Three Steps to Self-love, and why it is important
- Forgive Yourself
Forgiveness means that you accept what has happened and your behavior and be willing to move past it and move on with your life without worrying about things that cannot be changed. As a therapist, I learned this approach to self-forgiveness, which is also the Biblical way of forgiveness. Jesus taught us to forgive others- however- we need to forgive ourselves as well! Matthew 6:14 14For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
The below method suggests that four key actions can help you to forgive yourself.
The 4 R’s of Self-Forgiveness
Forgiving yourself is beneficial for any good mental, physical, and relationship health.
Letting go and offering yourself forgiveness can help boost your feelings of wellness and improve your self-confidence. The act of forgiveness can also positively impact your physical health. Have you heard the expression “he’s eaten up with hate”? Science and the Bible tell us that unforgiveness can manifest itself negatively in our physical bodies. If we can’t forgive ourselves, then it will be impossible to forgive others impacting our relationships.
- Remind Yourself – No more People Pleasing.
Have you heard the expression keep your opinions to yourself? Well. That’s the philosophy I was brought up with, as were many of my generations. As a result, I became fearful of what others thought of me. To this end, I expressed no personal opinion of my own in case someone did not agree with me, and I would upset them. To avoid upset, I learned to keep my opinions to myself. Unfortunately, this led me to the weakness of people-pleasing. The problem with this approach is that one forgets what is important in their own life and tends to live ‘through’ other people’s experiences, which I sad.
I began to observe the same behaviors in others and saw what resulted from their lives down the track. Therefore, I decided that I would no longer be a people pleaser and that my opinion does matter. After a struggle of years, much sweat and tears, I finally rid myself of such behavior and began to value myself. In valuing myself, I was able to love myself.
- Do Things That Make you Happy.
Someone once said, ‘you were not born to live to just pay the bills then die’.
No, you are more highly valued than that!
If you are happy, you will be more productive, motivated, and fulfilled. So when the alarm sounds, you will bounce out of bed in the morning, ready to begin ad brand new day with its challenges. However, if you are unhappy, you’ll be more likely to pull the covers over your head when the alarm sounds because you just can’t face your day.
If you are happy within yourself, it will become self-evident. You’ll automatically spread positivity, love, and joy, and Others will notice and want to be around you. After all, who wants to cozy up to a grump?
So, think about what makes you happy and ensure you engage with those things regularly. Don’t get so busy that that provides no time to do the things you enjoy. Maintaining happiness takes effort because it is a state of mind, and then doing those things that make you happy will reinforce that attitude.
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Paula Rose Parish💕
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Paula Rose has a Bachelor of Pastoral Counselling and Theology, Vision Christian University, USA Master of Arts In Counselling & Professional Development, specializing in Spiritual Abuse The University of Derby, UK.
BACP Life Coaching Course, Bristol, UK and a life member of (ISFP) The International Society of Female Professionals.
Paula Rose Parish is a Pastor, Author, and founder, of Hope. Faith. Love. She studied at the University of Derby and received a Master of Arts in Counselling in Professional Development. Over the years Paula Rose has served as a pastor, chaplain, counsellor, coach, and led workshops and retreats, and spoken worldwide on Christian spirituality. Author of over 100 articles and two books, Paula Rose continues to write on the spiritual life. Paula Rose is adding a string to her bow and is presently reading Health and Wellness. She has four grown children, five grandchildren, and lives in South Wales, UK.
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