreak, disappointment, and just darn hard work”. But, she continued on, “of course, there are rewards when you can see the fruits of your labour; however, it’s not often that you actually see that fruit because the people you help often move away, so, I don’t get the opportunity to journey with them throughout their lives. Still, it is a comfort to me that I will know how my ministry has affected others in the halls of eternity”.

You may be sorely disappointed if you are entering ministry to be liked or to receive accolades of thanks and welcome. Jesus said to carry your own cross, and indeed if you are called to the ministry, you will be bearing your cross. As Jesus pointed out, you will even be a sheep among wolves – are your shoulders broad enough for that?

Thank you for visiting me here; I hope this post was helpful. 

If it was, please follow this blog, you’ll find a button on the lower bottom right and leave a comment with any questions or prayer requests. Also, head over to my other blog www.moonrosemindfulnes.com for lifestyle tips and details of my Mindfulness Master Class Course. 

I blog three times a week, so you won’t have to wait long- so keep an eye out for it. Please press that FOLLOW button on the lower right, or you’ll also find it in the BLOG section found on the menu. This will ensure you’ll get all my latest articles in your inbox.

Remember to Live Life on Purpose

Virtual hugs, I look forward to your visit to my next blog post xx 

 Paula Rose Parish💗

BOOKS BY PAULA available at AMAZON in the UK, USA, Aust; 

📚Nothing Good about Grief: Path to recovery with Psalm 23 after COVID-19 & other losses. 

📚Psalm 23 Unwrapped: Hope in difficult times

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#103 How to Enjoy a Better Life: Pray and Plan Each Morning

The first thing I do when I get up I grab a coffee and meditate because it sets me up for the day, clearing the fog of sleep and unclutters my mind from any unwanted thoughts. Helps to prepare you to have the right mindset for the coming day. Meditation is a mindfulness practice in its many forms and is extremely good for one’s mental health.

You may be a person of faith or of no faith at all. I am a Christian, so I will share a little about Christian meditation which is a method of prayer. However, many forms of meditation have nothing to do with God that you may feel more comfortable with. You can research various forms for yourself. Other than that, why not challenge yourself and try out Christian meditation! 

Meditation has been a part of the Christian tradition since its origin. This form of prayer is to help us set our eyes on God in silence and grow closer to the Divine with gratitude and love. 

Start fresh in the morning, it is undoubtedly a worthwhile habit to create for your wellbeing not just for your Spirit, but for Mind and Body.

To start you off, meditate on this Psalm and own it and thank God for it….

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.           Psalm 19:14

In your morning meditation time, we learn to rely on God for the day. Setting time aside to be alone in meditation creates space and time to grow closer to God. Through this type of prayer, you discover who you really are, what God desires for you, and it is a wonderful opportunity for you to continually discover just how mysterious and incredible God is. 

Wellhabit 2.-Plan and set your priorities before starting the day.

When it comes to setting up your day for success, it’s essential to identify the things that may hold you back. Unfortunately, we often ignore the impact that our own mindset and the atmosphere surrounding us has. Once you acknowledge their power, you can do something about it.

When you have no plan to tackle the day, you let everyone else create a plan on your behalf. In other words- ‘run your day, or it will run you’.

So, when you realize what’s derailing or distracting you from getting on with your day, then you can ascertain what’s worth focusing on and what can be kept waiting or be eliminated. Then go ahead and distinguish between urgent and essential to-dos. The importance you place on your To-do should be a measure of the impact of your goal. 

Now that you have spent time in meditation prayer, sorted the distractions, and have a positive mindset for a successful day, you can set your daily goals. So now is the time to get your planner out and choose and plan your daily priorities.

If you want to make progress, you need a clear direction. When your goal is solid and clear to you, setting priorities becomes easy. You will know how to accomplish your overall mission and not get distracted or derailed by useless tasks, other people’s requests, and the feeling of being busy. Enjoy your day!

#100 How to “wait” on God, to “hope” in Him

  Lets Celebrate! this is my 100 Blog article ! I get feedback how much these articles are helpful to you which spurs my on to keep writing.

The Bible  readings below encourage us to keep trusting God even when we a tired and weary. These truths that should bolster our Faith. We are waiting in hope for God’s salvation from this pandemic. Are you lockdown weary? I certainly am!! Although it seems to be over by now, and no more lock downs are in the pipeline, its has left me feeling exhausted.

When we feel exhausted and just plain worn out feeling that we can’t go on we need reminders to wait on God, and to hope in Him. When we do, our strength is renewed. By our own resources, we will never achieve total satisfaction or serenity. Trusting in God produces confident expectations which gives us a meaningful life.

Isaiah closes this chapter with words of enormous meaning and encouragement which shows that he understands deep despair. Some were complaining about God; others had given up and were resigned to their fate. They were sitting–despondent and weeping–by the waters of Babylon. In their minds, God had ceased to care. God had not given up on them; they were not abandoned. To all who’ve lost hope, Isaiah cries out… “Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary.”…We do, and often. We may be on the verge of giving up- we cry, “I’m down and out!”.

That’s when we need a reminder to “wait” on God, to “hope” in Him. When we do, our strength will be renewed. By our own resources, we will never achieve satisfaction or serenity. Trust in God produces confident expectations and meaningful life. We need to recall God’s actions in the past so that we may trust His providence for the future.

Part of our problem is that we’re time-bound; God is not. He is “the everlasting God.” God belongs to eternity; He is outside of time, not limited by time, so He sees the beginning and the end. We can face tomorrow knowing that God’s already been there in our future- exciting!

God “gives strength to the weary.” We grow tired and discouraged, yet God provides all we need.

God “gives power to the weak.” The word “power” is related to the Hebrew word for “bone”. Our bones hold us together, and so the image is one of durability and stability. 

If we trust purely in ourselves, we will faint and fall…when we hope in the Lord, we find the strength to carry on. Trust enables us to “renew our strength”, verse 31. The word “renew” means “to exchange”, as in taking off old clothes and putting on new. “We exchange our weakness for God’s power”. God alone sees the big picture, and it takes Faith to trust that He has all things under control, and Faith assures us that God is up to something good!

A Psalm – 147:1-12, 21

Hallelujah! How good it is to sing praises to our God! *
how pleasant it is to honour him with praise!

The Lord rebuilds Jerusalem; he gathers the exiles of Israel. He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds. He counts the number of the stars and calls them all by their names. Great is our Lord and mighty in power; there is no limit to his wisdom. The Lord lifts up the lowly but casts the wicked to the ground. Sing to the Lord with thanksgiving; make music to our God upon the harp. He covers the heavens with clouds and prepares rain for the earth; He makes grass to grow upon the mountains and green plants to serve mankind.10 He provides food for flocks and herds and for the young ravens when they cry.11 He is not impressed by the might of a horse; he has no pleasure in the strength of a man.12 But the Lord has pleasure in those who fear him, in those who await his gracious favour. Hallelujah!

OT Reading – Isaiah 40:28-31 Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint and strengthens the powerless. Even youths will faint and be weary, and the young will fall exhausted; but those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.

The Epistle – 1 Corinthians 9:16-23If I proclaim the gospel, this gives me no ground for boasting, for an obligation is laid on me, and woe to me if I do not proclaim the gospel! For if I do this of my own will, I have a reward; but if not of my own will, I am entrusted with a commission. What then is my reward? Just this: that in my proclamation I may make the gospel free of charge, so as not to make full use of my rights in the gospel.

For though I am free with respect to all, I have made myself a slave to all, so that I might win more of them. To the Jews I became as a Jew, in order to win Jews. To those under the law I became as one under the law (though I myself am not under the law) so that I might win those under the law. To those outside the law I became as one outside the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law) so that I might win those outside the law. To the weak I became weak, so that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all people, that I might by all means save some. I do it all for the sake of the gospel, so that I may share in its blessings.

The Gospel Mark 1:29-39After Jesus and his disciples left the synagogue, they entered the house of Simon and Andrew, with James and John. Now Simon’s mother-in-law was in bed with a fever, and they told him about her at once. He came and took her by the hand and lifted her up. Then the fever left her, and she began to serve them. That evening, at sundown, they brought to him all who were sick or possessed with demons. And the whole city was gathered around the door. And he cured many who were sick with various diseases and cast out many demons; and he would not permit the demons to speak, because they knew him. In the morning, while it was still very dark, he got up and went out to a deserted place, and there he prayed. And Simon and his companions hunted for him. When they found him, they said to him, “Everyone is searching for you.” He answered, “Let us go on to the neighbouring towns, so that I may proclaim the message there also; for that is what I came out to do.” And he went throughout Galilee, proclaiming the message in their synagogues and casting out demons.

Until next time- Live Life on Purpose in Hope. Faith. Love,

My Blog posts are part of Paula Rose Parish Ministries for your encouragement.

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How to Pray: Five Simple Steps to Centering Prayer.

Letting go and trusting God is not always an easy thing to do. The practice of contemplation prayer moves us steadily forward.

Staying in a relationship within the God the Holy Trinity, Father, Son and Holy Spirit means finding constant pleasure in Gods divine company. We connect by simply chatting humbly and lovingly without limiting the conversation in any way. Contemplative Prayer is also about listening for the Holy Spirit’s voice. This is especially important in times of temptation, sorrow, and even in times of unfaithfulness and other sins.

Pondering upon and enjoying God’s presence is contemplation. The way of contemplation is nonverbal. Unspoken words and cries of the heart become thought forms manifesting themselves before the throne room of God.

Contemplation was shortened into a simple modern method in the 1970s by three Trappist monks, William Menninger, Basil Pennington, and Abbot Thomas Keating.

This method of prayer is traditionally called Centering Prayer, which denotes focus, to be present with, and to find balance. It consists of responding to the Holy Spirit (Spirit of Christ) by consenting to God’s presence and action within.

 Centering Prayer helps to quieten our sensory faculties to cooperate with the gift of God’s presence. This wonderfully supports us to move from more active modes like a verbal prayer, to focusing and resting in silence before God, even for a few moments is revitalising. This highlights of this kind of prayer is that its easy to foster a friendship with God.

Centering Prayer also fosters a deep discipline which serves the relationship to grow.

Centering Prayer It is Trinitarian in its source, Christ-focused, and pastoral in its effects, and brings and builds together different communities in unity and faith.

There’s so much to say on this vital subject. You have learnt a little about this method of contemplation called centering prayer and prepared yourself for it. Okay now is the time to have a go!

Five Simple Steps to Centering Prayer 

1) set a timer for 10 mins

2) choose a sacred word as the symbol of your intent to give permission to God’s presence and action within. This sacred word can be anything that calms you and helps you to be still. It can be or Jesus, mar-an-atha (come here Lord)

My Word is Yahweh meaning, I AM who I AM which describes who God is.

3) sitting comfortably and with eyes closed, settle briefly, and silently introduce the sacred Word as the symbol of your consent to God’s presence and action within.

4) when you become aware of thoughts, return ever-so-gently to your sacred word.

5) at the end of the prayer period, remain in silence with eyes closed for a couple of minutes.

Make this a habit at least once a day. Soon you will feel comfortable, then increase to twice a day. With regularity, this will help you journey through the valley of grief. Over time it becomes habitual. Keep in mind that it doesn’t take away suffering but rather, takes away the fear of suffering, relieves stress and brings you closer to Father God.

You don’t have to think about God to be in God’s presence. God will never leave or forsake you but is always with you till the end of the earth, (Hebrews 13:5).

Thank you for visiting me here; I hope this post was helpful. If it was, please follow this blog, or leave a comment with any questions!

 If you feel you would like further support, please contact me. Details of How to get in touch with me are found in my home page’s top menu.

Virtual hugs, I look forward to your visit to my next blog post!

Paula Rose Parish

NEW Course is going Live on Udemy . Beginners Mindfulness Masterclass for Stress Relief – click here for more details. www.moonrosemindfulness.com

OR GO TO – https://www.udemy.com/course/the-mindfulness-stress-relief-master-class/?referralCode=1FA203E550AC769AC33A

Have you been let down? How to overcome disappointment.

You may have noticed that I haven’t written for a very long time for those who follow my blog regularly. Nor have I produced a newsletter. The reason for this is I have had a bathroom refurbishment and experienced many a difficulty with dealing with a rogue builder. I’ve also had computer problems and had to purchase another; hopefully, this one will be more reliable. The rogue builder started the work in May, made a terrible mess, and scammed me out of money. Finally, I found a fantastic builder called Afan Property and they completed their work today. They rescued the situation, and they did a fantastic job! During the turmoil, I moved away from my usual writing schedule. Dealing with the rogue builder has been of great stress and disappointment to me, and this is the theme upon which I am writing today. 

DISAPOINTMENT

One of the most complex problems in life I have personally found hardest to bear is the feeling of disappointment. Disappointment comes where there is an expectation of something happening which does not occur. With disappointment comes a sick and dramatic feeling of sheer hopelessness, which manifests in the pit of one’s stomach.

Proverbs 13:12 ‘Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but it is a tree of life when the hope is fulfilled.’

 I have come through many a toil and storm as I know you have. I have shared some of my story with you here in my blog, so be sure to look back to earlier posts. I am sure we agree that facing the disappointments that life throws at us is undoubtedly one of the hardest things to make sense of and cope with. 

I am the type of person who wants to believe in and trust the word of others. So, when that person, for whatever reason, does not adhere to their word, in particular if its life changing, I become grossly disappointed. I feel sick to my stomach and leaves all my hopes dashed.

 In my 60+ years living on this earth, if I received £1 for every time I was let down, I would indeed be a wealthy woman! The feelings of disappointment have made me even more determined as a human being to ensure that I stick to my word. I do not want to be responsible for anyone else giving up hope. 

Are you dealing with disappointment? If you are, I know how you feel. The feeling of hopelessness is awful. I have pretty recently felt that way, and one should not live their life in a state of hopelessness, as some do. 

 I am diligent to the best of my ability, not hold a grudge, and I ensure that I forgive. However, being human, I have not always stuck to my word either; I try to bring hope for most of the time rather than dash it.

Unfortunately, I have found some people regularly make it a lifestyle of not sticking to their word, they promise you things, and for the most part, stick to it. But, then as they become more familiar with you, they become less and less reliable.

It may be a person close to you who has disappointed you. It may be somebody who works for you or a service someone has provided. Perhaps your boss promised you a raise or a promotion, which doesn’t come to fruition. A work colleague may have let you down. Maybe it’s someone you’re in a relationship with who has made false promises, leaving you feeling used. Whatever it may be, disappointment hold sway when somebody else does not fulfil their promise, dashing your hopes entirely, To be sure, disappointment can be pretty overwhelming at times.

This poses a question in my mind,  how can one be rid of the feeling of disappointment and move on?

THE REMEDY

First of all, you must not play the blame game.

When you focus on blame and criticism of the person who has let you down, it makes the matter a lot worse for you. It is an endless merry go round that you can’t get off, stirring your emotions afresh every time you bring it to remembrance. You must stop the blaming and actively seek justice through the right channels. Seeking true justice is not vengeance and will end the matter, whereas blaming and vengeance will keep it going for years. You need to heal yourself of the worry and disappointment, and you cannot do that if you have a bad attitude towards those who have disappointed you. Why?

This is because your emotions will reflect directly upon you and your future. In short- your attitudes eventually become you. What you focus on today will be your reality tomorrow. Therefore, no matter how awful the situation is for you today, don’t hang onto it; otherwise, resentment will build. Resentment will grow to a grudge and then hate, and then you will have a deeper problem on your hands in the future.

Do you think it’s worth hanging on to a grudge against the person who has disappointed you? Jesus tells us that it’s not- he clearly says that we must first forgive for us to be forgiven.

If we hold a grudge, how can we expect that no one in the world will hold a grudge against us? How can we expect others to be forgiving towards us if we hold something towards them? The law of sowing and reaping come into play here. 

Alternatively, if we refuse to hold a grudge, are quick to forgive and are quick to put it out of our minds, we can expect others to be the same towards us. And indeed, God will be the same towards us because this is what is promised to us in the Holy Bible

SCAMMED

I have been scammed, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. This so-called builder scammed me; however, I do not hold a grudge. On the contrary, I have forgiven and pray for him, although I am seeking justice and will move on, and learnt some valuable lessons along the way.

THE TAKEAWAY

If you can take anything from my experience, accept that there always will be evil people who will leave you disappointed.

Accept that they are people who will disappoint you unintentionally.

Accept that the disappointment will hurt you for a time, but there is healing.

Accept that if you do not forgive, you tie God’s hands to forgive you.

Accept that holding a grudge and even taking revenge is a no-win way to play it.

Accept that the blame game will leave you sour and even more disappointed.

These are just some of the things to consider. However, there is much more that can be said that this short blog post muster.

It is worth remembering that when you are grossly disappointed, give it to the Lord Jesus, ask him to give you the power and strength to bless and forgive.

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Thank you for visiting me here; I hope this post was helpful. If it was, please subscribe, or leave a comment with any questions!

 If you feel you would like further support, please contact me. Details of How to get in touch with me are found in my home page’s top menu.

Virtual hugs, I look forward to your visit to my next blog post!

Paula Rose Parish

NEW Course is going Live on Udemy . Beginners Mindfulness Masterclass for Stress Relief – click here for more details. www.moonrosemindfulness.com

OR GO TO – https://www.udemy.com/course/the-mindfulness-stress-relief-master-class/?referralCode=1FA203E550AC769AC33A

How to Take Action in 3 easy Steps: God won’t manage your life; that’s your job!

As a follower of Christ, we need to allow God to led us step by step. However, that does not mean that we don’t set goals or work on projects. One the contrary. God calls us to a vision and a mission to act upon. God places the acting upon our shoulders. It’s entirely up to you to put the call God placed upon your life into action.  Goals and project help to fulfil your objectives to implement Gods call on your life.

Step 1

Identify your goals.

Step 2

Sort the goals into projects.

Step 3

Break down the project into small tasks.

THE TAKEAWAY

Eugene K. Choi is a activation coach who helps individuals discover real breakthroughs in their lives. On his blog his Shares his personal faith struggles and  points out that God is able to work with whatever choices you make -good or bad. God is not there to give you step by step instructions on every decision you make. His will for your life isn’t about what you do but more about who you are becoming. If you become who God wants you to be, your choices will reflect your character. 

Over the years, I have found it imperative to write down all my ideas. I sort them into goals and develop projects. From the project, I break it down into tasks so I can bring the project to life. I use many different tools for this, like the Kanban board system. This helps me to manage what I believe God is telling me to do. God won’t manage your life; that’s your job! God put Adam and Eve on this earth to care for it and subdue it, in other words, to manage it. God has given your life to care for and to be the manager of it. God is the leader and your cheerleader, but it is YOU who puts it all into practice.

START WITH PRAYER

It’s not too late to set your goals and projects and set out your tasks. Where to start? I encourage you to start with prayer and, if necessary, fasting. Talk to God as with a friend. Ground-breaking prayers are often the simplest and most sincere cries of Your heart. Be diligent and set time aside; it might be half a day, one day, several days or a whole week. Whatever is suitable for you, make sure that you have a journal and write absolutely everything down those pops into your head. Jot it all down that is illuminated from Gods Word or that somebody says that resonates. If you write them down, you won’t forget them or misunderstand the concept, and you can see the pattern, the ebb a flow in them. We see God in the patterns and the movements of creation, and we can perceive God’s will in the movements and the patterns of our lives..

THE TAKEAWAY

Over the years, I have found it imperative to write all my ideas, thoughts, and God words to me down. I sort then into goals and develop projects from them. From the project, I break it down into tasks so I can bring the project to life. I use many different tools for this, like the Kanban board system. This helps me to manage what I believe God is telling me to do. God won’t manage your life; that’s your job! God put Adam and Eve on this earth to care for it and subdue it, in other words, to manage it. God has given your life to care for and to be the manager of it. God is the leader and your cheerleader, but it is YOU who puts it all into practice.

Thank you for visiting me here; I hope this post was helpful. If it was, please subscribe, or leave a comment with any questions!

 If you feel you would like further support, please contact me. Details of How to get in touch with me are found in my home page’s top menu.

Virtual hugs, I look forward to your visit to my next blog post!

Paula Rose Parish

20 Tips on How to Eat Mindfully to Stop Over Eating to Improve Health -PART ONE.

As you know, I am a big fan of Mindfulness. The reason why is that the consistent practice of Mindfulness brings to our Mind, Body & Spirit peace, health and wellbeing.

When we eat, Mindfulness comes into play because when you enjoy your food and are at peace when you eat, it aids your digestion and assimilation of your food, therefore crucial to your overall health. Mindfulness is also a great practice to stop you from overeating. This works when you get into the habit of the sensations in your mouth, throat and stomach, and notice when you feel full.

In this post, I will give you 20 Tips on how to eat Mindfully. If you are following me, you will know that this is not the whole story, of course, but a snippet from my new book about Holistic Living, which features Mindfulness and issues around mental health, that I am in the process of writing. It will be published and made available to you later in the year – so keep a lookout for that!

This article is a snippet from my new book about Holistic Living, which features Mindfulness and issues around mental health. It will be published and made available to you later in the year (2021) – so keep a lookout for that! Also, If you struggle to make self-care a priority or do not know how to start your holistic mindfulness journey, check out my course, which will be available in the Summer of 2021- subscribe free to this blog to get updates on this! I am launching another website soon dedicated to Holistic Mindfulness, so keep a lookout for that going live! Please follow me here, or subscribe to my newsletter to get your updates on this. 

WELL-HABITS

If you are busy like me, you may tend to eat on the go. We grab a bite or two wherever we can. Without thinking about it, we eat in our cars, at our desks, walking up the street or in front of the telly, and before you know it, we have polished off far more than we should have! We lament at our growing waistline or that sickly feeling that comes with overeating. 

 This approach to our meals may become a habit but is not an ideal approach to eating and may cause digestive problems. To eat mindfully, we need to develop god Well- Habits as I call them. When we develop the habit of eating mindfully, it will just come naturally without any deliberate effort. The well- habit of tuning in to all the sensations while eating will make it a more meaningful experience and be healthier for you in the long run.

Develop the habit to become aware of your bodily sensations when you are hungry and the right time to stop feeling that hunger. It’s a habit to be developed for you to become aware when you feel satisfied and had enough to eat. Practice the following TIPS in a location where you can be at peace.

TIPS

  1.  Find a quiet space and make it enjoyable. 
  2. Put your food on excellent dishes.
  3.  Use good cutlery you enjoy using.
  4.  Sit down in front of your food and take several deep breaths. 
  5. Notice the colour.
  6. Notice the shape of the food.
  7. Notice the texture – is it appealing to you? 
  8. Ask yourself, how does it smell? 
  9. Notice how the food makes you feel (excited, reminiscent, happy or anxious -other). 
  10. Notice these things as you begin eating. 
  11. Slow down, Don’t rush to eat- take it slow.
  12. Move your hand slowly toward the cutlery, being mindful of tips 1-8. 
  13. Begin to eat Mindfully.
  14. Watch your hand move the utensil toward your mouth, becoming aware of the smell and notice if you start to salivate. 
  15. Notice how your body reacts to the food near your mouth, and notice your teeth chewing the food. 
  16. Ask yourself, how is the food positioned in my mouth? Begin chewing slowly. What are the sensations in your mouth, on your tongue? 
  17. Notice what tastes you are experiencing -such as salty, sour, and sweet? 
  18.  When you swallow, become aware of the movement of your throat, and try to become aware of the food entering your stomach. 
  19. Ask yourself, can I feel it in my stomach? Is it empty, complete, or somewhere in between? 
  20. Notice when your stomach begins to feel full.

Continue to eat the meal this way, noticing as many sensations as you can.

 In a few days, my next blog post will continue How to Eat Mindfully to Stop Over Eating- to Improve health, so keep a lookout for that!

Thank you for your time. I hope this post was helpful. If it was, I would love to hear from you. Feel free to contact me and share any thoughts you may have.

If you feel you would like further support through prayer, counselling or coaching, or speaking, please contact me. Details of How to get in touch with me are found in my home page’s top menu.

HEAD OVER TO YOUTUBE AND CATCH UP WITH MY VIDEOS for Great Tips on Holistic living – it is Free! 

See You Again Soon!

 Paula Rose Parish

How I started Journaling Mindfully and the struggles I encountered -Part two

This blog post is part two about How I started Journaling Mindfully and the struggles I encountered. I hope my story helped you, is so, let me know in the comments

In my past posts, I mentioned many benefits of Living Mindfully. Here are a few extra thoughts on the benefits of reflective Journaling.

· It enables you to become more focused on the life you are creating.

· You better remember and appreciate your experiences so you can share them with others.

· Can Enhance your creativity.

· Will give you Clarity of self and your goals in life.

· Help you to better understand and deal with problems rather than ignoring them or reacting badly to them.

By reflecting on your feelings and behaviour, you can learn who you are and where you fit into the world. You can build upon your strengths and strengthen your weaknesses. A consistent practice of reflection results in a greater understanding of who you are and how you interact with the world. Developing the habit of reflective Journaling will allow you to make more meaningful decisions that result in a more meaningful, fulfilling life.

Mindful Journaling is a practice that focuses your attention and awareness. It is about your self-awareness that emerges through paying attention on purpose to your thoughts while you are writing them down.

—SO, If you’re ready- let’s get started!

STEP ONE

·       Put aside some time. 

·       Grab something to drink. 

·       Choose your notebook. 

·       Find a nice pen. 

·       Settle in a quiet spot.

· Decide on what topic will you focus. Is it about Gratitude, experience from the past, or something else? 

  STEP TWO

· Be in the present moment; as you scribe each word, do not judge them. Just allow your thoughts and pen to flow as your experience unfolds moment by moment.

· Breathe! Avoid becoming anxious by breathing rhythmically and slowly. 

· If you become anxious or panicky – take 3 deep breaths in and out of your nose- then the 4th one in your nose and out your mouth (blowhard).

Finding it Difficult to get Started? TRY THIS….

· Reflect on a recent experience- don’t judge it as good or bad. Accept it as JUST IS. 

· Observe the experience realistically, reflect on the experience, then write it down.

· Get lost in thought, look within yourself – how do you feel deep down about the experience? -write it down.

 Ask Yourself…

· What feelings and emotions does the experience bring up? Write them down

· What can you learn about the experience-write it down?

· What lessons can you learn from the experience-write them down?

· Why did you make a particular decision?

· Was the experience a positive or a negative?

· What could you have done differently?

· What would you do the same?

· What did you think of your reactions during the experience?

· What did you think of your reactions after the experience was over and the emotions had subsided?

Well dear reader, I hope this helps you to get going on your reflective journaling journey.

As always -Thank you for visiting me here, I hope this post was helpful? Then please like, subscribe or  leave a comment with any questions you may have!

 If feel you would like further support, please contact me. Details of How to get in touch with me is found in the top menu on my home page.

There is so much more I an share with you because this is not the whole story but a snippet from my new book about Holistic Living, which features Mindfulness and issues around mental health. I am in the process of writing it. It will be published and made available to you later in the year – so keep a lookout for that! If you struggle to make self-care a priority or do not know how to start your mindfulness journey, check out my course, which will be available in the Summer of 2021- subscribe free to this blog to get updates! Regardless of where you are on your journey, I hope you hove found something useful here- if so, please let me know.

 HEAD OVER TO YOU TUBE AND CATCH UP WITH MY VIDEOS – its Free!

I look forward your visit to my next blog post!

Paula Rose Parish

How to Handle Being Misunderstood and the hurt incurred.

When you put yourself out there on the world wide web, there is an inescapable chance that misunderstanding and judgment will occur. Within relationships misunderstanding happens very easily, pulling families apart. The work place is a hot bed for misunderstandings to occur, its the job of management to resolve staff conflict.

Holistic living

In his blog, Ryan Frederick points out that when misunderstood, you must Find your identity & security only in Christ. The following is a quote from his blog to help you get started with this idea…….

……………” Christ understands you. He sees you from afar (Psalm 138:6), he designed and crafted you from within (Psalm 139:13-14), and he knows what it’s like to be human and to be tested (Hebrews 4:15). I hope this doesn’t roll off your back as a cliche. You are KNOWN. This is the first point because the rest will flow from this. If you know who you are in Christ, you can proceed with that knowledge and his perspective in mind. For example, maybe “being right” isn’t important at this moment. Maybe you just need to extend grace because your spouse hurting or not in a place to be corrected.” From <https://fiercemarriage.com/4-things-consider-next-time-feel-misunderstood

Although Ryan refers his idea to marriage, it is also relevant across the broad spectrum of relationships, and we can learn from this. As you know, I hold to the fact that holistic living is the way to bring wholeness to your everyday life. To make Christ the centre of your life feeds and frees your spirit. Your mind is calmed and brought hope and peace, then your body responds positivity. 

There have been times that I have shrunk away from God, sort of blaming him when in times of turmoil. Until a wake-up call thought entered my head! And it went something like this….

 ……….you are rejecting me when things go wrong. This shows you are laying the blame squarely on me- isn’t that what others have done to you? So, why play the blame game- it gets you nowhere and will estrange you from me….

 Well, I have to say that it certainly was woke me up! I realised I was feeling sorry for myself and had to snap out of it. 

So, What did I do next?

Forgiving (the holistic spirit)

 I knelt in prayer asking God in Christ to forgive me for withdrawing from his presence. I asked for forgiveness for any part that I played in the problem. I asked for wisdom (which I need tons of!) to work through the situation with grace and love and kindness. I asked the person for forgiveness and offered to talk it through, they refused to accept it and wanted to keep the drama playing. I was powerless to change that, so I prayed again- this time it was a blessing on those who misunderstood me, thus rejecting me. I asked God for the strength to let go and let God have his way.

I know I have written extensively about forgiveness in the past, but I think we all need a reminder to ensure that we do apply forgiveness. It’s far too easy to be so emotionally involved in our hurt feelings, that our hard heart will not reach out to forgive. Forgiveness applies to everybody. Forgive yourself. Forgive others.

Pay it no mind (the holistic mind)

In 1 Corinthians 13, the “love chapter,” we have a list of love’s attributes. Included in the description of love, however there are some things that love is not. Verse 5 says that ‘love keeps no record of wrongs.’ Or, as the Amplified Bible translates it, “It takes no account of the evil done to it, in other words – it pays no attention to a suffered wrong.”

The bottom line is that If you say you forgive, but keep the offence at the forefront, throwing back details into the person’s face, keeping the drama going– let’s get real here- You have not forgiven! True forgiveness pays no mind, it keeps no record of wrongs. 

Stop digging holes (the holistic body)

This is what I am guilty of and the situation is always made worse. I try to rescue the situation, and the more I try the deeper the darn hole gets! Soon I have dug so deep that I can’t see over the rim. I have buried myself in all the turmoil and hurt! look familiar?

 Well, I think if you are a rescuer or fixer, you can relate.

We must learn when it’s time to quit – then quit. This is the best thing to do or even the right thing. Surrender the situation to God. To leave the person who says you have offended them its best to leave them to their own emotions and choices. If  the other person is not happy with your explanation, it’s their problem not yours. You cannot satisfy someone who is adamant about having an argument. Do yourself a big favour and don’t engage in further discussion – stop digging!

It is time to stop digging and to cement that hole over and don’t go there again. It’s time, to take a breath of fresh air and start again. Accept when the situation cannot be rescued by you. If you wish to, leave the door open for the person who has misunderstood you. If they truly love you, they will want reconciliation as much as you.

Concentrate on those who truly care for you!

People get sacked from work due to misunderstandings and end up suing their employer for unfair dismissal. When misunderstandings cause family estrangement it is heart rendering indeed. Families who fall out forever is more common than you think. For many people, family is the centrepiece of their life. It’s where we gain a huge aspect of our identity, find comfort and support, unconditional acceptance, and a sense of belonging. Meghan Markle and Prince Harry have raised the issue of estrangement to a world wide level. On the internet their is a plethora of websites dedicated to helping parents of estranged from their children. One web site community group that I visited had over 40,000 membership! This shows how common this problem really is. For those who are estranged from their families, the family unit may become threatening as and not feel safe or nurturing. I have readers and followers from all over the world so I will outline some recent research from a few different countries.

Social worker and academic, Dr Kylie Agllias, has been researching family estrangements and how they impact us. Her research has revealed that about one in 25 Australian adults has been estranged from their family at some point in their lives. She says that family estrangements occur when there is a breakdown of trust, emotional intimacy and there are strong contrasting values. 

In the UK statics show that family estrangement has been defined as distancing and loss of affection that occurs over years or even decades within a family. It isn’t clear if such estrangement is on the rise since it is a relatively young field of research, but it is common. However, Research by Stand Alone, a UK charity that supports people who are estranged from relatives, suggests that estrangement affects at least one in five British families. Stand Alone founder Becca Bland, who has personal experience of estrangement as she has no contact with her parents, has also noticed that the topic is much more discussed than in the past. This is borne out by Google Trends data showing steady growth in people searching for estrangement-related terms, primarily in Canada, Australia and Singapore.

One United States of America study of more than 2,000 mother-child pairs found that 10% of mothers were currently estranged from at least one adult child. And one US study found that more than 40% of participants had experienced family estrangement at some point – suggesting that in certain groups, such as US college students, estrangement may be almost as common as divorce. Sound like an epidemic doesn’t it? 

I am sure the statics are similar across the world. It is a sad situation but one that is very real, and common. If you have been misunderstood and estranged from your family, be assured that you are not alone and there is a lot of help out there if you research and look for it. 

Those who truly love and care for you may not be your family. Friends are great because there is no history of offence with them. Unless you have grown up with them, you have a clean slate upon which to build a relationship. Appreciate them and keep in contact with those people. I have lots of lovely friends. I have found a unique relationship with each of my friends. With each one, we talk about different things and enjoy together various activities which are quite different from another. The friendship develops around the common ground which must be nurtured to grow.

Care for your Body

Being misunderstood causes your inner gut to twist and turn to make you feel sick. This is your body reacting to your emotional mind. You must care for your body. Don’t pummel it with alcohol or overload it with sugar, or late nights out. Nurture and care for your body with good food and passive exercise. Your body is the house your live in. In a time of turmoil, we forget about our bodily needs. 

When upset, I tend to stop eating and work from Dawn to Dusk. However, I am learning to do things differently. I look at my body like I look upon my two dogs. They are helpless without me. Whether I feel like it or not I must feed them, walk them, and stroke and groom them. I must provide a safe and enjoyable environment for them. Do the same for your body. 

Whether you feel like it or not, provide a safe and enjoyable environment for yourself. Feed your body well with natural foods, exercise it, groom it, care for it whether you feel like it or not – this is the only one you have! Your emotions can make you sick if you do not righty care for your body. I use many tools to help me with this and in posts to come, I will share them with you. 

 But in the meantime, you will find about how to care for your body mindfully, which is laid out in my new course and will be made available to you in summer 2021. If you want some ideas and tools to how to self-care, making it a priority or do not know how to start your holistic journey, check out the course, – subscribe free to this blog to get updates on this!

Thank you for visiting me here, I hope this post was helpful, I would love to hear from you. Feel free to contact me and share any thoughts you have. And if you enjoy reading this blog, please support it by subscribing or sharing, bookmarking and visiting the site.

 If feel you would like further support through counselling or coaching, please contact me. Details of How to get in touch with me is found in the top menu on my home page.

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Virtual hugs, I look forward to your visit to my next blog post!

Paula Rose Parish

The Mindfulness Habit: How to start your day with calm, relaxation and joy.

In this post I want to share with you how I use mindfulness to help me through the overwhelm that each day can bring. This is not the whole story but a snippet from my new book about Holistic Living which features mindfulness which I am in process of writing. It will published and be available  to you later in the year – so keep a look out for that!

 Elisabeth S. Blanke (et al. 2017) points out that research shows that mindfulness indicates that different aspects of mindfulness deepen our understanding of its associations with well-being. There is no single definition of mindfulness to which scholars have agreed. Instead, several definitions exist that emphasize different aspects of mindfulness. However, generally, Mindfulness is referred to as being attentive to the present moment experience while taking a curious stance without judgment or reactivity.

For example, Elisabeth S. Blanke (2017) found that individuals with higher levels of non-judgmental acceptance had lower levels of depression, anxiety, and stress-related symptoms, whereas acting with awareness only showed lower levels of depressive symptoms. In other words, it’s not an Ooky Spooky thing for folk living on the fringe of society, but very much an intelligent and well researched science-based concept. It is certainly worth giving mindful a try for peace of mind and happiness. Jesus said, give no thought for tomorrow; maybe if he had lived today, he would have said ‘be mindful in what you do today.

Try this…

Start your day mindfully and begin as you swing your legs out of bed. Whether you are getting dressed, brushing your teeth, putting on your makeup, sipping your morning coffee or going for a morning walk or work out, try being mindful of your activity by staying in the present moment – being ONE with it. Allow your senses to guide you by tuning in to what you feel, see, hear, touch, and taste. If your mind drifts or jumps to something else, acknowledge the thought, then let it go. Return your focus. Remember you will never live this exact moment again, so savour it, appreciate it with purpose and intention.

If you’re interested to find out more, and need more detail to get you started, subscribe to this blog, and receive your FREE download How to Start Your Day with Mindful Daily Habits for peace, joy and calm.

If you have enjoyed this very short post- if you do please like , comment and subscribe to enjoy regular  updates.

Thank you for visiting me here, I hope this post was helpful? Then please like, subscribe or  leave a comment with any questions you may have!

 If feel you would like further support, please contact me. Details of How to get in touch with me is found in the top menu on my home page.

 HEAD OVER TO YOU TUBE AND CATCH UP WITH MY VIDEOS and I will see you in my next blog post!

Paula Rose Parish

CLICK https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvdQ4NPTNfXSnwd3pimPh0g

SOURCE NOTES :

Mindfulness in Daily Life: a Multidimensional Approach
Article in Mindfulness · June 2017
DOI: 10.1007/s12671-016-0651-4

How I use Colouring for the healing of worries, loss, and past hurts.

In my past posts, I have outlined many aspects of holistic living, and one of them is mindfulness. Our minds are influential indeed, that will lead to our success or failure; so I feel, its important to become more familiar with the concept of mindfulness. In this post I want to share with you how I use colouring to help me through the overwhelm that each day can bring. This is not the whole story but a snippet from my new book about Holistic Living which features mindfulness. I am in process of writing it and will published and made available  to you later in the year – so keep a look out for that!

At first glance, mindfulness can look like just another hobby that people have caught on, much like meditation, yoga, or pottery. However, I have found that is not the case. When I initially came into holistic living, I promised myself that I would practice it daily. In my next post, I share with you how to make mindfulness a well-habit, but for now, in this post, I want to chat about How I use Colouring for healing of worries, loss, and past hurts. However, This is a short post and not the whole story but a snippet from my new book about Holistic Living that I am writing and will be published and available to you later in the year. 

As time goes by, I am learning to develop the mindful habit of Colouring and incorporate this mindfulness practice into my life. My friends and family thought I had discovered a new hobby to pass the time. However, I didn’t really know how to answer them and then, after a lot of research and reflection, I now know how to explain it, and it goes something like this …….. Mindfulness is not a hobby but something far more meaningful – It is a daily practice and a way of life.

 Having said that, hobbies do, however, come into play here. Although mindfulness is not a hobby in itself, hobbies can develop mindfulness in your life.

Mindfulness is the practice of observing yourself, others, and the environment without judgment. Mindfulness teaches us how to value our time by turning any moment into a present moment. The result of mindfulness practice is thinking objectively while being totally focused and present in the current moment. Your mind becomes relaxed and yet very aware. Your thoughts are focused and become more precise. Your body is relaxed as it receives calmness, peace and bliss state from your mind. 

Colouring for Healing 

There is a saying that depression is about the past and anxiety is about the future. If you ruminate about the past, constantly re-living hurts and regrets, you will become depressed and stressed! If your mind constantly goes to the land of “what if? or If only!” churning the things that could go wrong around in your head and probably will go wrong, you will become anxious, and sadness can overtake you. However, If you can stay in the moment, neither drifting to the past nor skipping to the future, I find that this moment, this second, minute or hour is tolerable and perhaps even enjoyable.

If you just stop for a moment and ponder, How am I feeling at this exact moment?  Is this exact moment stressfulCould I tolerate this moment another second? If The answer is NO, then the practice of mindfulness will help you. 

Now, if it were possible to think about this moment and only this moment, with no whirling thoughts of the past, no fears for the future, wouldn’t that be a relief? Of course it would, and that’s where the practice of Colouring for mindfulness comes into its own.

Get Lost

Colouring helps us to to get lost in time as we focus on the minute details of attending to our Colouring. There’s no time to dwell on the past or worry about the future. All you have to think about is this exact moment. You are choosing your colours and deciding where to place apply them. When you are in the mindful state- or bliss state, your try not to venture beyond the guidelines of the drawing to keep things neat and beautiful. As you colour, you see before your eyes something the wonder and beauty of what you are creating, and in anticipation, the finished result joyfully awaits you.

You might have noticed that many varieties of adult colouring books have made their way onto the market. These colouring books aim to look for mental stimulation, meditation, and mindfulness. My favourite types are the ones with intricate, pretty patterns, as I find they help me be the most mindful. I eventually laminate them and make a divider for my planner. I have also have made planner covers from my colouring projects. One day I will have a go at turning my colour creations into a picture that I can frame, and I may do this soon. Your creations do not have to sit inside the colouring book, gathering dust. They can be used for you to admire and others to appreciate for years to come. They may also give you a sense of calmness as you look at them because it reminds you of the calmness and joy of creating it. I have found that the very act of Creating brings healing to my mind. The fact that I have to keep refocusing my mind and changing colours makes it easier to keep my mind on the present moment and deter it from veering off elsewhere.

If Colouring seems like something you want to try, set aside time to sit down in a quiet place and do some colouring. Just commit to 10 mins at first, then increase it in each session. Soon you will find the time goes far too quickly, and you want to stay on the page. It really does bring the mind into full engagement with the activity. Because your mind becomes calm and relaxed, your body will also be, allowing you to unwind and de-stress.

To help get your started with Colouring for the healing of worries, loss, and past hurts. I am offering a FREE Book Mark for you to colour. Send me your email and I will send you Your Book Mark on PDF.

When your receive my email, simply Down load the PDF file then Just copy and paste and print our onto card. If you print it on regular paper when you have finished your colouring laminate it so its strong for use.

Thank you for visiting me here, I hope this post was helpful. Did you enjoy it? Then please like, subscribe or  leave a comment with any questions you may have! If feel you would like further support, please contact me.

Details of How to get in touch with me is found in the

top menu on my home page.

 HEAD OVER TO YOU TUBE AND CATCH UP WITH MY VIDEOS and I will see you in my next blog post!

Paula Rose Parish