You may have noticed that I haven’t written for a very long time for those who follow my blog regularly. Nor have I produced a newsletter. The reason for this is I have had a bathroom refurbishment and experienced many a difficulty with dealing with a rogue builder. I’ve also had computer problems and had to purchase another; hopefully, this one will be more reliable. The rogue builder started the work in May, made a terrible mess, and scammed me out of money. Finally, I found a fantastic builder called Afan Property and they completed their work today. They rescued the situation, and they did a fantastic job! During the turmoil, I moved away from my usual writing schedule. Dealing with the rogue builder has been of great stress and disappointment to me, and this is the theme upon which I am writing today.
One of the most complex problems in life I have personally found hardest to bear is the feeling of disappointment. Disappointment comes where there is an expectation of something happening which does not occur. With disappointment comes a sick and dramatic feeling of sheer hopelessness, which manifests in the pit of one’s stomach.
Proverbs 13:12 ‘Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but it is a tree of life when the hope is fulfilled.’
I have come through many a toil and storm as I know you have. I have shared some of my story with you here in my blog, so be sure to look back to earlier posts. I am sure we agree that facing the disappointments that life throws at us is undoubtedly one of the hardest things to make sense of and cope with.
I am the type of person who wants to believe in and trust the word of others. So, when that person, for whatever reason, does not adhere to their word, in particular if its life changing, I become grossly disappointed. I feel sick to my stomach and leaves all my hopes dashed.
In my 60+ years living on this earth, if I received £1 for every time I was let down, I would indeed be a wealthy woman! The feelings of disappointment have made me even more determined as a human being to ensure that I stick to my word. I do not want to be responsible for anyone else giving up hope.
Are you dealing with disappointment? If you are, I know how you feel. The feeling of hopelessness is awful. I have pretty recently felt that way, and one should not live their life in a state of hopelessness, as some do.
I am diligent to the best of my ability, not hold a grudge, and I ensure that I forgive. However, being human, I have not always stuck to my word either; I try to bring hope for most of the time rather than dash it.
Unfortunately, I have found some people regularly make it a lifestyle of not sticking to their word, they promise you things, and for the most part, stick to it. But, then as they become more familiar with you, they become less and less reliable.
It may be a person close to you who has disappointed you. It may be somebody who works for you or a service someone has provided. Perhaps your boss promised you a raise or a promotion, which doesn’t come to fruition. A work colleague may have let you down. Maybe it’s someone you’re in a relationship with who has made false promises, leaving you feeling used. Whatever it may be, disappointment hold sway when somebody else does not fulfil their promise, dashing your hopes entirely, To be sure, disappointment can be pretty overwhelming at times.
This poses a question in my mind, how can one be rid of the feeling of disappointment and move on?
First of all, you must not play the blame game.
When you focus on blame and criticism of the person who has let you down, it makes the matter a lot worse for you. It is an endless merry go round that you can’t get off, stirring your emotions afresh every time you bring it to remembrance. You must stop the blaming and actively seek justice through the right channels. Seeking true justice is not vengeance and will end the matter, whereas blaming and vengeance will keep it going for years. You need to heal yourself of the worry and disappointment, and you cannot do that if you have a bad attitude towards those who have disappointed you. Why?
This is because your emotions will reflect directly upon you and your future. In short- your attitudes eventually become you. What you focus on today will be your reality tomorrow. Therefore, no matter how awful the situation is for you today, don’t hang onto it; otherwise, resentment will build. Resentment will grow to a grudge and then hate, and then you will have a deeper problem on your hands in the future.
Do you think it’s worth hanging on to a grudge against the person who has disappointed you? Jesus tells us that it’s not- he clearly says that we must first forgive for us to be forgiven.
If we hold a grudge, how can we expect that no one in the world will hold a grudge against us? How can we expect others to be forgiving towards us if we hold something towards them? The law of sowing and reaping come into play here.
Alternatively, if we refuse to hold a grudge, are quick to forgive and are quick to put it out of our minds, we can expect others to be the same towards us. And indeed, God will be the same towards us because this is what is promised to us in the Holy Bible
I have been scammed, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. This so-called builder scammed me; however, I do not hold a grudge. On the contrary, I have forgiven and pray for him, although I am seeking justice and will move on, and learnt some valuable lessons along the way.
If you can take anything from my experience, accept that there always will be evil people who will leave you disappointed.
Accept that they are people who will disappoint you unintentionally.
Accept that the disappointment will hurt you for a time, but there is healing.
Accept that if you do not forgive, you tie God’s hands to forgive you.
Accept that holding a grudge and even taking revenge is a no-win way to play it.
Accept that the blame game will leave you sour and even more disappointed.
These are just some of the things to consider. However, there is much more that can be said that this short blog post muster.
It is worth remembering that when you are grossly disappointed, give it to the Lord Jesus, ask him to give you the power and strength to bless and forgive.
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Virtual hugs, I look forward to your visit to my next blog post!
Paula Rose Parish
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