How to Reduce Your Stress

One of the blights of humanity is frustration. We get frustrated when we don’t get what we want or what we think we deserve. It seems that we’re a living contradiction. We really are our own worst enemy, working at cross purposes against our own best interest. We want meaning, purpose, and peace of mind, but we aren’t ready to strive or sacrifice for it. Why? Because human beings are forever seeking that kind of thing through enjoyment, which is temporal by nature. 

 Pleasure is a good thing, and we need to have some fun; however, it’s not the be-all, end-all that we imagine it to be, and we become disappointed with our life and can’t put our finger on why. Maybe it’s about expectations, and when those expectations are not met, we become very disappointed. For example, when we are having fun, and the pleasure we feel comes to an end, we want to chase after it, trying to create familiar feelings of joy. Sometimes we try to recreate experiences at a considerable cost to ourselves; we try to convert pleasure into something permanent.

When life goes wrong, we try to fix it by increasing the feel-good factor and strive to make it stay with us, but we just can’t do it. When we are frustrated, we search for ways to make ourselves happy, and often unwisely so. No matter how hard we try, we cannot make what is temporary permanent, and we cannot make what is imagined real. We can’t get back our loved one who is gone, the job that fell through our fingers is in the past, or even the children who have become adults and now live their own lives many miles from us. Also, it’s worth noting here that the COVID-19 pandemic has taken its devastating toll, and we will never get back what we lost.  

Several hundred years ago, along with other religions, Christianity began engaging the West in Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction. Although it was not named as such, that is precisely what it is, the aim and objective and results being the same. Within the act mindfulness practice, if one removes the idea of God, it still works. However, I prefer to still relate to God as far as mindfulness goes because it enhances not only my mind and body but also my spiritual person.

The scientific evidence to date of the success of mindfulness to enhance human life is overwhelming, and for those interested in their wellness, we cannot ignore it. Various professional disciplines and social movements, such as medicine and health care, psychology and brain science, and education at all levels, the law, business, leadership, and much more, enhance their practice by inserting mindfulness.

 Today’s mainstream medicine is developing an ever-growing interest in mindfulness-based intervention, such as Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT). Mindfulness is something we can practice for peace of mind and a way of relieving a wide range of chronic medical conditions. It is much like snowmelt flowing inevitably downhill from a high mountain source, flowing around obstacles, finding many pathways under the gentle tug of gravity, and ultimately merging into major rivers systems. The gravitational pull is the promise of liberation from suffering and the potential safe harbour. As human beings prepare for the awakening and embodying of wellbeing, greater wisdom and wise action in the conduct of our individual lives so we may peacefully carry ourselves in the world as a species. In other words, mindfulness can become a normal and natural way to live your life, and the feeling of wellbeing is inevitable. Living a mindful life as Jesus Christ did would not end our frustrations but the beginning of successfully managing them. 

Jesus gave us the answer to our frustrations and said don’t chase after things that are here today and gone tomorrow, but rather, strive for eternal things. Eternal things are more satisfying, like top quality peace, joy, and love, that only God can supply. Mindfulness can help us to pursue eternal things naturally and consistently.

Trying to hold onto relationships or things that are gone will leave you frustrated and keep you grieving for as long as you hold onto them. All human relationships, albeit long term, are temporal and subject to the joys and pains of this life; our lives are so fragile and short. The only permanent relationship and forever is a relationship with God offers to us through Jesus Christ.  

The nature of my work is that I aim to empower others with education and motivation to help them make for themselves a purposeful and happy life. In addition, I enjoy helping others to set wellness goals and then provide resources, helping you determine which changes would make the most significant impact on your health.

Thank you for visiting me here; I hope this post was helpful. 

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Remember to Live Life on Purpose

Virtual hugs, I look forward to your visit to my next blog post.

 Paula Rose Parish💗

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#100 How to “wait” on God, to “hope” in Him

  Lets Celebrate! this is my 100 Blog article ! I get feedback how much these articles are helpful to you which spurs my on to keep writing.

The Bible  readings below encourage us to keep trusting God even when we a tired and weary. These truths that should bolster our Faith. We are waiting in hope for God’s salvation from this pandemic. Are you lockdown weary? I certainly am!! Although it seems to be over by now, and no more lock downs are in the pipeline, its has left me feeling exhausted.

When we feel exhausted and just plain worn out feeling that we can’t go on we need reminders to wait on God, and to hope in Him. When we do, our strength is renewed. By our own resources, we will never achieve total satisfaction or serenity. Trusting in God produces confident expectations which gives us a meaningful life.

Isaiah closes this chapter with words of enormous meaning and encouragement which shows that he understands deep despair. Some were complaining about God; others had given up and were resigned to their fate. They were sitting–despondent and weeping–by the waters of Babylon. In their minds, God had ceased to care. God had not given up on them; they were not abandoned. To all who’ve lost hope, Isaiah cries out… “Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary.”…We do, and often. We may be on the verge of giving up- we cry, “I’m down and out!”.

That’s when we need a reminder to “wait” on God, to “hope” in Him. When we do, our strength will be renewed. By our own resources, we will never achieve satisfaction or serenity. Trust in God produces confident expectations and meaningful life. We need to recall God’s actions in the past so that we may trust His providence for the future.

Part of our problem is that we’re time-bound; God is not. He is “the everlasting God.” God belongs to eternity; He is outside of time, not limited by time, so He sees the beginning and the end. We can face tomorrow knowing that God’s already been there in our future- exciting!

God “gives strength to the weary.” We grow tired and discouraged, yet God provides all we need.

God “gives power to the weak.” The word “power” is related to the Hebrew word for “bone”. Our bones hold us together, and so the image is one of durability and stability. 

If we trust purely in ourselves, we will faint and fall…when we hope in the Lord, we find the strength to carry on. Trust enables us to “renew our strength”, verse 31. The word “renew” means “to exchange”, as in taking off old clothes and putting on new. “We exchange our weakness for God’s power”. God alone sees the big picture, and it takes Faith to trust that He has all things under control, and Faith assures us that God is up to something good!

A Psalm – 147:1-12, 21

Hallelujah! How good it is to sing praises to our God! *
how pleasant it is to honour him with praise!

The Lord rebuilds Jerusalem; he gathers the exiles of Israel. He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds. He counts the number of the stars and calls them all by their names. Great is our Lord and mighty in power; there is no limit to his wisdom. The Lord lifts up the lowly but casts the wicked to the ground. Sing to the Lord with thanksgiving; make music to our God upon the harp. He covers the heavens with clouds and prepares rain for the earth; He makes grass to grow upon the mountains and green plants to serve mankind.10 He provides food for flocks and herds and for the young ravens when they cry.11 He is not impressed by the might of a horse; he has no pleasure in the strength of a man.12 But the Lord has pleasure in those who fear him, in those who await his gracious favour. Hallelujah!

OT Reading – Isaiah 40:28-31 Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint and strengthens the powerless. Even youths will faint and be weary, and the young will fall exhausted; but those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.

The Epistle – 1 Corinthians 9:16-23If I proclaim the gospel, this gives me no ground for boasting, for an obligation is laid on me, and woe to me if I do not proclaim the gospel! For if I do this of my own will, I have a reward; but if not of my own will, I am entrusted with a commission. What then is my reward? Just this: that in my proclamation I may make the gospel free of charge, so as not to make full use of my rights in the gospel.

For though I am free with respect to all, I have made myself a slave to all, so that I might win more of them. To the Jews I became as a Jew, in order to win Jews. To those under the law I became as one under the law (though I myself am not under the law) so that I might win those under the law. To those outside the law I became as one outside the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law) so that I might win those outside the law. To the weak I became weak, so that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all people, that I might by all means save some. I do it all for the sake of the gospel, so that I may share in its blessings.

The Gospel Mark 1:29-39After Jesus and his disciples left the synagogue, they entered the house of Simon and Andrew, with James and John. Now Simon’s mother-in-law was in bed with a fever, and they told him about her at once. He came and took her by the hand and lifted her up. Then the fever left her, and she began to serve them. That evening, at sundown, they brought to him all who were sick or possessed with demons. And the whole city was gathered around the door. And he cured many who were sick with various diseases and cast out many demons; and he would not permit the demons to speak, because they knew him. In the morning, while it was still very dark, he got up and went out to a deserted place, and there he prayed. And Simon and his companions hunted for him. When they found him, they said to him, “Everyone is searching for you.” He answered, “Let us go on to the neighbouring towns, so that I may proclaim the message there also; for that is what I came out to do.” And he went throughout Galilee, proclaiming the message in their synagogues and casting out demons.

Until next time- Live Life on Purpose in Hope. Faith. Love,

My Blog posts are part of Paula Rose Parish Ministries for your encouragement.

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#98 Anger Management: 5 Tips to tell if your anger is hurting others.

The story is told that in the latter 1800’s, Alfred Lord Tennyson an English aristocrat, invited a Russian nobleman to his estate. And early one morning this nobleman took off with dogs & guns & servants to go hunting on Tennyson’s vast estate.

At mid-day he returned & Lord Tennyson asked him how he did. He answered, “Not very well. I shot two peasants.” Lord Tennyson thought for a moment & then said, “No, we pronounce it with a ‘ph’ here. It is ‘pheasants.’ You shot two pheasants.”

“No,” the nobleman replied, “I shot two peasants. They were insolent towards me, so I shot them”!

 Now we smile in disbelief at a story like that. But last May  a driver in Swansea South Wales UK, abused  another driver a woman in road rage. He was charged with verbal assault. When asked why he was angry and abusive, he said it was because she was black.

That happened in Swansea,  But stories like that have popped up all over the country. People becoming abusive due to their uncontrolled mindless anger.

 Now, of course, none of us  would do anything like that. But have you ever lost your temper? Do you ever do things you wish you hadn’t done, or say things you wish you had never said? I can certainly say YES to that!

Well, the Bible has something to say about overcoming anger. Proverbs 19:11 says, “A man’s wisdom gives him patience. It is to his glory to overlook an offense.”

If someone offends you, & if you are a person of wisdom (God’s wisdom) then you can easily overlook it, & not allow the situation to become a major event that overwhelms you, causing rage within you.

 I discovered that there are 4 types of anger dealt with in the Bible.

First of all, there is sudden anger. The Bible says that sudden anger is to be controlled.

Secondly, there is sinful anger. The Bible says that sinful anger is to be condemned.

Thirdly, there is stubborn anger. Stubborn anger is to be conquered.

Finally, there is sanctified anger. And sanctified anger is to be channeled.

 So let’s look at each of those 4 types of anger.

SUDDEN ANGER IS TO BE CONTROLLED

First of all there is sudden anger, & the Bible says that sudden anger is to be controlled.

Proverbs 14:17 says, “A quick-tempered man does foolish things.” We already knew that because we’ve experienced that in our own lives. We may blame our quick temper on our red hair. Or we may blame it on our heritage. After all, we’re Irish or something like that. We may even be proud of it.

But the bottom line is, if we have a short fuse, we’re going to do a lot of foolish things. When we lose our temper we’ll say things we know we shouldn’t have said, & do things that we’re going to be sorry for later on.

Next, Proverbs 15:18 says, “A hot tempered man stirs up dissension.” That simply means that if you have a short fuse, if you’re always losing your temper, if you’re walking around with a chip on your shoulder, if you’re just looking for somebody to say something that will irritate you, then you’re going to leave a trail of hurt feelings & unhappiness behind you.

Will Rogers was a famous American actor in the 1940s and a believer in Jesus Christ. Will said, “Whenever you fly into a rage, you seldom make a safe landing.” And he is right.

Chuck Swindoll an American author said, “I got so angry that I gave him a piece of my mind. And it was a piece that I couldn’t afford to lose.”

The writer of Proverbs said, “A hot temper stirs up dissension.”

Proverbs 18:13 says, “He who answers before listening – that is his folly & his shame.” He is talking about jumping to conclusions. We hear just a little bit of what is said, & we instantly jump to a conclusion, & oftentimes it is the wrong conclusion.

Have you heard about the dog named “August” who was always trying to chase a mule named “Conclusion?” One day he jumped at Conclusion & bit him, & Conclusion kicked back at August. And that was the last day of August. Think about that for a moment.

Sometimes we jump to conclusions, & King Solomon who is mentioned in the Holy Bible, says that jumping to conclusions before knowing the facts is to our folly & our shame.

Proverbs 19:19 says, “A hot-tempered man must pay the penalty.” We’re being told that almost every day. Doctors tell us that losing our temper consistently brings about high blood pressure, dryness of mouth, & a fast-beating heart. It could even bring pre-mature death.

A hot temper could also mean loss of family & friends. The penalties of losing our temper are many.

So the Bible says, “If you have a sudden temper, then you need to control it.” But how can we do that?

You say, ” I just can’t control my temper. It gets away from me.” But you absolutely can. Have you ever found yourself engaged in a heated discussion with your voice getting louder & your words becoming more rapid? Then the telephone rings & you say, “Hello.” very calmly ? If you have- then you can control your temper.

So we need to recognize that we have a problem with temper. As long as we deny it, as long as we blame it on our parents or short-fuse or whatever we choose to blame it on, we’ll never improve.

God is there to help us if we ask. Confess your problem to God & ask for His help.

Pray something like this “Lord, I’m beginning to lose my temper, & I’ve done it many times before. Please help me see what is causing it to happen, & then help me to overcome it.”

The Bible teaches that when the Holy Spirit guides our life, that one of the fruits of the spirit is self control. And if you have a sudden temper, you need to control it.

SINFUL ANGER IS TO BE CONDEMNED

The second type of anger discussed in scripture is sinful anger. Not all anger is sinful, & we’ll talk about that in just a minute. But some anger is. So let me give you a test to help you determine whether your anger is sinful or not.

A. In Matthew 5:21, Jesus says, “You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, `Do not murder, & anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment.”

Now that passage tells us some things about anger that should help us realize when our anger is sinful & when it is not.

Notice first of all that it says, “Anyone who is angry with his brother.” Now if you’re a brother or sister to someone it indicates that you are a member of the same family, whether a domestic family or the family of God.

If we’re brothers & sisters, we ought to be lifting each other up, supporting & helping each other. We should not spend our time being angry at one another. If we do, the Bible says its a sin.

The King James Version speaks about being angry at your brother “without a cause.” If we are angry & don’t have a legitimate reason for being angry, then this tells us that our anger is sinful.

Then if you’re angry at your brother, that indicates that you are focusing your anger toward that person, instead of trying to love them. We should never focus our anger on people, but rather on the sins they commit.

Jesus was never angry at people, but He was angry at their sins. He loved everybody that’s why he died for everybody. So look beyond the person. We must love the person, but hate their sin.

So if you’re angry , if you’re focusing on a person, then that means that your anger is sinful.

REVENGE

Now in Romans 12:19 Paul says, “Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: `It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.”

So the third test of our anger is this: Is it anger that seeks revenge? Are we always trying to get even? The Bible teaches that God is the one who has the right of vengeance. Not us. “Vengeance is mine,” says the Lord. We don’t have the right to repay anyone. But rather, turn that over to God.

So if our anger is geared towards seeking revenge, then it is very definitely sinful anger.

If it is vengeful, then most likely it is also an anger that is cherished.

Remember what Jesus said to the man who was by the pool, waiting to be healed, & he couldn’t get to the water soon enough? Jesus asked him, “Do you want to be healed?” Important question!

There are a lot of people who enjoy being sick because of the attention it gets them. And there are a lot of people who love being angry for the same reason. They’ve been angry for years. Inside of them there is a boiling mass of anger. They are used to it, they think its normal to feel like that.

So if anger is cherished, it most certainly is sinful anger.

If it is a cherished anger it will also be an anger with an unforgiving spirit. And the secret to getting rid of anger is to be able to forgive. But if you can’t forgive, if you can’t release it, then it is a sinful anger.

So here are the 5 tests to tell whether or not our anger is sinful anger.

1. Is it anger directed towards a person?

2. Is it anger without a justifiable cause?

3. Is it anger that seeks vengeance?

4. Is it anger that is cherished?

5. Is it anger that has an unforgiving spirit?

If any of the answers to those questions is “yes,” then our anger is a sinful anger. And the Bible says that it is to be condemned.

If it is sinful, then we need to repent, to turn away from it, & allow God to forgive us of it so that we can become forgiving people, too.

STUBBORN ANGER IS TO BE CONQUERED

The third type of anger is stubborn anger. It is an anger that just stays there, day after day after day.

One of the classic passages that deals with anger begins in Ephesians 4:26. The KJV says, “Be ye angry, & sin not. Let not the sun go down on your wrath.” And the next verse says, “And do not give the devil a foothold.”

One day you go home & you’re angry. You’re carrying a chip on your shoulder, just waiting for someone to knock it off. Then your loved one says something you don’t particularly appreciate, & soon heated words are being exchanged. It really doesn’t amount to much, but you’re determined to get your way, & she/he is determined to get their way. So the argument continues.

The sun goes down & nighttime comes. Then in bed she/he faces one way & you face the other way, & you both make very sure that you don’t touch each other.

Do you realize what has happened? The Bible says that you have opened the door, & said, “Mr. Devil, come right on in. We’ll make you welcome here.”

Then in vs. 31, Paul mentions what happens when Satan begins to do his dirty work.

The first result is “bitterness.” You begin to think about all the bad things people do & say to you, all the insults, all of the inconsiderate things that go on.

Then Paul says, “After bitterness comes rage & anger.” “Rage” is bitterness boiling & bubbling inside of you. And “anger” is rage being expressed. It is no longer just inside you. Now you begin to kick the cat, & hit the wall. Now you begin to say all kinds of things, until finally it becomes “brawling,” which means “shouting loudly,” & “slander” or “insults.”.

And the end result of it all, Paul says, is “malice.” And “malice” means that you really desire to harm. That’s why we’re always reading about someone shooting his wife & turning the gun on himself. Because the ultimate end of stubborn anger is malice.

Paul said, “Here is the way to get rid of stubborn anger. Don’t let the sun go down on your wrath.” Vs. 32 says, “Be kind & compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

So first of all, there is sudden anger. And it must be controlled.

Then there is sinful anger. And it must be condemned.

Then there is stubborn anger. And it must be conquered.

SANCTIFIED ANGER MUST BE CHANNELED IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION FOR GOD

Finally, there is Sanctified anger. And that must be channeled in the right direction for God. Remember, Ephesians 4:26 says, “Be ye angry. . .” It is okay to be angry, but do not sin.

Read Mark 3:1-5. This is a passage deals with a situation in the life of Jesus that I think is very revealing. It says:

“Another time he went into the synagogue, & a man with a shriveled hand was there. Some of them were looking for a reason to accuse Jesus, so they watched him closely to see if he would heal him on the Sabbath. And Jesus said to the man with the shriveled hand, `Stand up in front of everyone.’”

“Then Jesus asked them, `Which is lawful on the Sabbath: to do good or to do evil, to save life or to kill?’ But they remained silent.”

“He looked around at them in anger &, deeply distressed at their stubborn hearts. . .” You see, the focus of His anger is their hearts. He is angry because of their stubborn hearts & their stubborn anger. The sun has gone down. The sun has come up. And the devil has established a foothold in their lives. And Jesus is angry at their stubborn anger.

Then Jesus said, “Stretch out your hand.” And he stretched it out, & his hand was completely restored.”

The Bible says that Jesus was tempted in all points, even as we are tempted, but He never sinned. So this passage teaches that Jesus became angry but it wasn’t sinful anger. It was sanctified anger, channeled anger, anger that has the right focus, & the right object.

Maybe an infusion of sanctified anger is the very thing that the church needs. To become angry at the corruption of the world. To become angry at the forces of evil. To become angry at pornography that reaches into every segment of society to corrupts it- the list goes on.

To become angry at the millions of abortions. To become angry at the increase in crime & murders & rapes. To become angry at the abuse of alcohol & drugs in our society. To become angry because there are millions of people who are dying & going to Christless graves.

It is time for the church to become angry, with a sanctified anger, a holy anger, that is channeled in the right places, and anger that springs a person into action.

There are all kinds of anger. And if you are wrestling with bad anger, God promises to give you victory, if you’ll let Him.

So be angry, but don’t sin. Don’t let the sun go down upon your wrath. Don’t allow the devil to have a foothold in your life. But channel that anger so it can begin to accomplish victories for Jesus.

I offer His invitation He stands ready & willing to come into your heart & into your life. If you’ll confess your faith in Him, & repent of your sins, & be faithful to him in Christian baptism, learn of Him and from Him. He has promised to forgive your sins.

If you are already a believer in Jesus, then I invite you to join with us in the ministry that God has given us here. Please support and pray for this ministry that people all over the world will come to know that God loves them and the saving knowledge of Christ our Lord.

Thank you for visiting me here; I hope this post was helpful.

If it was, please follow this blog you’ll find a button on the lower bottom right, and leave a comment with any questions or prayer requests

Virtual hugs, I look forward to your visit to my next blog post!

Paula Rose Parish

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#97 Does God rescue us from disaster? Answered prayer.

I’ve been reading Psalm 69 particularly versus 14 to 17, – ‘rescue me from the mire, don’t let me sink any deeper. Deliver me from my foes, from the murky depths. Prevent the flood waters from sweeping me away. Do not allow the ocean to engulf me, the pit to close its jaws around me. Lord, answer me, are you are good and merciful, in your boundless kindness, turn to me. I am in difficulty, do not conceal your face from me. Answer me speedily!’

In 20216 a plane disappeared and later found crashed in the Mediterranean Sea. Egypt’s air craft left the airport with so many souls on board, none of them knew that they all had only a short time to live. I know it leaves me cold and nervous to think about air travel now. I have travelled on hundreds of planes around the world; long and short haul, and I don’t really enjoy it, I don’t like sitting in crowned seats, and feeling like death warmed up when I get to my destination.  I only do it, because I want to get to a certain destination quickly. So, how does Psalms 69, play out in a situation where death is imminent through an accident, or indeed any other means? Does God rescue?

Christians can be overcome by disaster as much as anybody else. We can find ourselves in the wrong place at the wrong time. Yet we believe that God can deliver us in times of crisis, or help us through the situation, nonetheless. That’s certainly the conviction expressed in this Psalm above. 

David, who penned this psalm, was clearly confronted a desperate situation of some kind, from which he feared there may seemed to be no escape. Yet the fact that he ends the Psalm praising God, not to mention that later David became king, strongly suggests that his prayer was answered!

God does not appear in person, by stretching out his arm from heaven to strike down our enemies, nor does he lift us out of harm’s way. However, we believe God responds nonetheless, working through all kinds of people, in all kinds of surprising ways, to strengthen, support and deliver.

Let me encourage you today. We need to keep the faith in the face of adversity, and difficulty. We are unable to see the big picture, however, God is bigger than our circumstances and knows the beginning from the end so we can place our trust in God our father– always. Psalm 81 v7

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Virtual hugs, I look forward to your visit to my next blog post!

Paula Rose Parish

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How to Pray: Five Simple Steps to Centering Prayer.

Letting go and trusting God is not always an easy thing to do. The practice of contemplation prayer moves us steadily forward.

Staying in a relationship within the God the Holy Trinity, Father, Son and Holy Spirit means finding constant pleasure in Gods divine company. We connect by simply chatting humbly and lovingly without limiting the conversation in any way. Contemplative Prayer is also about listening for the Holy Spirit’s voice. This is especially important in times of temptation, sorrow, and even in times of unfaithfulness and other sins.

Pondering upon and enjoying God’s presence is contemplation. The way of contemplation is nonverbal. Unspoken words and cries of the heart become thought forms manifesting themselves before the throne room of God.

Contemplation was shortened into a simple modern method in the 1970s by three Trappist monks, William Menninger, Basil Pennington, and Abbot Thomas Keating.

This method of prayer is traditionally called Centering Prayer, which denotes focus, to be present with, and to find balance. It consists of responding to the Holy Spirit (Spirit of Christ) by consenting to God’s presence and action within.

 Centering Prayer helps to quieten our sensory faculties to cooperate with the gift of God’s presence. This wonderfully supports us to move from more active modes like a verbal prayer, to focusing and resting in silence before God, even for a few moments is revitalising. This highlights of this kind of prayer is that its easy to foster a friendship with God.

Centering Prayer also fosters a deep discipline which serves the relationship to grow.

Centering Prayer It is Trinitarian in its source, Christ-focused, and pastoral in its effects, and brings and builds together different communities in unity and faith.

There’s so much to say on this vital subject. You have learnt a little about this method of contemplation called centering prayer and prepared yourself for it. Okay now is the time to have a go!

Five Simple Steps to Centering Prayer 

1) set a timer for 10 mins

2) choose a sacred word as the symbol of your intent to give permission to God’s presence and action within. This sacred word can be anything that calms you and helps you to be still. It can be or Jesus, mar-an-atha (come here Lord)

My Word is Yahweh meaning, I AM who I AM which describes who God is.

3) sitting comfortably and with eyes closed, settle briefly, and silently introduce the sacred Word as the symbol of your consent to God’s presence and action within.

4) when you become aware of thoughts, return ever-so-gently to your sacred word.

5) at the end of the prayer period, remain in silence with eyes closed for a couple of minutes.

Make this a habit at least once a day. Soon you will feel comfortable, then increase to twice a day. With regularity, this will help you journey through the valley of grief. Over time it becomes habitual. Keep in mind that it doesn’t take away suffering but rather, takes away the fear of suffering, relieves stress and brings you closer to Father God.

You don’t have to think about God to be in God’s presence. God will never leave or forsake you but is always with you till the end of the earth, (Hebrews 13:5).

Thank you for visiting me here; I hope this post was helpful. If it was, please follow this blog, or leave a comment with any questions!

 If you feel you would like further support, please contact me. Details of How to get in touch with me are found in my home page’s top menu.

Virtual hugs, I look forward to your visit to my next blog post!

Paula Rose Parish

NEW Course is going Live on Udemy . Beginners Mindfulness Masterclass for Stress Relief – click here for more details. www.moonrosemindfulness.com

OR GO TO – https://www.udemy.com/course/the-mindfulness-stress-relief-master-class/?referralCode=1FA203E550AC769AC33A

Have you been let down? How to overcome disappointment.

You may have noticed that I haven’t written for a very long time for those who follow my blog regularly. Nor have I produced a newsletter. The reason for this is I have had a bathroom refurbishment and experienced many a difficulty with dealing with a rogue builder. I’ve also had computer problems and had to purchase another; hopefully, this one will be more reliable. The rogue builder started the work in May, made a terrible mess, and scammed me out of money. Finally, I found a fantastic builder called Afan Property and they completed their work today. They rescued the situation, and they did a fantastic job! During the turmoil, I moved away from my usual writing schedule. Dealing with the rogue builder has been of great stress and disappointment to me, and this is the theme upon which I am writing today. 

DISAPOINTMENT

One of the most complex problems in life I have personally found hardest to bear is the feeling of disappointment. Disappointment comes where there is an expectation of something happening which does not occur. With disappointment comes a sick and dramatic feeling of sheer hopelessness, which manifests in the pit of one’s stomach.

Proverbs 13:12 ‘Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but it is a tree of life when the hope is fulfilled.’

 I have come through many a toil and storm as I know you have. I have shared some of my story with you here in my blog, so be sure to look back to earlier posts. I am sure we agree that facing the disappointments that life throws at us is undoubtedly one of the hardest things to make sense of and cope with. 

I am the type of person who wants to believe in and trust the word of others. So, when that person, for whatever reason, does not adhere to their word, in particular if its life changing, I become grossly disappointed. I feel sick to my stomach and leaves all my hopes dashed.

 In my 60+ years living on this earth, if I received £1 for every time I was let down, I would indeed be a wealthy woman! The feelings of disappointment have made me even more determined as a human being to ensure that I stick to my word. I do not want to be responsible for anyone else giving up hope. 

Are you dealing with disappointment? If you are, I know how you feel. The feeling of hopelessness is awful. I have pretty recently felt that way, and one should not live their life in a state of hopelessness, as some do. 

 I am diligent to the best of my ability, not hold a grudge, and I ensure that I forgive. However, being human, I have not always stuck to my word either; I try to bring hope for most of the time rather than dash it.

Unfortunately, I have found some people regularly make it a lifestyle of not sticking to their word, they promise you things, and for the most part, stick to it. But, then as they become more familiar with you, they become less and less reliable.

It may be a person close to you who has disappointed you. It may be somebody who works for you or a service someone has provided. Perhaps your boss promised you a raise or a promotion, which doesn’t come to fruition. A work colleague may have let you down. Maybe it’s someone you’re in a relationship with who has made false promises, leaving you feeling used. Whatever it may be, disappointment hold sway when somebody else does not fulfil their promise, dashing your hopes entirely, To be sure, disappointment can be pretty overwhelming at times.

This poses a question in my mind,  how can one be rid of the feeling of disappointment and move on?

THE REMEDY

First of all, you must not play the blame game.

When you focus on blame and criticism of the person who has let you down, it makes the matter a lot worse for you. It is an endless merry go round that you can’t get off, stirring your emotions afresh every time you bring it to remembrance. You must stop the blaming and actively seek justice through the right channels. Seeking true justice is not vengeance and will end the matter, whereas blaming and vengeance will keep it going for years. You need to heal yourself of the worry and disappointment, and you cannot do that if you have a bad attitude towards those who have disappointed you. Why?

This is because your emotions will reflect directly upon you and your future. In short- your attitudes eventually become you. What you focus on today will be your reality tomorrow. Therefore, no matter how awful the situation is for you today, don’t hang onto it; otherwise, resentment will build. Resentment will grow to a grudge and then hate, and then you will have a deeper problem on your hands in the future.

Do you think it’s worth hanging on to a grudge against the person who has disappointed you? Jesus tells us that it’s not- he clearly says that we must first forgive for us to be forgiven.

If we hold a grudge, how can we expect that no one in the world will hold a grudge against us? How can we expect others to be forgiving towards us if we hold something towards them? The law of sowing and reaping come into play here. 

Alternatively, if we refuse to hold a grudge, are quick to forgive and are quick to put it out of our minds, we can expect others to be the same towards us. And indeed, God will be the same towards us because this is what is promised to us in the Holy Bible

SCAMMED

I have been scammed, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. This so-called builder scammed me; however, I do not hold a grudge. On the contrary, I have forgiven and pray for him, although I am seeking justice and will move on, and learnt some valuable lessons along the way.

THE TAKEAWAY

If you can take anything from my experience, accept that there always will be evil people who will leave you disappointed.

Accept that they are people who will disappoint you unintentionally.

Accept that the disappointment will hurt you for a time, but there is healing.

Accept that if you do not forgive, you tie God’s hands to forgive you.

Accept that holding a grudge and even taking revenge is a no-win way to play it.

Accept that the blame game will leave you sour and even more disappointed.

These are just some of the things to consider. However, there is much more that can be said that this short blog post muster.

It is worth remembering that when you are grossly disappointed, give it to the Lord Jesus, ask him to give you the power and strength to bless and forgive.

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Thank you for visiting me here; I hope this post was helpful. If it was, please subscribe, or leave a comment with any questions!

 If you feel you would like further support, please contact me. Details of How to get in touch with me are found in my home page’s top menu.

Virtual hugs, I look forward to your visit to my next blog post!

Paula Rose Parish

NEW Course is going Live on Udemy . Beginners Mindfulness Masterclass for Stress Relief – click here for more details. www.moonrosemindfulness.com

OR GO TO – https://www.udemy.com/course/the-mindfulness-stress-relief-master-class/?referralCode=1FA203E550AC769AC33A

Mindfulness is NOT a religion – BUT is a skill that can be easily learned and practiced daily.

Our human existence does not allow us to live completely stress-free. Mindfulness will help you with the stresses of life and help you to find relief safely and naturally. Mindfulness is not a religious practice but a skill, that with enough practice can become second nature. In daily life, it can be as simple as noticing the shapes of the clouds or counting your breaths, learning to observe the thoughts that come into your mind and letting them go. This trains you to be present in the moment. recognise your thoughts but realise what is at hand. This can be done anywhere, at the beach, on the commute to work or even in the bathroom.

 To function independently in this life, you need to be well. Wellness is a big, important goal; however, it can feel overwhelming at times. 

 The busyness of life can make it hard for you to prioritise self-care. The more you think about what you “should” be doing differently, the more daunting wellness can seem. Holistic health is about taking responsibility for your own health. Mindfulness helps you to get there. 

If you are doing something destructive to your healthy- being, recognise it for what it is, and endeavour to replace it with healthier habits of mind, body, and spirit.

So, what is holistic health and wellbeing? It’s about honouring the mind-body connection and treating the whole person as the precious gift it is. 

Mindfulness and Holistic Living

The way you live significantly affects your mind and vice versa. So, to think about Mindfulness, one must also look at the way they are living. Mindfulness means being more intentional in your choices of good habits. As I have pointed out in my past blogs and books, there are also many additional physical and emotional benefits to a mindfulness lifestyle.

Mindfulness is so easy to implement. It is low cost, can be practised anywhere, and only requires your time and consistency.

Despite the ease of implementing Mindfulness, like any new habit, it can be overwhelming for beginners. Where should you start? Should you implement a daily meditation session, mindful eating, mindful exercise, or mindful walking? The answer is you should start small.

The Daily Mindfulness Habit

The detail of creating well-habits is dealt with in another lecture. However, Mindfulness is a beautiful way to conquer thoughts that produce stress, particularly in the first stages when you feel overwhelmed with the damaging assault of thoughts.

 Mindfulness enables you to become self-aware, and that awareness is the underlying truth about yourself and who you are. Jesus says- you shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free. The truth only sets you free if you are willing to accept it and do something with it, and only then it leads to your freedom. Becoming self-aware through daily mindfulness practices leads you to freedom little bit by little bit. Your mind will be set free, thus your lives free to be what we are meant to be and what we are supposed to do in this life.

Mindful means being more intentional in your day-to-day choices, benefitting your physical and emotional wellbeing.

Scientific Research shows that the Mindfulness habit has shown to: 

· Reduce rumination and overthinking. 

· Decrease stress by lowering levels of the stress hormone cortisol. 

· Improve memory, concentration, and performance. 

· Help maintains emotional stability. Improve relationship happiness. 

· Reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression. Improve sleep.

· protect against mental illness. Provide pain relief. 

· With the repetition of mindfulness activities, you will create fundamental brain function and structure changes. 

· Just as exercise habits will change your body, mindfulness habits will reshape your mind. 

If you are interested to learn how to care for yourself mindfully, purchase my new course at a special discount launch price in Late July 2021 on Udemy. 

If you want some ideas and tools to how to get relief from stress or do not know how to start your holistic journey, check out the course – subscribe free to this blog to get updates on this!

I am a Professionally trained with a Master of Arts in Counselling in Professional Development and Coaching, With over 40 years of experience, I will support you to maximize your full potential. You will identify your goals and receive balanced teaching, great tips, guidance and encouragement, throughout your journey to becoming a better version of yourself. Let’s Talk – contact me, and see what the next step is right for you! 

If you have found this article helpful, please visit my website- address below, SUBSCIBE, Comment, Follow and Share. If you feel you would like further support, please contact me. 

My Blog posts are for your encouragement.

Thank you for reading this newsletter, and I see you in my next time!

Paula Rose Parish

How to get through and recover from Burnout of Mind, Body & Spirit and Stay Sane!

I want to share with you in this post,  how I get through Burn out and stay sane. This is not the whole story but a snippet from my new book about Holistic Living, which features Mindfulness and issues around mental health. I am in the process of writing it. It will be published and made available to you later in the year – so keep a lookout for that!

Also, If you struggle to make self-care a priority or do not know how to start your holistic-mindfulness journey, check out my course, which will be available in the Summer of 2021- subscribe free to this blog to get updates on this! I am starting a new blog soon just dedicated to Holistic  mindfulness, so keep a look out for that going live!

Before the sun arise to greet the new day, I kneel once more upon my  bedside rug with my hands over my eyes, and pray: “Oh, Lord, let me feel at one with you, myself, and others. Let me perform my tasks with the motivation of hope, faith and love. May  grace be in my thoughts, actions and speech this day”.

To pray this prayer daily, is the only way I know to effectually get through and to recover from burn out.

My strength is so very  limited, but Gods strength is limitless, so I draw upon that in faith. I admire people who get through stuff all by themselves. They don’t seem to need God, people or any other intervention- they just get on with it successfully. But that’s not me. I know my weakness and limitations. I recognise that I  desperately  need the power of God in my life. The power of God is called the Holy Spirit who is part of the God head in Christ. The holy Spirit  is given to empowers us, to bring us through, so we can be witness of his love and grace.

That does not mean to say that I sit back and watch God magically work on my behalf. No Never!

But what I do is to submit myself in prayer like the one above, and go through my day knowing that I am not alone. Then I am diligent to learn and apply practical steps as listed below to help me. However,  the difference is that I go forward into my day Gods ability- in Gods power and strength to get through and recover from burn out.

How did I get burnt out if the first place if I trusted in God?

Well the answer is simple – I didn’t!

As a perfectionist, a high achiever, I expect far too much of myself. I don’t give my body, mind or spirit enough time out or flexibility in my tasks, it’s something I am still learning to do. God gives us time out, urging us to rest- it’s called the Sabbath. So having cleared that up, let’s have a little look at a few practical ways  to recover from and avoid burn out in the future.

1) Take the time to  pause and change direction by learning how you can help yourself overcome burnout and feel healthy and positive again.

FIRST-Adopt the three “R” approach:

Recognize. Watch for the warning signs of burnout. Be self-aware. Listen to your thoughts and words, notice you’re the way you approach actions.

Reverse. Undo the damage by seeking support and managing stress- this is what we are doing here now.

Resilience. Build your resilience to stress by taking care of your physical and emotional health.

SECOND – Learn strategies to do the three “3 R’s” that you are comfortable with.

In the next blog post I will list some strategies That I have found has helped me, and may be of help to you as well.

Thank you for visiting me here, I hope this post was helpful. If it was, I would love to hear from you. Feel free to contact me and share any thoughts you have. And if you enjoyed reading this blog, please support it by subscribing to my FREE newsletter and receive your FREE thankyou gift!

 If you feel you would like further support through prayer, counselling or coaching, please contact me. Details of How to get in touch with me is found in the top menu on my home page.

 HEAD OVER TO YOUTUBE AND CATCH UP WITH MY VIDEOS – it is Free! 

I look forward to your visit to my next blog post!

Paula Rose Parish

CLICK HERE—–.https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvdQ4NPTNfXSnwd3pimPh0g

What is Burnout? How you can recognise Extreme Stress Burnout Syndrome the Signs and Symptoms.

We all have ‘off’ days when we feel helpless, overloaded, or unappreciated. The alarm sounds and we reluctantly drag ourselves out of bed. however, If you feel like this most of the time, you may be burned out.

 Like you, I have experienced burnout many times in my life. It’s something that is insidious. You don’t notice it’s happening, It sneaks up on you and you are not aware of it until you just crash.

Being aware of what burnout is, and recognising the symptoms is half the battle won.

What is BURNOUT SYNDROME?

Burnout is exhaustion as a result of high levels of stress. Your mind, body and spirit can only handle feeling overworked and overwhelmed for so long. Your body will be tired, your emotions will be fraught. Your spirit( your inner core) will feel simply dried out.

Burnout will make you feel overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and unable to meet daily demands. As the stress continues, you begin to lose interest and motivation and the feeling of overwhelm takes hold.

In our modern society, we think that constantly living under stress is a ‘normal’ way to live. But I have news for you- it’s NOT!

Burn out left unchecked, may lead to a nervous/ mental breakdown. The problems are, that burnout happens gradually, therefore, you might not notice symptoms immediately. But once it takes hold, it can affect your ability to function across all aspects of your life.

SYMPTOMS OF BURNOUT

By no means is this is not a comprehensive list, and you may experience just a few or, many of these symptoms.

  • You may begin to feel less motivated since it seems like nothing you do really matters.
  • If you are experiencing burnout, you may view your living environment and/or your job as increasingly stressful and frustrating. 
  • You may develop a distrust, or disinterest in the people in your life, and may also feel emotionally distant and indifferent.
  • You may develop a distrust, or disinterest and your life in general.
  • You may feel detachment, and alone in the world.
  • Where once you were content with your life in general or work, but now You may feel resentful of the responsibilities and demands it imposes. 
  • Burnout may lead to physical symptoms, like headaches, muscle pain, and stomach-aches or intestinal issues, etc.
  •  Burnout causes people to feel drained, lack motivation, emotionally exhausted, unable to cope with the smallest of tasks.
  • Constant Tiredness is a symptom of burnout.
  • Difficulty in focusing one’s mind and concentrating and often lack creativity is also a symptom.
  • No zest for life, you feel like you are on a constant treadmill.
  • Every day is a struggle
  • Caring about your work or home life seems like a total waste of energy.
  • The majority of your day is spent on tasks you find either mind-numbingly dull or overwhelming.
  •  You may feel one step forward and 2 back and nothing you do makes a difference or is appreciated by others.
  • Lowered immunity 
  •  Frequent illnesses

Burnout may be the result of unrelenting stress, but it isn’t the same as too much stress. Stress can be a positive motivation tool. It may provide the metal fuel to forge forward. Stressed people can still get everything under control, to feel better.

Burnout, on the other hand, is about destructive, extreme unrelenting stressors. Being burned out means feeling empty and mentally exhausted, devoid of motivation, and beyond caring, unable to pull one socks up and get on with it.

People experiencing burnout often cannot see any hope of positive change in their situations. Burnout is a sense of being all dried up, wrung out, parched as a desert, in mind body and spirit. 

Burn-out shares some similar symptoms of mental health conditions, such as depression. Individuals with depression experience negative feelings and thoughts about all aspects of life, not just at work. Depression symptoms may also include a loss of interest in things, feelings of hopelessness, cognitive and physical symptoms as well as thoughts of ending one’s life to get some relief. You may not be depressed, but just burnt out. Once you rest and recover, the veil of gloom will lift and you will feel your old self again. If it does not lift- you may be clinically depressed. If this is the case- you must seek medical help!

In my next post, I will share some tips about how to recover from Burn-out

I want to share with you my Holistic journey. This post is not the whole story but a snippet from my new book about Holistic Living, which features Mindfulness and issues around mental health. It will be published and made available to you later in the year – so keep a lookout for that! If you struggle to make self-care a priority or do not know how to start your mindfulness journey, check out my course, which will be available in the Summer of 2021- subscribe free to this blog to get updates on this! Regardless of where you are on your journey, I hope you will find something useful here- if so, please let me know down in the comments. 

I hope this post was helpful. If it was, I would love to hear from you. Feel free to contact me and share any thoughts you have. And if you enjoyed reading this blog, please support it by subscribing to my FREE newsletter and receive your FREE thankyou gift!

 If you feel you would like further support through prayer, counselling or coaching, please contact me. Details of How to get in touch with me is found in the top menu on my home page.

 HEAD OVER TO YOUTUBE AND CATCH UP WITH MY VIDEOS – it is Free! 

I look forward to your visit to my next blog post!

Paula Rose Parish

How I started Journaling Mindfully and the struggles I encountered -Part two

This blog post is part two about How I started Journaling Mindfully and the struggles I encountered. I hope my story helped you, is so, let me know in the comments

In my past posts, I mentioned many benefits of Living Mindfully. Here are a few extra thoughts on the benefits of reflective Journaling.

· It enables you to become more focused on the life you are creating.

· You better remember and appreciate your experiences so you can share them with others.

· Can Enhance your creativity.

· Will give you Clarity of self and your goals in life.

· Help you to better understand and deal with problems rather than ignoring them or reacting badly to them.

By reflecting on your feelings and behaviour, you can learn who you are and where you fit into the world. You can build upon your strengths and strengthen your weaknesses. A consistent practice of reflection results in a greater understanding of who you are and how you interact with the world. Developing the habit of reflective Journaling will allow you to make more meaningful decisions that result in a more meaningful, fulfilling life.

Mindful Journaling is a practice that focuses your attention and awareness. It is about your self-awareness that emerges through paying attention on purpose to your thoughts while you are writing them down.

—SO, If you’re ready- let’s get started!

STEP ONE

·       Put aside some time. 

·       Grab something to drink. 

·       Choose your notebook. 

·       Find a nice pen. 

·       Settle in a quiet spot.

· Decide on what topic will you focus. Is it about Gratitude, experience from the past, or something else? 

  STEP TWO

· Be in the present moment; as you scribe each word, do not judge them. Just allow your thoughts and pen to flow as your experience unfolds moment by moment.

· Breathe! Avoid becoming anxious by breathing rhythmically and slowly. 

· If you become anxious or panicky – take 3 deep breaths in and out of your nose- then the 4th one in your nose and out your mouth (blowhard).

Finding it Difficult to get Started? TRY THIS….

· Reflect on a recent experience- don’t judge it as good or bad. Accept it as JUST IS. 

· Observe the experience realistically, reflect on the experience, then write it down.

· Get lost in thought, look within yourself – how do you feel deep down about the experience? -write it down.

 Ask Yourself…

· What feelings and emotions does the experience bring up? Write them down

· What can you learn about the experience-write it down?

· What lessons can you learn from the experience-write them down?

· Why did you make a particular decision?

· Was the experience a positive or a negative?

· What could you have done differently?

· What would you do the same?

· What did you think of your reactions during the experience?

· What did you think of your reactions after the experience was over and the emotions had subsided?

Well dear reader, I hope this helps you to get going on your reflective journaling journey.

As always -Thank you for visiting me here, I hope this post was helpful? Then please like, subscribe or  leave a comment with any questions you may have!

 If feel you would like further support, please contact me. Details of How to get in touch with me is found in the top menu on my home page.

There is so much more I an share with you because this is not the whole story but a snippet from my new book about Holistic Living, which features Mindfulness and issues around mental health. I am in the process of writing it. It will be published and made available to you later in the year – so keep a lookout for that! If you struggle to make self-care a priority or do not know how to start your mindfulness journey, check out my course, which will be available in the Summer of 2021- subscribe free to this blog to get updates! Regardless of where you are on your journey, I hope you hove found something useful here- if so, please let me know.

 HEAD OVER TO YOU TUBE AND CATCH UP WITH MY VIDEOS – its Free!

I look forward your visit to my next blog post!

Paula Rose Parish

How to Handle Being Misunderstood and the hurt incurred.

When you put yourself out there on the world wide web, there is an inescapable chance that misunderstanding and judgment will occur. Within relationships misunderstanding happens very easily, pulling families apart. The work place is a hot bed for misunderstandings to occur, its the job of management to resolve staff conflict.

Holistic living

In his blog, Ryan Frederick points out that when misunderstood, you must Find your identity & security only in Christ. The following is a quote from his blog to help you get started with this idea…….

……………” Christ understands you. He sees you from afar (Psalm 138:6), he designed and crafted you from within (Psalm 139:13-14), and he knows what it’s like to be human and to be tested (Hebrews 4:15). I hope this doesn’t roll off your back as a cliche. You are KNOWN. This is the first point because the rest will flow from this. If you know who you are in Christ, you can proceed with that knowledge and his perspective in mind. For example, maybe “being right” isn’t important at this moment. Maybe you just need to extend grace because your spouse hurting or not in a place to be corrected.” From <https://fiercemarriage.com/4-things-consider-next-time-feel-misunderstood

Although Ryan refers his idea to marriage, it is also relevant across the broad spectrum of relationships, and we can learn from this. As you know, I hold to the fact that holistic living is the way to bring wholeness to your everyday life. To make Christ the centre of your life feeds and frees your spirit. Your mind is calmed and brought hope and peace, then your body responds positivity. 

There have been times that I have shrunk away from God, sort of blaming him when in times of turmoil. Until a wake-up call thought entered my head! And it went something like this….

 ……….you are rejecting me when things go wrong. This shows you are laying the blame squarely on me- isn’t that what others have done to you? So, why play the blame game- it gets you nowhere and will estrange you from me….

 Well, I have to say that it certainly was woke me up! I realised I was feeling sorry for myself and had to snap out of it. 

So, What did I do next?

Forgiving (the holistic spirit)

 I knelt in prayer asking God in Christ to forgive me for withdrawing from his presence. I asked for forgiveness for any part that I played in the problem. I asked for wisdom (which I need tons of!) to work through the situation with grace and love and kindness. I asked the person for forgiveness and offered to talk it through, they refused to accept it and wanted to keep the drama playing. I was powerless to change that, so I prayed again- this time it was a blessing on those who misunderstood me, thus rejecting me. I asked God for the strength to let go and let God have his way.

I know I have written extensively about forgiveness in the past, but I think we all need a reminder to ensure that we do apply forgiveness. It’s far too easy to be so emotionally involved in our hurt feelings, that our hard heart will not reach out to forgive. Forgiveness applies to everybody. Forgive yourself. Forgive others.

Pay it no mind (the holistic mind)

In 1 Corinthians 13, the “love chapter,” we have a list of love’s attributes. Included in the description of love, however there are some things that love is not. Verse 5 says that ‘love keeps no record of wrongs.’ Or, as the Amplified Bible translates it, “It takes no account of the evil done to it, in other words – it pays no attention to a suffered wrong.”

The bottom line is that If you say you forgive, but keep the offence at the forefront, throwing back details into the person’s face, keeping the drama going– let’s get real here- You have not forgiven! True forgiveness pays no mind, it keeps no record of wrongs. 

Stop digging holes (the holistic body)

This is what I am guilty of and the situation is always made worse. I try to rescue the situation, and the more I try the deeper the darn hole gets! Soon I have dug so deep that I can’t see over the rim. I have buried myself in all the turmoil and hurt! look familiar?

 Well, I think if you are a rescuer or fixer, you can relate.

We must learn when it’s time to quit – then quit. This is the best thing to do or even the right thing. Surrender the situation to God. To leave the person who says you have offended them its best to leave them to their own emotions and choices. If  the other person is not happy with your explanation, it’s their problem not yours. You cannot satisfy someone who is adamant about having an argument. Do yourself a big favour and don’t engage in further discussion – stop digging!

It is time to stop digging and to cement that hole over and don’t go there again. It’s time, to take a breath of fresh air and start again. Accept when the situation cannot be rescued by you. If you wish to, leave the door open for the person who has misunderstood you. If they truly love you, they will want reconciliation as much as you.

Concentrate on those who truly care for you!

People get sacked from work due to misunderstandings and end up suing their employer for unfair dismissal. When misunderstandings cause family estrangement it is heart rendering indeed. Families who fall out forever is more common than you think. For many people, family is the centrepiece of their life. It’s where we gain a huge aspect of our identity, find comfort and support, unconditional acceptance, and a sense of belonging. Meghan Markle and Prince Harry have raised the issue of estrangement to a world wide level. On the internet their is a plethora of websites dedicated to helping parents of estranged from their children. One web site community group that I visited had over 40,000 membership! This shows how common this problem really is. For those who are estranged from their families, the family unit may become threatening as and not feel safe or nurturing. I have readers and followers from all over the world so I will outline some recent research from a few different countries.

Social worker and academic, Dr Kylie Agllias, has been researching family estrangements and how they impact us. Her research has revealed that about one in 25 Australian adults has been estranged from their family at some point in their lives. She says that family estrangements occur when there is a breakdown of trust, emotional intimacy and there are strong contrasting values. 

In the UK statics show that family estrangement has been defined as distancing and loss of affection that occurs over years or even decades within a family. It isn’t clear if such estrangement is on the rise since it is a relatively young field of research, but it is common. However, Research by Stand Alone, a UK charity that supports people who are estranged from relatives, suggests that estrangement affects at least one in five British families. Stand Alone founder Becca Bland, who has personal experience of estrangement as she has no contact with her parents, has also noticed that the topic is much more discussed than in the past. This is borne out by Google Trends data showing steady growth in people searching for estrangement-related terms, primarily in Canada, Australia and Singapore.

One United States of America study of more than 2,000 mother-child pairs found that 10% of mothers were currently estranged from at least one adult child. And one US study found that more than 40% of participants had experienced family estrangement at some point – suggesting that in certain groups, such as US college students, estrangement may be almost as common as divorce. Sound like an epidemic doesn’t it? 

I am sure the statics are similar across the world. It is a sad situation but one that is very real, and common. If you have been misunderstood and estranged from your family, be assured that you are not alone and there is a lot of help out there if you research and look for it. 

Those who truly love and care for you may not be your family. Friends are great because there is no history of offence with them. Unless you have grown up with them, you have a clean slate upon which to build a relationship. Appreciate them and keep in contact with those people. I have lots of lovely friends. I have found a unique relationship with each of my friends. With each one, we talk about different things and enjoy together various activities which are quite different from another. The friendship develops around the common ground which must be nurtured to grow.

Care for your Body

Being misunderstood causes your inner gut to twist and turn to make you feel sick. This is your body reacting to your emotional mind. You must care for your body. Don’t pummel it with alcohol or overload it with sugar, or late nights out. Nurture and care for your body with good food and passive exercise. Your body is the house your live in. In a time of turmoil, we forget about our bodily needs. 

When upset, I tend to stop eating and work from Dawn to Dusk. However, I am learning to do things differently. I look at my body like I look upon my two dogs. They are helpless without me. Whether I feel like it or not I must feed them, walk them, and stroke and groom them. I must provide a safe and enjoyable environment for them. Do the same for your body. 

Whether you feel like it or not, provide a safe and enjoyable environment for yourself. Feed your body well with natural foods, exercise it, groom it, care for it whether you feel like it or not – this is the only one you have! Your emotions can make you sick if you do not righty care for your body. I use many tools to help me with this and in posts to come, I will share them with you. 

 But in the meantime, you will find about how to care for your body mindfully, which is laid out in my new course and will be made available to you in summer 2021. If you want some ideas and tools to how to self-care, making it a priority or do not know how to start your holistic journey, check out the course, – subscribe free to this blog to get updates on this!

Thank you for visiting me here, I hope this post was helpful, I would love to hear from you. Feel free to contact me and share any thoughts you have. And if you enjoy reading this blog, please support it by subscribing or sharing, bookmarking and visiting the site.

 If feel you would like further support through counselling or coaching, please contact me. Details of How to get in touch with me is found in the top menu on my home page.

 HEAD OVER TO YOUTUBE AND CATCH UP WITH MY VIDEOS – it is Free! 

Virtual hugs, I look forward to your visit to my next blog post!

Paula Rose Parish

How I use Colouring for the healing of worries, loss, and past hurts.

In my past posts, I have outlined many aspects of holistic living, and one of them is mindfulness. Our minds are influential indeed, that will lead to our success or failure; so I feel, its important to become more familiar with the concept of mindfulness. In this post I want to share with you how I use colouring to help me through the overwhelm that each day can bring. This is not the whole story but a snippet from my new book about Holistic Living which features mindfulness. I am in process of writing it and will published and made available  to you later in the year – so keep a look out for that!

At first glance, mindfulness can look like just another hobby that people have caught on, much like meditation, yoga, or pottery. However, I have found that is not the case. When I initially came into holistic living, I promised myself that I would practice it daily. In my next post, I share with you how to make mindfulness a well-habit, but for now, in this post, I want to chat about How I use Colouring for healing of worries, loss, and past hurts. However, This is a short post and not the whole story but a snippet from my new book about Holistic Living that I am writing and will be published and available to you later in the year. 

As time goes by, I am learning to develop the mindful habit of Colouring and incorporate this mindfulness practice into my life. My friends and family thought I had discovered a new hobby to pass the time. However, I didn’t really know how to answer them and then, after a lot of research and reflection, I now know how to explain it, and it goes something like this …….. Mindfulness is not a hobby but something far more meaningful – It is a daily practice and a way of life.

 Having said that, hobbies do, however, come into play here. Although mindfulness is not a hobby in itself, hobbies can develop mindfulness in your life.

Mindfulness is the practice of observing yourself, others, and the environment without judgment. Mindfulness teaches us how to value our time by turning any moment into a present moment. The result of mindfulness practice is thinking objectively while being totally focused and present in the current moment. Your mind becomes relaxed and yet very aware. Your thoughts are focused and become more precise. Your body is relaxed as it receives calmness, peace and bliss state from your mind. 

Colouring for Healing 

There is a saying that depression is about the past and anxiety is about the future. If you ruminate about the past, constantly re-living hurts and regrets, you will become depressed and stressed! If your mind constantly goes to the land of “what if? or If only!” churning the things that could go wrong around in your head and probably will go wrong, you will become anxious, and sadness can overtake you. However, If you can stay in the moment, neither drifting to the past nor skipping to the future, I find that this moment, this second, minute or hour is tolerable and perhaps even enjoyable.

If you just stop for a moment and ponder, How am I feeling at this exact moment?  Is this exact moment stressfulCould I tolerate this moment another second? If The answer is NO, then the practice of mindfulness will help you. 

Now, if it were possible to think about this moment and only this moment, with no whirling thoughts of the past, no fears for the future, wouldn’t that be a relief? Of course it would, and that’s where the practice of Colouring for mindfulness comes into its own.

Get Lost

Colouring helps us to to get lost in time as we focus on the minute details of attending to our Colouring. There’s no time to dwell on the past or worry about the future. All you have to think about is this exact moment. You are choosing your colours and deciding where to place apply them. When you are in the mindful state- or bliss state, your try not to venture beyond the guidelines of the drawing to keep things neat and beautiful. As you colour, you see before your eyes something the wonder and beauty of what you are creating, and in anticipation, the finished result joyfully awaits you.

You might have noticed that many varieties of adult colouring books have made their way onto the market. These colouring books aim to look for mental stimulation, meditation, and mindfulness. My favourite types are the ones with intricate, pretty patterns, as I find they help me be the most mindful. I eventually laminate them and make a divider for my planner. I have also have made planner covers from my colouring projects. One day I will have a go at turning my colour creations into a picture that I can frame, and I may do this soon. Your creations do not have to sit inside the colouring book, gathering dust. They can be used for you to admire and others to appreciate for years to come. They may also give you a sense of calmness as you look at them because it reminds you of the calmness and joy of creating it. I have found that the very act of Creating brings healing to my mind. The fact that I have to keep refocusing my mind and changing colours makes it easier to keep my mind on the present moment and deter it from veering off elsewhere.

If Colouring seems like something you want to try, set aside time to sit down in a quiet place and do some colouring. Just commit to 10 mins at first, then increase it in each session. Soon you will find the time goes far too quickly, and you want to stay on the page. It really does bring the mind into full engagement with the activity. Because your mind becomes calm and relaxed, your body will also be, allowing you to unwind and de-stress.

To help get your started with Colouring for the healing of worries, loss, and past hurts. I am offering a FREE Book Mark for you to colour. Send me your email and I will send you Your Book Mark on PDF.

When your receive my email, simply Down load the PDF file then Just copy and paste and print our onto card. If you print it on regular paper when you have finished your colouring laminate it so its strong for use.

Thank you for visiting me here, I hope this post was helpful. Did you enjoy it? Then please like, subscribe or  leave a comment with any questions you may have! If feel you would like further support, please contact me.

Details of How to get in touch with me is found in the

top menu on my home page.

 HEAD OVER TO YOU TUBE AND CATCH UP WITH MY VIDEOS and I will see you in my next blog post!

Paula Rose Parish

How mindfulness Empowers You to accept lifestyle changes – 3 simple ways to self soothe.

How are you feeling about making plans as the COVID restrictions ease? For me, I’ve got excited about catching up in real life with the people who I love. Trying to maintain relationships online just isn’t the same and sometimes can be detrimental. But once I began to book a few things into my diary, I started to feel a cloud of depression creeping in on me. My mind whirled- now I have to make yet another lifestyle change. Now I have to learn anew how to manage a new lifestyle with actual physical people in it, not just faces on a screen or a disembodied voice on the telephone. Like me, you might be meeting these challenges with a looming overwhelming feeling , and no one would blame you, especially for us who live alone and have been living a shut-in lifestyle for over the past year. It took months for me to adapt to my new ‘shut in’ lifestyle. Contemplating months of aloneness and possible loneliness shook me to the core. I fought back with tears, anger then eventually docile acceptance. If you are interested in reading about my experience of how the practice of mindfulness empowers You to accept lifestyle changes – Keep Reading!

I finally adapted very well to my new lifestyle and found various ways to keep myself productively busy and happy. However, now the prospect of getting back to ‘normal’ causes butterflies in my stomach and overwhelms my happiness. I am nervous about facing yet another lifestyle change!

In this post, I want to share how I use mindfulness to help me through the overwhelm that a lifestyle change can bring. I share with you how I use colouring to help me through the overwhelm that each day can bring. This is not the whole story but a snippet from my new book about Holistic Living which features mindfulness. I am in process of writing it and will published and made available  to you later in the year – so keep a look out for that!

·       Self-soothing mindfully 

Lifestyle changes can cause a backlog of overwhelming tasks to face. We feel overwhelmed one, day carry it over to the next and then carry that over to the next day or week. Before long, we have a backlog and run into all kinds of complications. We aren’t robots; we need time and space to wind down; we need to be soothed regularly. Living alone has advantages and disadvantages. One of the disadvantages is that I have no one to soothe me after a horrible day so I can relax. I have no one to soothe my brow, massage my shoulders or feet. There is no voice of comfort or encouragement to help me through a difficult situation. With living alone, we must learn how to do all of the above ourselves. Here are a few ways that I have found to soothe myself.

Face massager: I have a small handheld face massager that I run all over my face. It soothes a headache in my temples and feels amazing comforting as I slowly run it over my face. It has the added benefit of strengthening facial muscles and decreasing fine lines.

Hot wheat bag: I have Reynard’s disease and feel the cold bitterly. I put a wheat bag in the microwave for 3mins. When I am tired and strung out, I simply put my warm wheat bag on my shoulders, feet or hands- anywhere I need it to soothe my weariness away. 

Cool gel bag: you may be someone who prefers the ‘cool’ approach rather than warm If this is the case, a cold gel bag is a tool for you to soothe your weariness away. 

I do many other things to self soothe, which I will share with you in another post.

·       Mediation- a mindful practice

Mediation works wonders during a lifestyle change! With change comes challenges that threaten to overwhelm us. Just taking 10 mins alone in meditation gives you a breather and can help you refocus on what is ahead of you. Mediation can help you sort your priorities and help you to see your situation more clearly. When your mind is rested and renewed, so is your focus and intention. 

·       Slow down and become mindful.

You are not a robot, so stop expecting yourself to run infinitely on an automatic pilot. Throughout our day, we encounter many changes, some of them we create, but at other times circumstance or other people create change for us. This all has a bearing on the ‘style’ of our day. I tend to set far too many daily goals. I use my computer for everything I do, and I expect things to run smoothly. But the truth is that my workload rarely runs without a hitch. There are many times more than I would lie when my computer is low. The broadband network might be overloaded, and the downloads or uploads take forever. This ties my computer up, and all I can do is patiently wait. There are times when my computer has crashed for no apparent reason. I use Dragon text to speech as it helps with my dyslexia, and to my frustration, it often refuses to open. Then I must take time out to make a call to customer service. All this puts a spanner in the works taking me away from my precious work schedule. By the end of the day, I go to bed feeling defeated, not having addressed most of my tasks which must be laid over till the next day. I looked hard and long at this recurring problem and decided to approach it prayerfully but also mindfully.

How did I approach this mindfully? I began each new task far slower than usual. I intensely focused on the task at hand and tried to resist the temptation to multitask. I did my best not to call to mind all the other tasks waiting for me, so I could concentrate on what was at hand. When my computer decided not to play ball, being in the mindful mode, I felt an inner calm and dealt with it in peace rather than panic. Being mindful helps me to roll with the wanted and unwanted changes in the course of my day. Slowing down and being ‘mindful’ of each task helps me to be one with that task achieving far more in less time.

Allowing myself to approach my lifestyle changes mindfully brings healing like no other and the courage and strength to help me today. The Lord tells us to be strong and of good courage. And it seems to me that God leaves it to us to discover how to be a solid and courageous person. I have found that Practicing mindfulness enables me to achieve what I want to and also ‘be’ the person that I aspire to.

Thank you for visiting me here, I hope this post was helpful. Please like, subscribe or like and feel free to leave a comment with any questions!

 If feel you would like further support, please contact me. Details of How to get in touch with me is found in the top menu on my home page.

 HEAD OVER TO YOU TUBE and catch up with my latest VIDEOS and I see you in my next blog post!

Paula Rose Parish

How to Grow, and Improve Self Awareness with Mindfulness and Meditation

Change of circumstance and then learning new ways of doing things is terrifying and leave me feeling vulnerable. Due to the pandemic, I had to move my work and my whole life online to survive. I don’t really want to do it as I am a face-to-face kind of girl. I avoided it for the longest time, but when push came to shove, I had to bite the bullet and learn new things about the online world, which up to them, was an enigma to me. Now nine months in the adventure, I still get the jitters from time to time because I am still not wholly comfortable. However, if I keep going consistently, I know I will begin to enjoy the process and grow as a person.

And you dear Reader, in what ways can you learn, grow, and improve? What choices can you make to push past your comfort zone, act, and strive towards your best self while practising self-care?

In this post I want to share with you how you can grow and improve self awareness. This is not the whole story but a snippet from my new book about Holistic Living which features mindfulness and issues around mental health. I am in process of writing it. It will be published and made available to you later in the year – so keep a look out for that!

To help me to work through the’ scariness’ of learning things new, I found that I care for myself through living holistically, which is basically listening to my body, asking for God’s wisdom, and doing things to serve my growth, wins hands down every time. 

Sometimes though, we must push ourselves to leave our comfort zone, take that new job position, travel someplace new, or speak in front of a crowd. Take opportunities for personal growth and development.

Why mindfulness & meditation?

One of the most important aspects of holistic living is being present in the ‘here and now. To be focused and aware in the moment is of utmost benefit to mind, body, and spirit. That’s something I struggle with, and I often find myself looking towards the future or allowing my mind to pick up unnecessarily signals instead of being present in the moment. Despite the struggles, learning the practice of mindfulness and Christian meditation have made such a huge difference in my life. In another post, I will outline ‘how’ I practise mediation in my daily life, so keep watching out for that.

Mindfulness helps to bring awareness to my body, my emotions, and my thoughts. It helps me feel grounded, connected to the universe, and calm. I know it can be intimidating and challenging to start a mindfulness practice, but I encourage you to try out some guided meditations to start out.

If you struggle to make self-care a priority, check out my courses which will be available in Summer of 2021.

 Where do you spend your energy?

Your time and energy are precious, and you shouldn’t waste it on things that don’t matter. Are you spending hours watching TV or scrolling on social media every day? Are you allowing minor inconveniences to ruin your entire day? Are you getting stressed out about things you can’t control? Be aware of where you place your energy and where and what you give your attention to. 

So, do what to do? To start with, do what feels most important to you, and focus on those things. The ‘feeling’ part of you is your spirit- your inner core being. Allow that to guide you as you begin to learn to care for yourself. 

Practising self-care by way of a holistic lifestyle might mean different things to different people. There is no one “right” way to live a holistic lifestyle, as long you are caring for your entire self; mind, body, and spirit (soul).

Try to be mindful of how the different parts of your life interact. Be intentional about your choices every day, having your well-being in the uppermost part of your thoughts.

I hope this short article has helped to get you started on the journey of a lifetime. It’s a journey on which your life may depend as you practice self-care.  

Thank you for visiting me here. Please like, subscribe and free to leave a comment with any questions!

 If feel you would like further support, please contact me. Details of How to get in touch with me is found in the top menu on my home page.

My Blog posts are for your encouragement.

 HEAD OVER TO YOU TUBE AND CATCH UP WITH MY VIDEOS and

I will see you in my next blog post!

Paula Rose Parish

How does Holistic Living improve mind, body and spiritual health?

In this post I want to share with you some of the benefits of holistic living . This is not the whole story but a snippet from my new book about Holistic Living which features mindfulness and issues around mental health. I am in process of writing it. It will be published and made available to you later in the year – so keep a look out for that!

Holistic living has many benefits. Some of which include –

· Increased mental clarity, Development and Coaching,

· Decreased stress, anxiety, and overwhelm.

· More self-awareness and alignment with the highest version of your best self

Who is it for?

Holistic living is those who want to improve their lifestyle by becoming their very best self. Whatever skills and habits weigh you down, living holistically can address any problems you have. Living the holistic way is for anyone of any age, ability, or life circumstances, looking to heal, enrich or empower their life with joy bringing peace and calm; holistic living will benefit you.  

How do you live a holistic lifestyle?

 The holistic lifestyle is not something you do but who you become. It is a lifestyle that encompasses the wellness of your mind, body, and spirit. 

It is living in the moment and making the moment work for you. To live genuinely holistically, one must become self-aware. 

Making it a goal to become self-aware is one of the most freeing things you can do. Often, we don’t’ begin to become aware of our bodies until we become sick. We tend to take an interest in how our body works and what foods and exercise might help us get well. But for some of us, it’s all too late. The illness has taken hold, and a long recovery is ahead or no recovery at all. Holistic living is about ‘prevention’ rather than cure. It’s getting a few steps ahead of the game and consistently making good lifestyle choices for your well-being of mind, body and spirit. 

What is Holistic Living? 

I take a holistic approach to my personal life and work. It’s about making changes by’ becoming’ rather than ‘doing’. When we ‘become’, the ‘doing’ results naturally. It’s about allowing your very being, which is comprised of Mind, Body and Spirit, to emerge and become better. Holistic living works toward wholeness and draws in the care and growth of your Mind, Body and Spirit. It enables you to establish balance in all areas to be a healthier, happier You, to live a more fulfilling life. 

Key Benefits to Holistic Living

Wellness in mental health, spirituality and a healthier body are the main benefits of holistic living; however, there are many more:

The main benefits will bring…

· Balanced emotional and physical well-being

· Better interpersonal relationships

· Reduced stress

· Improved productivity

· Relief of chronic ailments

· Enhanced environment understanding

· Your relationships, 

· Career and finance balance 

· Personal growth

· Spiritual development

These benefits are achieved by –

· Developing a new paradigm 

· Developing a realistic daily routine

· Establishing daily Well-Habits that nourishes your Mind, Body & Spirit.

Do you need Coaching to achieve this?

If you’re asking yourself, “do I need a life coach?” it’s likely that Coaching would benefit you. Here are a few more signs – 

maybe you;

· You want a change of lifestyle and not sure how to go about it.

· You want to live a more healthy, well- balanced life.

· You want encouragement to set goals and get those projects done.

· You want to establish your life purpose.

· You’re stuck in self-destructive habits that you want freedom from

· Your inner thoughts and self-talk are negative.

· You’ve recently made a significant life change or undergone a stressful event.

· You continually feel overwhelmed and need support.

· You suffer from fear of failure or something else that keeps you from reaching your goals (i.e.) one step forward- two steps back.

· Or You are an adult dyslexic and need support.

Recognize yourself in any of these? If you do, make the decision to contact me today and begin the journey to a happier, more confident and fulfilled self.

My purpose is to support women to develop compassion for themselves. I provide an integrative holistic, lived experience model. I enjoy empowering women to shift their current pattern to make way for the desired lifestyle. My focus is wellness in mind, body, and spirit. If these three are in sync, you will find your purpose and achieve your ideal lifestyle. To this end, I have created an integrative transformational intervention methodology to support you step by step.

You will…

· Gain clarity in your purpose and find meaning – Get clear and focused on the goals and objectives that will radically change your life in the next year.

· Achieve your goals – Feel more energy, more vitality and more accountability from a coach who pushes you. …

· Ignite passion in your profession and relationships – Remove beliefs that are sabotaging you from genuine connection and discover the key to fulfilment.

 Professionally trained with a Master of Arts in Counselling in Professional Development and Coaching, With over 40 years of experience, I will support you to maximize your full potential. You will identify your goals and receive balanced teaching, great tips, guidance, and encouragement throughout your journey to becoming a better version of yourself. Let’s Talk – Contact me and see what the next step is right for you! 

If you have found this article helpful, please visit my website- address below, and Like, Comment, Follow and Share.

 If feel you would like further support, please contact me. Details of How to get in touch with me is found in the top menu on my home page.

 HEAD OVER TO YOU TUBE AND CATCH UP WITH MY VIDEOS and I see you in my next blog post!

Paula Rose Parish