When lies destroy your life. My ongoing human saga of unfilled Promises

If you have been following my blog regarding the building work on my house, this is a follow-up from that and the latest news!

The bad news since May 15, when I employed this builder to do my bathroom to refurbish and it is the 2nd of July, and it is only 30% done; therefore, I have no choice but to take him to the small Claims Court. This is a massive problem because of my background in living in abusive relationships since a child; therefore, I shy away from anything nonconfrontational, so, this is causing tremendous stress for me.

In my church leadership role, in coaching and counselling, I lead from a nurturing perspective. I am not cynical, and I take people at face value. Unfortunately, the scam artists can smell that yard away and take advantage of me, as has this worker who should have refurbished my bathroom within five days as agreed. I have paid £1400 worth of materials to date that I have not received and wondering why?

This worker ignores all my emails, text, and phone calls. Because he refused t answer my calls, I have resorted to using a friend’s phone to call him. He has avoided me at all costs, but now the time has come for reckoning. Therefore today, I have sent him an official letter that if he does not pay me back to £1400 that he owes me for services and material not received, I will take him to court.

I’m pensionable age, live alone, I believe he has taken advantage of that. But is also taken advantage of my good nature/naïveté. I have always wanted to think the best of people. I would never lie to anybody or deceive, certainly not scam them. Therefore, I have automatically the same point of view towards others, which has not served me well.

I am not a millionaire or a leader in business matters because I am too soft. I am a nurturer, a healer; however, does that mean that I should not develop enough thick skin to avoid been taken advantage of?

I really don’t know the answer to that. I am seriously out of pocket due to this circumstance, and you my dear readers, may be reading this, and have been taken advantage of as well.

You may have suffered financially, lost the love of family, lost your homes as I have, you lost  jobs as I have, lost identity as I have, etc- all because you believed the promises of someone you thought cared for you.  You may be trying to claw back everything that you have lost trusting God by the way the Holy Spirit to help you, as I am.

When I first became a Christian at the age of 20 years old, I was told that I would understand all things and have all the answers to my questions. I believed that. But 40 years on, I believe that was an untruth. How possibly can we know the mind of God? How can we understand his ways? In our struggles from day to day, we can try to be self-aware, which is why I practise and teach mindfulness and continual faith in God’s ability to see us through difficult times.

I don’t know what tomorrow holds, you don’t know what tomorrow holds, but God does. And trusting in God equals faith in God’s ability to see us through – And you know it, as I do, that’s all we have. I have no family around me. I have no personal friends who live close to me because I have moved away due to my job. My ministry is to give out continually to the bereaved to the suffering sharing hope and love to all who I can. I rely on God to fill me up to overflowing, and I believe with all my heart that that is possible because I have an experienced that, so I know it is possible!

Perhaps the suffering that I’m going through now is reaching you, is helping you. Perhaps this has caused me to move away from religious platitudes and from over-edited blogs to reach your heart, to reach your suffering because I am in that place. I have always been in that place but didn’t know how to communicate it.

I have another website called suffered financially, . Its new and not up and running yet. I have created it and set aside from Hope. Faith. Love. to reach people, all people who perhaps have no faith but desperately need hope and the grace of their lives to keep going.

Our fears and disappointments can be turned into hope and faith and love if we want them to. If we allow them to. If we ask God for them to.

I will keep you posted of the eventualities regarding with this ongoing human saga of this building work. I have also made a video story that I will be posting on my YouTube channel when all this is over.

I hope this will help you folk who hate nonconfrontational things as I do.

I hope it will help people who find themselves always relying on the promises of a man or on somebody else and then find themselves totally suddenly relying on themselves – you are not alone.

Perhaps you have been promised the world in the past like I have and  came up empty-handed.

However, I believe if we keep the faith, God can restore – and will restore. God keeps his promises.

We have our times when we cry and mourn, then we strengthen ourselves in the power of God’s might. We will get there, yes! We will get there!

Virtual hugs, I look forward to your visit to my next blog post!

Paula Rose Parish

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Mindfulness is NOT a religion – BUT is a skill that can be easily learned and practiced daily.

Our human existence does not allow us to live completely stress-free. Mindfulness will help you with the stresses of life and help you to find relief safely and naturally. Mindfulness is not a religious practice but a skill, that with enough practice can become second nature. In daily life, it can be as simple as noticing the shapes of the clouds or counting your breaths, learning to observe the thoughts that come into your mind and letting them go. This trains you to be present in the moment. recognise your thoughts but realise what is at hand. This can be done anywhere, at the beach, on the commute to work or even in the bathroom.

 To function independently in this life, you need to be well. Wellness is a big, important goal; however, it can feel overwhelming at times. 

 The busyness of life can make it hard for you to prioritise self-care. The more you think about what you “should” be doing differently, the more daunting wellness can seem. Holistic health is about taking responsibility for your own health. Mindfulness helps you to get there. 

If you are doing something destructive to your healthy- being, recognise it for what it is, and endeavour to replace it with healthier habits of mind, body, and spirit.

So, what is holistic health and wellbeing? It’s about honouring the mind-body connection and treating the whole person as the precious gift it is. 

Mindfulness and Holistic Living

The way you live significantly affects your mind and vice versa. So, to think about Mindfulness, one must also look at the way they are living. Mindfulness means being more intentional in your choices of good habits. As I have pointed out in my past blogs and books, there are also many additional physical and emotional benefits to a mindfulness lifestyle.

Mindfulness is so easy to implement. It is low cost, can be practised anywhere, and only requires your time and consistency.

Despite the ease of implementing Mindfulness, like any new habit, it can be overwhelming for beginners. Where should you start? Should you implement a daily meditation session, mindful eating, mindful exercise, or mindful walking? The answer is you should start small.

The Daily Mindfulness Habit

The detail of creating well-habits is dealt with in another lecture. However, Mindfulness is a beautiful way to conquer thoughts that produce stress, particularly in the first stages when you feel overwhelmed with the damaging assault of thoughts.

 Mindfulness enables you to become self-aware, and that awareness is the underlying truth about yourself and who you are. Jesus says- you shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free. The truth only sets you free if you are willing to accept it and do something with it, and only then it leads to your freedom. Becoming self-aware through daily mindfulness practices leads you to freedom little bit by little bit. Your mind will be set free, thus your lives free to be what we are meant to be and what we are supposed to do in this life.

Mindful means being more intentional in your day-to-day choices, benefitting your physical and emotional wellbeing.

Scientific Research shows that the Mindfulness habit has shown to: 

· Reduce rumination and overthinking. 

· Decrease stress by lowering levels of the stress hormone cortisol. 

· Improve memory, concentration, and performance. 

· Help maintains emotional stability. Improve relationship happiness. 

· Reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression. Improve sleep.

· protect against mental illness. Provide pain relief. 

· With the repetition of mindfulness activities, you will create fundamental brain function and structure changes. 

· Just as exercise habits will change your body, mindfulness habits will reshape your mind. 

If you are interested to learn how to care for yourself mindfully, purchase my new course at a special discount launch price in Late July 2021 on Udemy. 

If you want some ideas and tools to how to get relief from stress or do not know how to start your holistic journey, check out the course – subscribe free to this blog to get updates on this!

I am a Professionally trained with a Master of Arts in Counselling in Professional Development and Coaching, With over 40 years of experience, I will support you to maximize your full potential. You will identify your goals and receive balanced teaching, great tips, guidance and encouragement, throughout your journey to becoming a better version of yourself. Let’s Talk – contact me, and see what the next step is right for you! 

If you have found this article helpful, please visit my website- address below, SUBSCIBE, Comment, Follow and Share. If you feel you would like further support, please contact me. 

My Blog posts are for your encouragement.

Thank you for reading this newsletter, and I see you in my next time!

Paula Rose Parish

20 Tips on How to Eat Mindfully to Stop Over Eating to Improve Health -PART ONE.

As you know, I am a big fan of Mindfulness. The reason why is that the consistent practice of Mindfulness brings to our Mind, Body & Spirit peace, health and wellbeing.

When we eat, Mindfulness comes into play because when you enjoy your food and are at peace when you eat, it aids your digestion and assimilation of your food, therefore crucial to your overall health. Mindfulness is also a great practice to stop you from overeating. This works when you get into the habit of the sensations in your mouth, throat and stomach, and notice when you feel full.

In this post, I will give you 20 Tips on how to eat Mindfully. If you are following me, you will know that this is not the whole story, of course, but a snippet from my new book about Holistic Living, which features Mindfulness and issues around mental health, that I am in the process of writing. It will be published and made available to you later in the year – so keep a lookout for that!

This article is a snippet from my new book about Holistic Living, which features Mindfulness and issues around mental health. It will be published and made available to you later in the year (2021) – so keep a lookout for that! Also, If you struggle to make self-care a priority or do not know how to start your holistic mindfulness journey, check out my course, which will be available in the Summer of 2021- subscribe free to this blog to get updates on this! I am launching another website soon dedicated to Holistic Mindfulness, so keep a lookout for that going live! Please follow me here, or subscribe to my newsletter to get your updates on this. 

WELL-HABITS

If you are busy like me, you may tend to eat on the go. We grab a bite or two wherever we can. Without thinking about it, we eat in our cars, at our desks, walking up the street or in front of the telly, and before you know it, we have polished off far more than we should have! We lament at our growing waistline or that sickly feeling that comes with overeating. 

 This approach to our meals may become a habit but is not an ideal approach to eating and may cause digestive problems. To eat mindfully, we need to develop god Well- Habits as I call them. When we develop the habit of eating mindfully, it will just come naturally without any deliberate effort. The well- habit of tuning in to all the sensations while eating will make it a more meaningful experience and be healthier for you in the long run.

Develop the habit to become aware of your bodily sensations when you are hungry and the right time to stop feeling that hunger. It’s a habit to be developed for you to become aware when you feel satisfied and had enough to eat. Practice the following TIPS in a location where you can be at peace.

TIPS

  1.  Find a quiet space and make it enjoyable. 
  2. Put your food on excellent dishes.
  3.  Use good cutlery you enjoy using.
  4.  Sit down in front of your food and take several deep breaths. 
  5. Notice the colour.
  6. Notice the shape of the food.
  7. Notice the texture – is it appealing to you? 
  8. Ask yourself, how does it smell? 
  9. Notice how the food makes you feel (excited, reminiscent, happy or anxious -other). 
  10. Notice these things as you begin eating. 
  11. Slow down, Don’t rush to eat- take it slow.
  12. Move your hand slowly toward the cutlery, being mindful of tips 1-8. 
  13. Begin to eat Mindfully.
  14. Watch your hand move the utensil toward your mouth, becoming aware of the smell and notice if you start to salivate. 
  15. Notice how your body reacts to the food near your mouth, and notice your teeth chewing the food. 
  16. Ask yourself, how is the food positioned in my mouth? Begin chewing slowly. What are the sensations in your mouth, on your tongue? 
  17. Notice what tastes you are experiencing -such as salty, sour, and sweet? 
  18.  When you swallow, become aware of the movement of your throat, and try to become aware of the food entering your stomach. 
  19. Ask yourself, can I feel it in my stomach? Is it empty, complete, or somewhere in between? 
  20. Notice when your stomach begins to feel full.

Continue to eat the meal this way, noticing as many sensations as you can.

 In a few days, my next blog post will continue How to Eat Mindfully to Stop Over Eating- to Improve health, so keep a lookout for that!

Thank you for your time. I hope this post was helpful. If it was, I would love to hear from you. Feel free to contact me and share any thoughts you may have.

If you feel you would like further support through prayer, counselling or coaching, or speaking, please contact me. Details of How to get in touch with me are found in my home page’s top menu.

HEAD OVER TO YOUTUBE AND CATCH UP WITH MY VIDEOS for Great Tips on Holistic living – it is Free! 

See You Again Soon!

 Paula Rose Parish

How I started Journaling Mindfully and the struggles I encountered -Part two

This blog post is part two about How I started Journaling Mindfully and the struggles I encountered. I hope my story helped you, is so, let me know in the comments

In my past posts, I mentioned many benefits of Living Mindfully. Here are a few extra thoughts on the benefits of reflective Journaling.

· It enables you to become more focused on the life you are creating.

· You better remember and appreciate your experiences so you can share them with others.

· Can Enhance your creativity.

· Will give you Clarity of self and your goals in life.

· Help you to better understand and deal with problems rather than ignoring them or reacting badly to them.

By reflecting on your feelings and behaviour, you can learn who you are and where you fit into the world. You can build upon your strengths and strengthen your weaknesses. A consistent practice of reflection results in a greater understanding of who you are and how you interact with the world. Developing the habit of reflective Journaling will allow you to make more meaningful decisions that result in a more meaningful, fulfilling life.

Mindful Journaling is a practice that focuses your attention and awareness. It is about your self-awareness that emerges through paying attention on purpose to your thoughts while you are writing them down.

—SO, If you’re ready- let’s get started!

STEP ONE

·       Put aside some time. 

·       Grab something to drink. 

·       Choose your notebook. 

·       Find a nice pen. 

·       Settle in a quiet spot.

· Decide on what topic will you focus. Is it about Gratitude, experience from the past, or something else? 

  STEP TWO

· Be in the present moment; as you scribe each word, do not judge them. Just allow your thoughts and pen to flow as your experience unfolds moment by moment.

· Breathe! Avoid becoming anxious by breathing rhythmically and slowly. 

· If you become anxious or panicky – take 3 deep breaths in and out of your nose- then the 4th one in your nose and out your mouth (blowhard).

Finding it Difficult to get Started? TRY THIS….

· Reflect on a recent experience- don’t judge it as good or bad. Accept it as JUST IS. 

· Observe the experience realistically, reflect on the experience, then write it down.

· Get lost in thought, look within yourself – how do you feel deep down about the experience? -write it down.

 Ask Yourself…

· What feelings and emotions does the experience bring up? Write them down

· What can you learn about the experience-write it down?

· What lessons can you learn from the experience-write them down?

· Why did you make a particular decision?

· Was the experience a positive or a negative?

· What could you have done differently?

· What would you do the same?

· What did you think of your reactions during the experience?

· What did you think of your reactions after the experience was over and the emotions had subsided?

Well dear reader, I hope this helps you to get going on your reflective journaling journey.

As always -Thank you for visiting me here, I hope this post was helpful? Then please like, subscribe or  leave a comment with any questions you may have!

 If feel you would like further support, please contact me. Details of How to get in touch with me is found in the top menu on my home page.

There is so much more I an share with you because this is not the whole story but a snippet from my new book about Holistic Living, which features Mindfulness and issues around mental health. I am in the process of writing it. It will be published and made available to you later in the year – so keep a lookout for that! If you struggle to make self-care a priority or do not know how to start your mindfulness journey, check out my course, which will be available in the Summer of 2021- subscribe free to this blog to get updates! Regardless of where you are on your journey, I hope you hove found something useful here- if so, please let me know.

 HEAD OVER TO YOU TUBE AND CATCH UP WITH MY VIDEOS – its Free!

I look forward your visit to my next blog post!

Paula Rose Parish

How to Handle Being Misunderstood and the hurt incurred.

When you put yourself out there on the world wide web, there is an inescapable chance that misunderstanding and judgment will occur. Within relationships misunderstanding happens very easily, pulling families apart. The work place is a hot bed for misunderstandings to occur, its the job of management to resolve staff conflict.

Holistic living

In his blog, Ryan Frederick points out that when misunderstood, you must Find your identity & security only in Christ. The following is a quote from his blog to help you get started with this idea…….

……………” Christ understands you. He sees you from afar (Psalm 138:6), he designed and crafted you from within (Psalm 139:13-14), and he knows what it’s like to be human and to be tested (Hebrews 4:15). I hope this doesn’t roll off your back as a cliche. You are KNOWN. This is the first point because the rest will flow from this. If you know who you are in Christ, you can proceed with that knowledge and his perspective in mind. For example, maybe “being right” isn’t important at this moment. Maybe you just need to extend grace because your spouse hurting or not in a place to be corrected.” From <https://fiercemarriage.com/4-things-consider-next-time-feel-misunderstood

Although Ryan refers his idea to marriage, it is also relevant across the broad spectrum of relationships, and we can learn from this. As you know, I hold to the fact that holistic living is the way to bring wholeness to your everyday life. To make Christ the centre of your life feeds and frees your spirit. Your mind is calmed and brought hope and peace, then your body responds positivity. 

There have been times that I have shrunk away from God, sort of blaming him when in times of turmoil. Until a wake-up call thought entered my head! And it went something like this….

 ……….you are rejecting me when things go wrong. This shows you are laying the blame squarely on me- isn’t that what others have done to you? So, why play the blame game- it gets you nowhere and will estrange you from me….

 Well, I have to say that it certainly was woke me up! I realised I was feeling sorry for myself and had to snap out of it. 

So, What did I do next?

Forgiving (the holistic spirit)

 I knelt in prayer asking God in Christ to forgive me for withdrawing from his presence. I asked for forgiveness for any part that I played in the problem. I asked for wisdom (which I need tons of!) to work through the situation with grace and love and kindness. I asked the person for forgiveness and offered to talk it through, they refused to accept it and wanted to keep the drama playing. I was powerless to change that, so I prayed again- this time it was a blessing on those who misunderstood me, thus rejecting me. I asked God for the strength to let go and let God have his way.

I know I have written extensively about forgiveness in the past, but I think we all need a reminder to ensure that we do apply forgiveness. It’s far too easy to be so emotionally involved in our hurt feelings, that our hard heart will not reach out to forgive. Forgiveness applies to everybody. Forgive yourself. Forgive others.

Pay it no mind (the holistic mind)

In 1 Corinthians 13, the “love chapter,” we have a list of love’s attributes. Included in the description of love, however there are some things that love is not. Verse 5 says that ‘love keeps no record of wrongs.’ Or, as the Amplified Bible translates it, “It takes no account of the evil done to it, in other words – it pays no attention to a suffered wrong.”

The bottom line is that If you say you forgive, but keep the offence at the forefront, throwing back details into the person’s face, keeping the drama going– let’s get real here- You have not forgiven! True forgiveness pays no mind, it keeps no record of wrongs. 

Stop digging holes (the holistic body)

This is what I am guilty of and the situation is always made worse. I try to rescue the situation, and the more I try the deeper the darn hole gets! Soon I have dug so deep that I can’t see over the rim. I have buried myself in all the turmoil and hurt! look familiar?

 Well, I think if you are a rescuer or fixer, you can relate.

We must learn when it’s time to quit – then quit. This is the best thing to do or even the right thing. Surrender the situation to God. To leave the person who says you have offended them its best to leave them to their own emotions and choices. If  the other person is not happy with your explanation, it’s their problem not yours. You cannot satisfy someone who is adamant about having an argument. Do yourself a big favour and don’t engage in further discussion – stop digging!

It is time to stop digging and to cement that hole over and don’t go there again. It’s time, to take a breath of fresh air and start again. Accept when the situation cannot be rescued by you. If you wish to, leave the door open for the person who has misunderstood you. If they truly love you, they will want reconciliation as much as you.

Concentrate on those who truly care for you!

People get sacked from work due to misunderstandings and end up suing their employer for unfair dismissal. When misunderstandings cause family estrangement it is heart rendering indeed. Families who fall out forever is more common than you think. For many people, family is the centrepiece of their life. It’s where we gain a huge aspect of our identity, find comfort and support, unconditional acceptance, and a sense of belonging. Meghan Markle and Prince Harry have raised the issue of estrangement to a world wide level. On the internet their is a plethora of websites dedicated to helping parents of estranged from their children. One web site community group that I visited had over 40,000 membership! This shows how common this problem really is. For those who are estranged from their families, the family unit may become threatening as and not feel safe or nurturing. I have readers and followers from all over the world so I will outline some recent research from a few different countries.

Social worker and academic, Dr Kylie Agllias, has been researching family estrangements and how they impact us. Her research has revealed that about one in 25 Australian adults has been estranged from their family at some point in their lives. She says that family estrangements occur when there is a breakdown of trust, emotional intimacy and there are strong contrasting values. 

In the UK statics show that family estrangement has been defined as distancing and loss of affection that occurs over years or even decades within a family. It isn’t clear if such estrangement is on the rise since it is a relatively young field of research, but it is common. However, Research by Stand Alone, a UK charity that supports people who are estranged from relatives, suggests that estrangement affects at least one in five British families. Stand Alone founder Becca Bland, who has personal experience of estrangement as she has no contact with her parents, has also noticed that the topic is much more discussed than in the past. This is borne out by Google Trends data showing steady growth in people searching for estrangement-related terms, primarily in Canada, Australia and Singapore.

One United States of America study of more than 2,000 mother-child pairs found that 10% of mothers were currently estranged from at least one adult child. And one US study found that more than 40% of participants had experienced family estrangement at some point – suggesting that in certain groups, such as US college students, estrangement may be almost as common as divorce. Sound like an epidemic doesn’t it? 

I am sure the statics are similar across the world. It is a sad situation but one that is very real, and common. If you have been misunderstood and estranged from your family, be assured that you are not alone and there is a lot of help out there if you research and look for it. 

Those who truly love and care for you may not be your family. Friends are great because there is no history of offence with them. Unless you have grown up with them, you have a clean slate upon which to build a relationship. Appreciate them and keep in contact with those people. I have lots of lovely friends. I have found a unique relationship with each of my friends. With each one, we talk about different things and enjoy together various activities which are quite different from another. The friendship develops around the common ground which must be nurtured to grow.

Care for your Body

Being misunderstood causes your inner gut to twist and turn to make you feel sick. This is your body reacting to your emotional mind. You must care for your body. Don’t pummel it with alcohol or overload it with sugar, or late nights out. Nurture and care for your body with good food and passive exercise. Your body is the house your live in. In a time of turmoil, we forget about our bodily needs. 

When upset, I tend to stop eating and work from Dawn to Dusk. However, I am learning to do things differently. I look at my body like I look upon my two dogs. They are helpless without me. Whether I feel like it or not I must feed them, walk them, and stroke and groom them. I must provide a safe and enjoyable environment for them. Do the same for your body. 

Whether you feel like it or not, provide a safe and enjoyable environment for yourself. Feed your body well with natural foods, exercise it, groom it, care for it whether you feel like it or not – this is the only one you have! Your emotions can make you sick if you do not righty care for your body. I use many tools to help me with this and in posts to come, I will share them with you. 

 But in the meantime, you will find about how to care for your body mindfully, which is laid out in my new course and will be made available to you in summer 2021. If you want some ideas and tools to how to self-care, making it a priority or do not know how to start your holistic journey, check out the course, – subscribe free to this blog to get updates on this!

Thank you for visiting me here, I hope this post was helpful, I would love to hear from you. Feel free to contact me and share any thoughts you have. And if you enjoy reading this blog, please support it by subscribing or sharing, bookmarking and visiting the site.

 If feel you would like further support through counselling or coaching, please contact me. Details of How to get in touch with me is found in the top menu on my home page.

 HEAD OVER TO YOUTUBE AND CATCH UP WITH MY VIDEOS – it is Free! 

Virtual hugs, I look forward to your visit to my next blog post!

Paula Rose Parish

How I use Colouring for the healing of worries, loss, and past hurts.

In my past posts, I have outlined many aspects of holistic living, and one of them is mindfulness. Our minds are influential indeed, that will lead to our success or failure; so I feel, its important to become more familiar with the concept of mindfulness. In this post I want to share with you how I use colouring to help me through the overwhelm that each day can bring. This is not the whole story but a snippet from my new book about Holistic Living which features mindfulness. I am in process of writing it and will published and made available  to you later in the year – so keep a look out for that!

At first glance, mindfulness can look like just another hobby that people have caught on, much like meditation, yoga, or pottery. However, I have found that is not the case. When I initially came into holistic living, I promised myself that I would practice it daily. In my next post, I share with you how to make mindfulness a well-habit, but for now, in this post, I want to chat about How I use Colouring for healing of worries, loss, and past hurts. However, This is a short post and not the whole story but a snippet from my new book about Holistic Living that I am writing and will be published and available to you later in the year. 

As time goes by, I am learning to develop the mindful habit of Colouring and incorporate this mindfulness practice into my life. My friends and family thought I had discovered a new hobby to pass the time. However, I didn’t really know how to answer them and then, after a lot of research and reflection, I now know how to explain it, and it goes something like this …….. Mindfulness is not a hobby but something far more meaningful – It is a daily practice and a way of life.

 Having said that, hobbies do, however, come into play here. Although mindfulness is not a hobby in itself, hobbies can develop mindfulness in your life.

Mindfulness is the practice of observing yourself, others, and the environment without judgment. Mindfulness teaches us how to value our time by turning any moment into a present moment. The result of mindfulness practice is thinking objectively while being totally focused and present in the current moment. Your mind becomes relaxed and yet very aware. Your thoughts are focused and become more precise. Your body is relaxed as it receives calmness, peace and bliss state from your mind. 

Colouring for Healing 

There is a saying that depression is about the past and anxiety is about the future. If you ruminate about the past, constantly re-living hurts and regrets, you will become depressed and stressed! If your mind constantly goes to the land of “what if? or If only!” churning the things that could go wrong around in your head and probably will go wrong, you will become anxious, and sadness can overtake you. However, If you can stay in the moment, neither drifting to the past nor skipping to the future, I find that this moment, this second, minute or hour is tolerable and perhaps even enjoyable.

If you just stop for a moment and ponder, How am I feeling at this exact moment?  Is this exact moment stressfulCould I tolerate this moment another second? If The answer is NO, then the practice of mindfulness will help you. 

Now, if it were possible to think about this moment and only this moment, with no whirling thoughts of the past, no fears for the future, wouldn’t that be a relief? Of course it would, and that’s where the practice of Colouring for mindfulness comes into its own.

Get Lost

Colouring helps us to to get lost in time as we focus on the minute details of attending to our Colouring. There’s no time to dwell on the past or worry about the future. All you have to think about is this exact moment. You are choosing your colours and deciding where to place apply them. When you are in the mindful state- or bliss state, your try not to venture beyond the guidelines of the drawing to keep things neat and beautiful. As you colour, you see before your eyes something the wonder and beauty of what you are creating, and in anticipation, the finished result joyfully awaits you.

You might have noticed that many varieties of adult colouring books have made their way onto the market. These colouring books aim to look for mental stimulation, meditation, and mindfulness. My favourite types are the ones with intricate, pretty patterns, as I find they help me be the most mindful. I eventually laminate them and make a divider for my planner. I have also have made planner covers from my colouring projects. One day I will have a go at turning my colour creations into a picture that I can frame, and I may do this soon. Your creations do not have to sit inside the colouring book, gathering dust. They can be used for you to admire and others to appreciate for years to come. They may also give you a sense of calmness as you look at them because it reminds you of the calmness and joy of creating it. I have found that the very act of Creating brings healing to my mind. The fact that I have to keep refocusing my mind and changing colours makes it easier to keep my mind on the present moment and deter it from veering off elsewhere.

If Colouring seems like something you want to try, set aside time to sit down in a quiet place and do some colouring. Just commit to 10 mins at first, then increase it in each session. Soon you will find the time goes far too quickly, and you want to stay on the page. It really does bring the mind into full engagement with the activity. Because your mind becomes calm and relaxed, your body will also be, allowing you to unwind and de-stress.

To help get your started with Colouring for the healing of worries, loss, and past hurts. I am offering a FREE Book Mark for you to colour. Send me your email and I will send you Your Book Mark on PDF.

When your receive my email, simply Down load the PDF file then Just copy and paste and print our onto card. If you print it on regular paper when you have finished your colouring laminate it so its strong for use.

Thank you for visiting me here, I hope this post was helpful. Did you enjoy it? Then please like, subscribe or  leave a comment with any questions you may have! If feel you would like further support, please contact me.

Details of How to get in touch with me is found in the

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 HEAD OVER TO YOU TUBE AND CATCH UP WITH MY VIDEOS and I will see you in my next blog post!

Paula Rose Parish

How to Grow, and Improve Self Awareness with Mindfulness and Meditation

Change of circumstance and then learning new ways of doing things is terrifying and leave me feeling vulnerable. Due to the pandemic, I had to move my work and my whole life online to survive. I don’t really want to do it as I am a face-to-face kind of girl. I avoided it for the longest time, but when push came to shove, I had to bite the bullet and learn new things about the online world, which up to them, was an enigma to me. Now nine months in the adventure, I still get the jitters from time to time because I am still not wholly comfortable. However, if I keep going consistently, I know I will begin to enjoy the process and grow as a person.

And you dear Reader, in what ways can you learn, grow, and improve? What choices can you make to push past your comfort zone, act, and strive towards your best self while practising self-care?

In this post I want to share with you how you can grow and improve self awareness. This is not the whole story but a snippet from my new book about Holistic Living which features mindfulness and issues around mental health. I am in process of writing it. It will be published and made available to you later in the year – so keep a look out for that!

To help me to work through the’ scariness’ of learning things new, I found that I care for myself through living holistically, which is basically listening to my body, asking for God’s wisdom, and doing things to serve my growth, wins hands down every time. 

Sometimes though, we must push ourselves to leave our comfort zone, take that new job position, travel someplace new, or speak in front of a crowd. Take opportunities for personal growth and development.

Why mindfulness & meditation?

One of the most important aspects of holistic living is being present in the ‘here and now. To be focused and aware in the moment is of utmost benefit to mind, body, and spirit. That’s something I struggle with, and I often find myself looking towards the future or allowing my mind to pick up unnecessarily signals instead of being present in the moment. Despite the struggles, learning the practice of mindfulness and Christian meditation have made such a huge difference in my life. In another post, I will outline ‘how’ I practise mediation in my daily life, so keep watching out for that.

Mindfulness helps to bring awareness to my body, my emotions, and my thoughts. It helps me feel grounded, connected to the universe, and calm. I know it can be intimidating and challenging to start a mindfulness practice, but I encourage you to try out some guided meditations to start out.

If you struggle to make self-care a priority, check out my courses which will be available in Summer of 2021.

 Where do you spend your energy?

Your time and energy are precious, and you shouldn’t waste it on things that don’t matter. Are you spending hours watching TV or scrolling on social media every day? Are you allowing minor inconveniences to ruin your entire day? Are you getting stressed out about things you can’t control? Be aware of where you place your energy and where and what you give your attention to. 

So, do what to do? To start with, do what feels most important to you, and focus on those things. The ‘feeling’ part of you is your spirit- your inner core being. Allow that to guide you as you begin to learn to care for yourself. 

Practising self-care by way of a holistic lifestyle might mean different things to different people. There is no one “right” way to live a holistic lifestyle, as long you are caring for your entire self; mind, body, and spirit (soul).

Try to be mindful of how the different parts of your life interact. Be intentional about your choices every day, having your well-being in the uppermost part of your thoughts.

I hope this short article has helped to get you started on the journey of a lifetime. It’s a journey on which your life may depend as you practice self-care.  

Thank you for visiting me here. Please like, subscribe and free to leave a comment with any questions!

 If feel you would like further support, please contact me. Details of How to get in touch with me is found in the top menu on my home page.

My Blog posts are for your encouragement.

 HEAD OVER TO YOU TUBE AND CATCH UP WITH MY VIDEOS and

I will see you in my next blog post!

Paula Rose Parish

Bliss- How to avoid overwhelm and have a healthy mindset

These days we’re bombarded with so many ideas of what it means to be ‘healthy. But what does it actually mean to be ‘healthy’? Is it going to the gym every day? Having glowing hair and skin? Drinking green juices? Walking 10,000 daily steps? How about wearing jogging shoes from dawn until dusk?!

In this post I want to share with you how I gin a healthy mindset. This is not the whole story but a snippet from my new book about Holistic Living which features mindfulness and issues around mental health. I am in process of writing it and be published and made available to you later in the year – so keep a look out for that!

Health and appearance often get confused. Some people judge health on how they look, for example, their body shape and size, but this isn’t always a sure indicator. Everyone is different, and just because someone is bigger or smaller than someone else doesn’t mean they are healthier or unhealthier. There is a lot we don’t know and cannot see.

If asked, ‘what does it mean to be healthy’, each of us will come up with our own version of that question; we all have our personal version of what optimum health and well-being is. I believe that good health, mind, body and soul, whatever it may look like for you, begins with a healthy mindset.

What is a Healthy Mindset?

Decide  A healthy mindset is deciding that Healthy living is about respecting my mind, respecting my body. I can make positive and informed decisions to look after my health while remembering that what goes into my body and what I do with it can affect my mind and spirit (the essence of you) because everything’s connected.
Do A healthy mindset is taking charge of my own health with consistent action upon what I have decided to care for myself.
Maintain– A healthy mindset is about maintaining my overall health to adapt as my mind, body and spirit grows and changes. 

Remember, nothing is more important than looking after yourself. If you don’t look after yourself, how can you be energetic, fit and well to maintain your world’s responsibilities or look after others? 

How to maintain a healthy Mind Set

If you view your mind in the same way as you do your body, it will be easier to understand how to look after it. Your mind is not on automatic pilot to be healthy. However, you must maintain its health. Therefore if you have a healthy mind, it follows that you will have a healthy mindset. 

Whether it’s seeking out a therapist, playing a sport, or creating art, do whatever it takes to find a way to get and maintain a healthy mind set.

I have found that writing is such a therapeutic practice, it focus my mind and such a great outlet. I practice daily prayers and devotions each morning, and I write my thoughts in a journal. At each day’s end, i pray and sit down to journal. Within 20 words, I jot down my all over days events and make a few comments. This helps me to sort and clear my mind, as one would an email in-box. Have a go at a few things to find what works for you, and make time for that thing as much as possible.

Some other ideas for maintaining a healthy mindset is- :

Writing a blog

Dancing

Working out

Singing

Building something

Making crafts

Walking mindfully

Indulge in regular self-care

I’m a huge fan of self-care. I don’t leave it to the health professionals to care for me. During the off and on lockdowns in the past year, I have found it’s almost impossible to access any kind of professional health care anyway! Regular self-care is about prevention which is far better than cure. If we have a healthy mindset we will DECIDE, DO and MAINTAIN to prevent burn out, stress, and exhaustion. A huge part of living a holistic lifestyle is listening to your body and treating it with love and respect. If you’re body needs a break, let it rest. If you need energy, go for a run. Do the things that help you feel your best!

Thank you for visiting me here. I hope this short guide to holistic living was helpful. Feel like, subscribe or like and free to leave a comment with any questions!

If you feel you would like further support, please contact me. Details of How to get in touch with me is found in the top menu on my home page.

My Blog posts are for your encouragement.

HEAD OVER TO my YouTube channel and catch up with my videos, and I will see you in my next blog post!

Paula Rose Parish

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Let God comfort you

Psalm 23 v 4

Your Rod and Staff Comfort Me are metaphors

We need, in love, to practice only this: letting each other go. For holding on comes easily; we do not need to learn it.”  Rainer Maria Rilke, Translations from the Poetry of Rainer Maria Rilke

This is true, clinging unnecessarily to a person, a feeling, ideal, or value comes easy. But when that thing becomes destructive, the letting go is the hard part.

John Callahan aids our understanding of these important metaphors

During times of struggle and danger, Jesus is there to comfort us. While the rod and the staff are used both for protection and discipline, it is important to notice that the goal is comfort. The meaning of the Hebrew word for rod (sebet) and staff (mishena) are very special. The Hebrew word – sebet, has the idea of a stick. It originally referred to a part on a tree. In old Hebrew, stick was used to count sheep and also to protect them from other animals (Leviticus 27.32). God is using his rod and staff to comfort you. The Hebrew word for comfort in nhm, which means both comforts or to console and has a strong emotional sense to it.

Wow, I find that really comforting, do you? God keeps a tally of us. He counts us so he knows that when we go astray, which one is missing. He uses that same counting measure to protect us from evil. After all, Jesus taught us to pray ‘deliver us from the evil one’. But he needs our permission to do that. That’s is why the Lord’s prayer is an asking prayer and not a declaration prayer. The staff is to guide and draw us back into the fold when we stray. God has all the bases covered, all we need to do is allow God to act on our behalf. Allow God to protect and comfort you, and I believe this is a daily thing. Each new day arrives with new challenges, and to refresh our memory and commitment to allow God to act on our belief is part of our relationship with him.

So take up the challenge today to let go and let God.

Letting go

One of the blights of humanity is frustration. Human beings are forever striving for pleasure and wonderful feelings of rapture and bliss which in analysing it, is only temporal in nature. Try as we might the problem is that in doing this, we are trying to convert the temporal experience it into something permeate, which cannot be done.

In hankering that which is lost, frustration ensues, grief may result. When it goes wrong, we try to fix it to make it permanent, but we can do it. No matter how hard we try, we cannot make that which is temporary permanent. And we know that we will be disappointed because the pleasure will fade away and we want those pleasurable feeling back again. Jesus said do not chase after those things which are here today and gone in a few minutes, but rather strive for those things that are permanent by its nature and therefore more satisfying. Trying to hold on to a relationship which is gone will leave you frustrated and grieved for as long as you hold onto it. All human relationships albeit long term, are temporal subject to this life. The only relationship it is nature is permanent is with God through Christ which is subject to life eternal.

 

Jonah and Me

 

Jonah and the whale is a strange- tale indeed. It has mostly been relegated to the category of myth were exciting children books emerge from. You know the story well, so I won’t elaborate here.

But Jonah is an important story for us to understand. Why? Because it is all about You and Me. It’s about how we behave towards God and to those around us. And of course, we would never have such a dramatic experience as Jonah, but each of us has our fair share of times when we run away from Gods love and presence and find ourselves in some sticky situation. We can break fellowship with God, but we can never break our relationship- he is our Father and therefore,  he will never give up on us, but always draws us back to himself. So, Jonah has much to teach us.

The prince of preachers Charles Haddon Spurgeon once said: what is the use of grace which I profess to have received which leaves me exactly the same sort of person as I was before I received it? A faith that does not lead to a drastic change of behaviour, will never lead to a change of destiny.

Jonah had to be brought down to the depths to understand the love, holiness and grace of God and how much he values others even when they were immoral, for his destiny to change and that of others. And God wanted Jonah to value the sinful folk of Nineveh, by warning them of impending doom, so they could be saved. How wonderful the grace of God!

Jonah’s’ behaviour was unkind, judgemental and selfish and did not match the behaviour of his benevolent God.  So, God in his mercy brought Jonah back to into fellowship to himself using adverse circumstances.

I am awaiting a knee replacement and having cortisone injections under my knee cap to reduce swelling and pain. Years as a sportswoman is now catching up with me. I morn at times for the freedom in mobility I once had, however, I have and still learning lessons about God and myself due to my malaise. And I have to say, I am glad that when I wake up each day and journey through my day that I call out to God through Christ to help me get through it according to his will. And you know what? -he does, the power of the Spirit is there. My adverse situation has made me realise things about myself that I would have never encountered had my knee and shoulder (and feet) been whole. Its all about behaviour. The children of God will reflect the nature of their Father. And adverse situations, if we allow them, will do just that.

If you are struggling with your faith or a difficult situation, and you would like support and prayer, please contact on at me and we will chat over a coffee.

In the meantime, avoid whales!

God bless,

Rev Paula

Happy New Year 2019!

I want to thank you for the lovely cards and well wishes I received from you over Christmas, much appreciated, and I look forward to fellowshipping with you this year, please contact me to make a time for me to visit with you. The Christmas season can be a wonderful time and is still here until Epiphany arrives on the 6th January.  Somehow, I don’t think we consider the 12 days of Christmas from 25 Dec -5 Jan; which can be a time to regroup after a hectic Christmas holiday. Jesus told us to give no thought for tomorrow – Matthew 6:34 Therefore don’t worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. But he’s is NOT saying don’t plan. He is talking about the unknown that tomorrow might bring and worrying about it and missing the blessings of today. He is talking about living in the NOW, enjoying this moment because you will never experience this moment, this day ever again. Jeremiah 29:1 says… For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. So, God is into plans, and our plans should match His for us so we can be happy.

I belong to a health club. Each year they bring in new gym equipment, I guess to keep the people interested. The place is packed out in January, but come February, things get back to normal and my guess is that most people have given up on their New Year’s resolutions- to get thinner, fitter and healthier. There is nothing wrong with New Year’s resolutions because it’s all about a fresh start, I made some and many of us try hard to keep them. The good news is that with each new year, comes an opportunity for a fresh start. But then, this is so each week. Every Sunday is the first day of the week which affords us a new beginning and we can put the past week well and truly behind us. Learning from its lessons and starting again for a new week afresh. Indeed, we could go further and say Gods mercies are New Every morning, Lamentations 3:22-23. The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. And we see this pattern in the first three words in the Bible – in the beginning – there is a new start from the dawn of time, from chaos to light. In Gods’ world, there’s always a beginning, no matter if it’s the first, second third or more!

For many of us, 2019 is a blank page. You may have some appointments, holidays and plans in your new diary, but by and large, it’s not all filled in. So, what are you going to do with this time, this gift of time given to all of us? We could squander it, or we could use it for Gods glory while drawing on His new mercies every morning. It starts with us giving our all to God. Ask God to be your time clock, for His will to be done for the day. Then you will find, come hell or high water that it is all in his plan. Maybe you are being tested and need to learn something that no other circumstance can teach. Having said that, I don’t believe God tests us with sickness or disease, and there are several good theological reasons why I say that, however, God does use all circumstances and will turn them around for our good if we give it to Him and trust Him. Whatever happens this year, Christ is all in all and loves You very much- give him a go and see yourself grow, in faith, love, a hope of a bright tomorrow. The fresh start may be a part of His loving plan as you put yourself in his loving hand, today, tomorrow and all year long!

God bless you all and Happy New Year!!!

Psalm 46:10 for Advent

The psalmist has the true message. We have to slow down to truly feel the loving touch of God’s hand. We are in the midst of this Advent season and are waiting for the coming. At first thought, the waiting should be in stillness and calm but that not the way it is at all. We are so rushed and busy with the many responsibilities and obligations of the season. There are gifts to buy, parties to go to, special church services to attend, and for most of us, Christmas will be a relief. It is a relief because we can slow down and rest from the “holidays” that our world has created.

Let me urge you to think in a counter-cultural way. Try to see these coming days between now and Christmas day as a time to reflect on the true meaning of Christmas. The true meaning of Christmas is love.  For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.”  (John 3:16) The true joy of Christmas is the celebration of this incredible act of love. Love is so easy to forget in the midst social norms that conflict with our faith and of competing for ideas that surround us. Let us resolve not to be carried away by popular culture.

A few suggestions:

  • Give something to a total stranger. (not just a homeless person)
  • Take the time to make eye contact and speak to store clerks who serve you.
  • Reaffirm your love (with words) to your family and friends.
  • Pay someone a genuine compliment.
  • Share your belief in the love of God through Christ our saviour of Christmas with someone.
  • Attend worship on Christmas Eve.
  • Reconcile with someone.
  • Pray.
  • Spend a little time in silence every day.

Those are just a few of the many things that we can do in this season if we just slow down and look outside of ourselves. I am sure that you can think of some on your own, but you need to be still long enough to do so.  Find a way to grab the opportunities that come your way show the love of Jesus Christ.

 

Prayer

Father, there are times when I just want to ask your help so that I may just spend some time living like you intended. May I follow the example of Jesus as I share the love that was modelled by Him. Such a love is without strings or stipulation but merely a love that is waiting to be accepted. Let me reach out with open arms to all. May you guide in my decisions this advent and Christmas season and allow me to be a source of blessing to those I touch.

Amen.