Marie had a lifelong ambition to a business owner. She quit her job as a teacher to realize her dream of owning a high street coffee shop. She wanted it to be special, selling different coffees from around the world, with a décor being with an international theme. Her investments in time, money an effort was high. The buzz of seeing this store open was one of her proudest and happiest moments of her life.
However, by the end of the first year, her sales were far below what she had a forecasted. Marie’s excitement was replaced with anxiety and concern. She was not making enough money to pay herself and was scraping through paying the bills. Marie was left wondering what to do.
I am sure you have been in Marie’s position at some time or another. You may have embarked on a project, business or relationship and it all went pear shaped. When business ventures, careers, relationships, or dreams don’t go as planned we are left devastated.
It is important to remember that how we view our situation will change the course of the outcome. When we look at these situations as failures, it distorts our reality. This twisted view can prevent us from seeing the truth of the situation. Without a clear focus, it can be impossible to solve the problem or move forward.
I have got Good News for You!
A setback doesn’t have to be the end of your dreams. Look at it this way, a setback might be exactly what you need to get where you want to be. A setback may be a blessing in disguise!!
I read a lot of Self-help books, blogs and listen to free audio books on YouTube about successful living. I have also experienced a lifetime of setbacks. These few points are what have learned about how successful people handle setbacks. I hope this is of help to you today.
1. Expect Setbacks.
If you let them, setbacks push you to try something improved. Setbacks will happen, so expect, accept, and prepare for them when they come.
2. Time Yourself
Allow yourself time to acknowledge your feelings of disappointment. It’s wise to put a time limit on how long you will focus on that feeling. I don’t allow myself any more than a couple of days to get my head straight. On the third day, I call it resurrection day. I might still feel disappointment, but I ensure that I don’t wallow but redirect that emotional energy toward progress. Ask yourself ‘now what?’ get excited and start brain pumping innovative ideas.
3. Manage Your Weakness
Know your reactions to disappointment. Be careful- failure may cause you to lose perspective, anticipate what will cause you to get upset and give up.
4. Be Objective
Accurately assess to the situation, determine what really occurred and what you need to do to remedy it. Objectively size up what happened. Was there an event or decision that created a problem?
Note down what worked and what didn’t. Write down what factors created the setback. Was there enough interest? Was there enough funding? Was there enough help? Seeing the facts on paper will solidify the facts.
5. Next Please
Successful people don’t navel gaze, and get over emotional, they always find a way around or through the problems. Successful people see failures as opportunities. Write down your options and assess each of them in the light of the requirements. Don’t feed ‘pity me.’
6. Be Mindful and Pray
A change in direction and making new decisions can be overwhelming or worse in fact – heart-breaking. Feeling overwhelmed leads to mind block, because doing nothing seems easier in the moment than making big decisions. The remedy is to Live in the Moment. Pragmatically, prayerfully ascertain, what can be done today, tomorrow, or next week to move forward.
7. Be a Learner
Someone once said to me’ if you never made a mistake, you’ve never made anything, turn your lemons into lemon aide.’ Wise words.
I research successful people and learn from them. Successful people who have integrity will also share their failures. Learning from the failings and setbacks of others is invaluable to your learning. Learn the lessons and move forward.
A lot of successful entrepreneurs when they first started, knew nothing about running a business or even their product they are selling. The difference is that they were willing to learn new things no matter how challenging they found it to be.
8. Positive Self-talk.
Setbacks may create self-doubt. You will never hear successful people say, ‘I can’t.’ You always hear them say ’I can and will.’ Manage your thought life. stay focused on what you can do next. Celebrate each time you move forward even a little.
Remember, a setback is a setup for a comeback.
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Virtual hugs, I look forward to your visit to my next blog post!
Paula Rose Parish
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