You Need THIS if you’re Grieving.

Is it just me or has the first week or so of the year felt more like a month!? Between balancing work, home, and the grief that I am experiencing, there’s a lot with which to cope.

There are many types of grief that we go through throughout our lives.

We grieve because of the loss of a loved one, as I have experienced recently. We grieve over a divorce and, with it, a loss of lifestyle and perhaps family and beloved friends. We grieve when we move house away from family, friends, and all familiarity. We grieve when we lose our job or enter into retirement when we feel we have lost our sense of purpose.

I wrote the book Nothing Good about Grief in the first year of the pandemic. The losses that everyone experienced worldwide were incalculable, which prompted me to share my experience and expertise within the pages of an uncomplicated book packed with information to support you. 

I have revised Nothing Good about Grief and updated its cover. If you have been through grieve, experiencing it now, or supporting somebody who is, then Nothing Good about Grief will aid you through the lowest times in your life. 

Nothing Good about Grief gives you a small insight into my life and how I have managed my grief and found a way through. Steering your way through grief is not easy, but it is essential to living a whole and happy life. 

We can do nothing about the losses that we have experienced, but we can do something about how we will react to those losses. Nothing Good about Grief will help you turn our lemons into lemonade. Nothing Good about Grief helps you heal your devastation and provides hope for a bright future from now on.

No matter your age, Nothing Good about Grief, with its simple format and workshop towards the end of the book, will guide your way through the experience of grief and help you come through that dark valley into the bright sunshine of expectation.

Pick up your copy of Nothing Good about Grief from Amazon now!

Copy & paste this link into your browser or click on the link-    Nothing Good About Grief: from grief to recovery eBook: Rose-Parish, Paula: Amazon.co.uk: Kindle Store.

If you would like more personal support as well, I have a Master of Arts in counselling and coaching, so I am happy to help you through your grief- let me know! 

I’d love to hear from you – for any reason. So hit reply and let me know how are you doing after the first couple of weeks of the year? No, really… how are you doing? We put so much stress on ourselves in these first few weeks of the year with all these goals and habits… and it is ok if you haven’t sorted everything yet. So just let me know, how are you doing?

Talk soon,

Paula Rose💕

If you want some ideas and tools to relieve and manage stress, check out the course on the home page.

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 If you feel you would like further support, please contact me. Details of How to get in touch with me are found in the top menu above.

Bye for now- and remember live life in Hope, Faith & Love!

Virtual Hugs

Paula Xx

😀So many people want their faith and church to grow. The problem is to figure out where to begin. This site is about helping people do just that. It’s for anyone who feels stuck in their faith and longs for a breakthrough. It’s for people who are exploring Christianity and want to know what it’s all about – apart from what they see in the media. If that’s you – please consider subscribing.

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aula is an Ordained Minister, Blogger, Podcaster, Course Creator, Published Author and has a Master of Arts in Counselling and many other qualifications and a lifetime so, I have heaps to share with you.

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How to Prepare for Death- talk about it.

It’s 2022 and the COVID variants are still with us. Healthy people are dying from this dreaded virus every single day. For example, today, I learnt of a perfectly healthy 19-year-old who had died within 48 hours of not feeling well. The autopsy revealed it was COVID related. 

Later in the day, I received another call about the news of a young mum with two tiny toddlers. She tested positive for COVID 19, and she felt a bit unwell but was still walking around independently. However, her doctor decided to admit her to the hospital. As the young mum settled into her hospital bed, the nurse attending her asked how she felt. She said, “I feel a little bit unwell, but apart from that, I have no other symptoms”. Unfortunately, the next day she passed away. 

On hearing this sad news of these two people who suddenly died, my heart immediately went out to these dear families who are faced with one of the worst tragedies of their lives. My Dad passed away recently, the death of a loved one is hard enough to bear when you are aware that they have but a short time to live. However, no one has time to prepare emotionally for such a horrible event when it is totally out of the blue. 

At such times, it often happens that the loved ones who are left behind are so shocked by this event they either want to freeze, flight or fight the situation. Shock is a terrible state to deal with, especially if you don’t realise that you’re actually in shock. I have a section in my book “Nothing Good about Grief, shown below, which explains what shock is and how to recognise it in yourself.

Yet, in a state of shock, the loved one is expected to deal with all legalities and funeral arrangements, leaving no time to reflect or grieve. Just after a loved one dies and the body is released, each day becomes filled with notifying banks, social services, employers, collecting death certificates, notifying utility services, etc. In addition, one might be faced with arranging the care of any children left behind, not to mention any pets. Then there is the heart-breaking task of notifying friends and family of the death of the one that you dearly loved and wonder how you do without them. 

The funeral arrangements alone are a massive task because one is not prepared for this and perhaps has never experienced dealing with these kinds of things before. All these tasks and others are terribly time-consuming, exhausting, and sleep does not come easy. Finally, the day of the funeral arrives totally exhausted from the previous week’s events the loved one feels as if they have hit a milestone. They are perhaps comforted with the words. It will be over soon. But in reality, no words are sufficient to bring the comfort of any kind. 

What most people dread is the funeral service itself. Family and friends gather around, paying respect to their loved ones, and as the funeral service progresses, the reality of the situation is revealed, a loved one has died and will not be coming back. The day after the funeral, the loved one who is left greets not only a new day but a new lifestyle and, for many, a totally new life entirely. Now without the hustle and bustle of arranging this, and arranging that, notifying this person notifying that person is behind them, then suddenly everything comes to a standstill. Busyness does not wind down slowly but ends the day after the funeral abruptly. Here, the shock is compounded, and one may ask, what shall I do now?

None of us wishes to face the reality of death, particularly in our western culture, where we tend to tuck it away, and it is never a topic of conversation. Unfortunately, not discussing what will happen in our own death has become a cultural norm and is not helpful in times of tragedy. When we are mentally and emotionally prepared for an event, we can cope with it a lot better than when we are not prepared.

We need to talk about death & Dying

Conversing around the dinner table about death and dying prepares us all mentally and emotionally for the inevitable, however distasteful we might find it. There are many other cultures that death is part of living and is celebrated in ways that support good mental health, and we should learn from them. None of us can be prepared for sudden death. However, we can prepare for the eventuality that our loved ones and ourselves will eventually die one day. 

Over the last 40 years, I have done countless funerals and supported many grieving families. I have found that those who have arranged instructions for their funeral are more likely to openly and naturally talk about death than those who don’t prepare. 

It is evident to me those people who have prepared for their funerals mentally, emotionally, and taken some action, like choosing their hymns, readings, where they want the funeral to be etc. In this case, the loved ones left behind cope far better than those who don’t benefit from prior arrangements to the death. 

I know this subject goes against our cultural grain, but we would be doing our loved ones a great favour if we did talk about death and dying and plan for our funerals. This is an act of love because it will be a considerable weight off our loved one’s shoulders when we die.

I’ve also met dozens of people who have been left in substantial financial debt, or their estate has been left in massive disarray due to a loved one’s death. If we love our loved ones, we will get our affairs in order not to overburden them at the time of our death.

I know death is not the best subject in the world, but it is a necessary one to be addressed calmly and naturally. None of us likes to think that one day we will be no more. However, the Christian hope is that that life will continue beyond this world, just in another form and in another dimension called heaven. Having this point of view and assurance that our life will continue after our death, life and death take on a completely different hue. No longer is death the scary big boogie man that must be ignored at all costs, but a fact of life that has hope for today and for an eternal future. 

  • ARE you nervous about the subject of death & dying?
  • Do you believe that there is life after life?
  • are you bereaved and finding it hard to cope?

📚Psalm 23 Unwrapped: Hope in difficult times

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Stay in the Ship

Acts 27:27-31

27 On the fourteenth night we were still being driven across the Adriatic Sea, when about midnight the sailors sensed they were approaching land. 

28 They took soundings and found that the water was a hundred and twenty feet deep. A short time later they took soundings again and found it was ninety feet deep. 

29 Fearing that we would be dashed against the rocks, they dropped four anchors from the stern and prayed for daylight. 

30 In an attempt to escape from the ship, the sailors let the lifeboat down into the sea, pretending they were going to lower some anchors from the bow. 

31 Then Paul said to the centurion and the soldiers, “Unless these men stay with the ship, you cannot be saved.”

Remember when Princess Diana died, the people’s princess. Here was a highly attractive woman whose beauty was on the inside as well on the outside. There was reports that she was a down to earth person with great and genuine compassion, grace. One moment Diana was having a wonderful dinner at the Ritz Hotel in France, and the next moment she was fighting for her life in the back seat of a car in Paris tunnel. Diana died. She no longer exists- just like that! All that beauty and grace snuffed out in a blink of an eye. This delightful, lively mother with everything to live for, was deceased quite unexpectedly in a flash of time. Tragic indeed. At this present time, there are people all over the world who are fighting for their life. Perhaps due to COVID-19 or from some other malady. Coming face to face with the tragedy of death, brings it home to us that we all stand on the boundary of our mortality and the uncertainty of future events. The problem occurs when we fail to understand the nature of life and death and resurrection. We cannot perceive what the future might look like, so we tend to put our priorities in those things we count as sure. The things we concentrate on are usually of material value; those things that to which our five senses can connect. This sort of world view creates a long-term problem. In as much that we try to cling to this life as if it is our only hope and in doing so, we fail to see the bigger picture of Gods kingdom. 

Background of the Voyage

The Apostle Paul was arrested and spent two years in prison in Caesarea, which is on the Mediterranean coast of Israel. Paul had been accused of crimes by the Jewish leaders and was put on trial before the Governor, Festus and visiting King Agrippa. During his trial, Paul demanded his right, as a Roman citizen, to be tried by Caesar. Festus agreed and sent him to Rome to stand trial. That brings us to Acts 27

The details of the voyage which took Paul and Luke to Rome begins in Acts 27. The group of soldiers and prisoners were under the command of a Roman centurion named Julius. They set sail from Caesarea and made a couple of stops before they landed at Myra in Lycia. Here they boarded a second ship, an Alexandrian ship, bound for Rome. Beginning in Acts 27:6, the text starts to lay out the details of the voyage and the sinking. They were sailing late in the sailing season and very soon the ship and the 276 people on board were all caught up in a great storm. They fought the storm, but soon gave up all hope of rescue and the ship was driven off course across the Mediterranean Sea.

Fourteen days later the ship would be forced aground and wrecked on a remote island in the Mediterranean. However, everyone on board was saved and managed to get safely onshore. After three months, Paul and Luke would continue the journey to Rome, where Paul was eventually tried before Caesar and ultimately put to death. But the main point I want to drive home today is found in verses 31 unless these men stay in the ship. You cannot be saved. 

Taking this as a metaphor, can anyone guess who the ship might be?……

When I was about 12 years old, I jumped off the jetty at Grange Beach, South Australia, and got caught in a rip…….

The water was warm as it always is in the summer and became very alarmed when the rip began to carry me out sea. I was swept way past the jetty, and I began to panic in fear of drowning. Then I heard a voice, and I do not know whether it was spoken inside of myself or outside of myself, all I know is that voice was not mine. The voice told me to relax and float with the current. That is all that was said. Because it was so sure, and at the same time comforting, and strengthening, I laid on my back and began to float. I was not the best swimmer in the world, but so I knew how to float and to tread water. When I was treading water; it just increased the panic. When I began to float, calm and reassurance overtook me. With my face towards the sky, I knew that I was moving rapidly and then it seemed a short while, when I began to feel the sand beneath my feet. I stood up and looked around and saw the jetty in the far distance. I realised that I landed on the next beach, which was quite a long way away, about a mile and a half. If I had not obeyed the instructions, I would have surely drowned. If I had questioned where that voice had come from, I would not have had no time to stop panicking, and I would not have been here to tell the story. This story serves as a metaphor for how we are to live our life. We will greatly benefit if we relax in the current of Gods love and in the wisdom and in the comfort of the Holy Spirit. We can be assured that in Jesus Christ, we have our salvation and the victory over the power of death. We will be like Him. Like Jesus, our physical death will give away to resurrection and the promised new Jerusalem.  death is certain for all of us as it was for Diana.

The point is, no matter what happens to us, if we stay IN CHRIST, we will be saved. Another passage of scripture shows us this clearly.

Matthew 24:12 Because of the multiplication of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold. 13 the one who perseveres to the end will be saved. 14 And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in all the world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come.

I encourage you to persevere though the difficulties of Covid-19. Stay in Christ, and you will get through. If you do not know Jesus, please open your heart, and see that the Lord good. Ask Father God in Jesus Christ, to forgive your sins and pledge to follow him all the days of your life. If you sincerely do this, your joy will be made full!

May God bless you. If you have made a commitment to Christ or have any questions- please feel free to contact me. I would love to hear from you.  

Until next time, Live Life on Purpose in Hope, Faith & Love.

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