How mindfulness Empowers You to accept lifestyle changes – 3 simple ways to self soothe.

How are you feeling about making plans as the COVID restrictions ease? For me, I’ve got excited about catching up in real life with the people who I love. Trying to maintain relationships online just isn’t the same and sometimes can be detrimental. But once I began to book a few things into my diary, I started to feel a cloud of depression creeping in on me. My mind whirled- now I have to make yet another lifestyle change. Now I have to learn anew how to manage a new lifestyle with actual physical people in it, not just faces on a screen or a disembodied voice on the telephone. Like me, you might be meeting these challenges with a looming overwhelming feeling , and no one would blame you, especially for us who live alone and have been living a shut-in lifestyle for over the past year. It took months for me to adapt to my new ‘shut in’ lifestyle. Contemplating months of aloneness and possible loneliness shook me to the core. I fought back with tears, anger then eventually docile acceptance. If you are interested in reading about my experience of how the practice of mindfulness empowers You to accept lifestyle changes – Keep Reading!

I finally adapted very well to my new lifestyle and found various ways to keep myself productively busy and happy. However, now the prospect of getting back to ‘normal’ causes butterflies in my stomach and overwhelms my happiness. I am nervous about facing yet another lifestyle change!

In this post, I want to share how I use mindfulness to help me through the overwhelm that a lifestyle change can bring. I share with you how I use colouring to help me through the overwhelm that each day can bring. This is not the whole story but a snippet from my new book about Holistic Living which features mindfulness. I am in process of writing it and will published and made available  to you later in the year – so keep a look out for that!

·       Self-soothing mindfully 

Lifestyle changes can cause a backlog of overwhelming tasks to face. We feel overwhelmed one, day carry it over to the next and then carry that over to the next day or week. Before long, we have a backlog and run into all kinds of complications. We aren’t robots; we need time and space to wind down; we need to be soothed regularly. Living alone has advantages and disadvantages. One of the disadvantages is that I have no one to soothe me after a horrible day so I can relax. I have no one to soothe my brow, massage my shoulders or feet. There is no voice of comfort or encouragement to help me through a difficult situation. With living alone, we must learn how to do all of the above ourselves. Here are a few ways that I have found to soothe myself.

Face massager: I have a small handheld face massager that I run all over my face. It soothes a headache in my temples and feels amazing comforting as I slowly run it over my face. It has the added benefit of strengthening facial muscles and decreasing fine lines.

Hot wheat bag: I have Reynard’s disease and feel the cold bitterly. I put a wheat bag in the microwave for 3mins. When I am tired and strung out, I simply put my warm wheat bag on my shoulders, feet or hands- anywhere I need it to soothe my weariness away. 

Cool gel bag: you may be someone who prefers the ‘cool’ approach rather than warm If this is the case, a cold gel bag is a tool for you to soothe your weariness away. 

I do many other things to self soothe, which I will share with you in another post.

·       Mediation- a mindful practice

Mediation works wonders during a lifestyle change! With change comes challenges that threaten to overwhelm us. Just taking 10 mins alone in meditation gives you a breather and can help you refocus on what is ahead of you. Mediation can help you sort your priorities and help you to see your situation more clearly. When your mind is rested and renewed, so is your focus and intention. 

·       Slow down and become mindful.

You are not a robot, so stop expecting yourself to run infinitely on an automatic pilot. Throughout our day, we encounter many changes, some of them we create, but at other times circumstance or other people create change for us. This all has a bearing on the ‘style’ of our day. I tend to set far too many daily goals. I use my computer for everything I do, and I expect things to run smoothly. But the truth is that my workload rarely runs without a hitch. There are many times more than I would lie when my computer is low. The broadband network might be overloaded, and the downloads or uploads take forever. This ties my computer up, and all I can do is patiently wait. There are times when my computer has crashed for no apparent reason. I use Dragon text to speech as it helps with my dyslexia, and to my frustration, it often refuses to open. Then I must take time out to make a call to customer service. All this puts a spanner in the works taking me away from my precious work schedule. By the end of the day, I go to bed feeling defeated, not having addressed most of my tasks which must be laid over till the next day. I looked hard and long at this recurring problem and decided to approach it prayerfully but also mindfully.

How did I approach this mindfully? I began each new task far slower than usual. I intensely focused on the task at hand and tried to resist the temptation to multitask. I did my best not to call to mind all the other tasks waiting for me, so I could concentrate on what was at hand. When my computer decided not to play ball, being in the mindful mode, I felt an inner calm and dealt with it in peace rather than panic. Being mindful helps me to roll with the wanted and unwanted changes in the course of my day. Slowing down and being ‘mindful’ of each task helps me to be one with that task achieving far more in less time.

Allowing myself to approach my lifestyle changes mindfully brings healing like no other and the courage and strength to help me today. The Lord tells us to be strong and of good courage. And it seems to me that God leaves it to us to discover how to be a solid and courageous person. I have found that Practicing mindfulness enables me to achieve what I want to and also ‘be’ the person that I aspire to.

Thank you for visiting me here, I hope this post was helpful. Please like, subscribe or like and feel free to leave a comment with any questions!

 If feel you would like further support, please contact me. Details of How to get in touch with me is found in the top menu on my home page.

 HEAD OVER TO YOU TUBE and catch up with my latest VIDEOS and I see you in my next blog post!

Paula Rose Parish

How a lifestyle Change can give you Courage or Break you – freedom from Over-Thinking

Mindfulness changes everything during a life change. Mindfulness taught me that my thoughts are not reality – they’re just thoughts. They’re passing mental activity. It’s what I do with them, or allow them to do is what counts. Harnessing your thoughts, especially when going through a huge life change- can change your life!

Do you spend much of your time overthinking things? Well, stop! You’re not doing much for your mental health, and you’re wasting your precious time and energy. Mindfulness helps us to stop over-thinking and cultivates balance and bliss. We become aware of our triggers and learn to pause so that we may respond, not react. Change is not always easy, especially unwelcome change. 

In this post I want to share with you how tour reaction to change can make you happy or unhappy. This is not the whole story but a snippet from my new book about Holistic Living which features mindfulness and issues around mental health. I am in process of writing it. It will be published and made available to you later in the year – so keep a look out for that!

 Change is all about us these days, and our reality is vastly different from a year ago. Suddenly we all have become very vulnerable. The world is experiencing an unprecedented catastrophe. Collectively, we weep and grieve. The worldwide pandemic of the Coronavirus (COVID-19) is still a reality for us all. This unforeseen disaster has swiftly taken the lives of loved ones, leaving the grieving disillusioned and struggling to make sense of it all. During the government-imposed lockdown, people lost livelihoods, assets, and social freedoms. The economy, families and marriages were all under great strain. People living together every day and night, with no respite, has caused domestic abuse to rise sharply across the world. Families lived in fear of loved ones who were meant to care for and protect them. Basic daily needs became increasingly challenging to meet, and many others became homeless. We stayed home to stay safe and protect the NHS while daily routines and lifestyles were turned upside down. Restricted freedom of movement caused much psychological strain, and people felt hemmed in. Sadly, for some, suicide was the only way out. Change and the losses incurred have been incalculable, unbearable, and extraordinary. Every human being on the planet shared a sense of unspeakable loss, collective grief, and we are left bereaved. Nothing will be the same again. What will your future look like?

Your reaction to Change can Make or Break you. 

Change changes everything. It can make you feel like you’re are trapped inside a tomb; at least it feels like it. I feel trapped, unable to find a way out. It’s dark, unwelcoming and very lonely. You feel that No one understands, and you can barely understand it yourself; all you know it hurts, you’re afraid, and you desperately want a way out. Can you relate? Change, mainly if it’s unwelcome, can make you feel broken.

However, Change can be a liberating, happy experience. It can usher in a planned adventure or an unexpected one. Even if it’s unwelcome, Change can open your world view and help you to grow as a person. How change affects you, depends entirely upon your mind set. Is your mindset- your outlook negative or positive?

What are you going to go for today – negative or positive ?

I want to live my life to the full, making it count for something positive. I want to help people and to do that, I must first learn how to help myself, then I have something positive to glean from to offer to others.

Your future begins in your thoughts, decisions, reactions, and actions. My passion for helping others in their well- being while making the Mind, Body. Spirit connection. As a person of faith, for me, it also begins with my faith in Christ.

We need to put first things first, so today, let’s deal with the Mind because that’s where our life structure is created. We care and maintain for our material possessions, but often we neglect to care for and maintain our mind’s health. Is your mind full of unruly thoughts, or are they ordered and functional?

 When we plan to take a journey of some kind, we take time to prepare. 

We are savvy travellers, so we ensure that we have our navigation tools in hand, ensuring that they work as they should. We then become familiar with them before we get on the road. The visit to the fuel station guarantees that we will complete our journey. If we don’t, there is a good chance of getting lost, taking a detour, or not getting to our intended destination at all. Now we have a goal, we have a plan, we are ready to begin our journey. Approach your thought life the same way. You want Change to MAKE you and not break you, and you need to gather your thoughts to decide where you want to go in your life’s journey.  

I am a child of the 50s and have seen a lot of life. I’ve lived and worked in four countries and visited a whole lot of others. I’ve experienced much tragedy, but also triumph, and a whole heap of self-growth. The journey through life, from the very beginning to end, make us who we are. One thing I know that when my thought life has been unruly it has bee detrimental to my whole being. The outcomes aren’t pretty and if one is wise, one does not want to repeat that experience.

An Unruly Thought life is Detrimental to your Health 

Dr Travis Bradberry, the co-author of the book Emotional Intelligence 2.0, points out that the average person has 70,000 thoughts each day, and if you don’t learn to organize them, they have the potential to wreak havoc on your productivity. I would add that they can wreak havoc with your life generally. When you succumb to unruly thoughts, your mind becomes disorganized, and the more you Over-Think, on intrusive thoughts, the more power you give them. The more power you give them, the more effects will manifest in your body, mind and Spirit- in other words, your whole life!

Dr Bradberry further points out that ……..

“In a recent study conducted at the National Institute on Aging, it was found that allowing your mind to be disorganized doesn’t just feel bad, it’s also actually bad for you. A disorganized mind leads to high stress, chronic negativity, and impulsivity. These states stifle productivity and contribute to a slew of health problems, including weight gain, heart disease, sleep problems, and migraine headaches.” (2015, weforum.org/ways-to-organize-your-mind-for-maximum-productivity)

Do you want to happily live with those kinds of physical effects ?

If you don’t- then watch out for my next blog post, and I will give you a  Few tips on Structuring your thoughts to successful living.

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If you have found this article helpful, please Like, Comment, Follow and Share. If feel you would like further support, please contact me. Details of How to get in touch with me is found in the top menu on my home page.

If feel you would like further support, please contact me. Details of How to get in touch with me is found in the top menu on my home page.

 HEAD OVER TO YOU TUBE AND CATCH UP WITH MY VIDEOS and I see you in my next blog post!

Paula Rose Parish

Coping with loss at Christmas Time

There is Nothing Good about Grief, particularly at Christmas time. When grief strikes at the heart, the effects send us reeling into bereavement. We are drawn into a vortex of loss, and it can feel like that we cannot escape. This experience is familiar to us all, vortex of loss, and we get hurt. Sometimes our grief is left unresolved. What can you do when When grief strikes at the heart What happens when you find yourself in one of the darkest periods of your life which can feel like the valley of the shadow of death? During COVID-19 pandemic we have suffered loss, changing our lives forever. How can you cope when your whole life is turned upside down and all that is familiar and held dear is There is Hope-?


I have written a book for the Bereaved called- Nothing Good about Grief . If you are a person of faith, or no faith, or somewhere in between, this book is a little ray of light and hope. Perhaps you are supporting someone whom you know is grieved, or just want to research the topic, then this book is for you. Like everyone else on the planet, I have experienced the dark valley of mourning.

Change is all about us these days, and our reality is vastly different from a few months ago. Suddenly we all have become very vulnerable. The world is experiencing an unprecedented catastrophe. Collectively, we weep and grieve. The worldwide pandemic of the Coronavirus (COVID-19) is still a reality for us all. This unforeseen disaster has swiftly taken the lives of loved ones, leaving the grieving disillusioned and struggling to make sense of it all. During the government-imposed lockdown, people lost livelihoods, assets, and social freedoms. The economy, families and marriages were all under great strain. People living together every day and night, with no respite, has caused domestic abuse to rise sharply across the world. Families lived in fear of loved ones who were meant to care and protect them. Basic daily needs became increasingly challenging to meet, and many others became homeless. We stayed home to stay safe, while daily routines and lifestyles were turned upside down. Restricted freedom of movement caused much psychological strain, and people felt hemmed in. Sadly, for some, suicide was the only way out. The losses have been incalculable, unbearable, and extraordinary. Every human being on the planet shared a sense of unspeakable loss, collective grief, and we are left bereaved. Nothing will be the same again. What will the future look like? The good news is that all is not lost.


There is Hope– Within the beautiful images of the 23rd Psalm, we will find the way forward and by applying its truth’s we have a sure and certain hope for a happy future. Through all the grief and pain, the Shepherd is walking with you, leading you on the right path to recovery. Grief is a natural reaction to loss. Bereavement is the process we go through when we grieve. Being a member of humanity means we walk through dark valleys throughout our lives. As described in Psalm 23, some of those valleys may feel like we are passing through death itself, dramatically changing our reality forever.

We try to express to others how we are feeling. Careworn, we fail to find the words that accurately describe our pain. No one can take away our grief. We feel alone. The devastation of our anguish is not apparent but is visible to the heart. Finding a pathway through can be complicated. There is certainly Nothing Good about Grief! My book will help you to understand and articulate what you are experiencing, and to come to terms with what is happening. The thoughts and ideas I present are the results of forty years of my personal and professional experience and theological understanding. When we are grieving a weighty book is challenging to cope with; therefore, I have written it as an easy read.

Part One is the preamble to later sections. Do not skip through this because this will prepare you for your journey.Part Two is devoted to defining grief and bereavement, understanding what the symptoms of three phases of grief are, and why we feel as we do.Part Three supplies a three-phased guide of recovery and discovering pathways into the new light of day. Part Four provides simple ways to recovery through reflections and guidelines. Part Five will help you make the adjustments you need and assist you on your journey, keeping you on the path to maintain your recovery.


From a therapeutic point of view, to help with grief recovery, I offer a Phased Approach because no one grieves in the same way as you do. Your bereavement is particular to how you feel and react to your grief. I see the term Phase as a statement of hope. The symptoms of grief outlined here in this book are well documented. However, the difference is that I have developed the phased approach because it is flexible, while using Psalm 23 as a guide. A phase is a period in your life, it is fleeting, it does not last. The symptoms of your grief I have outlined are Shock, Suffering and Anger/resentment. As you move through these into recovery, these symptoms will not last. You will eventually fully recover to enjoy life again. A phase denotes qualities that refer to time, a stage and flexibility, softness, and gracefulness. It is not fixed or rigid and can be adapted to each need. On the other hand, the process or step method is the opposite of that of the phased approach. It does not allow for individuality, fundamentally inflexible with a specified way of doing things for everyone. I see the three phases as a prescription of care, in the sense of a remedy and will bring you through to recovery. And like any prescription, the right dose is required for recovery. If you take more than is prescribed, the effects will be damaging. If you do not take enough, the remedy will be ineffectual. If you take someone else’s dose, there will be a problem. For each person, the dosage is different depending on a whole host of factors. That is why each prescription has only your name on it. The three phases are the same, they have your name on it. Utilizing the phased approach, instead, of following steps, or a process method is more realistic, so you can move at your own pace and just far more darn right kinder!

For over 40 years, and over several countries, I have worked as a church leader and professional counsellor. I have had the privilege of helping hundreds of hurting people through the dark valley of grief, into recovery. Nothing Good About Grief is available on Amazon, on this web site you will find a links to the UK Amazon. I have many followers from around the world so, if you are from another country, just Put the book title and my name- Paula Rose Parish- in the Amazon browser and you’ll be sure to find it. If you cant. Contact me and I can make arrangements to get a book sent you.

If you need Counselling, I am available for Telephone or Online Therapy.

We will journey together while learning that you have a Shepherd who leads you on. Your Shepherd who understands, and weeps for your pain, is calling you into His love and mercy.

Every Blessing

Paula Rose- Parish