There is Nothing Good about Grief, particularly at Christmas time. When grief strikes at the heart, the effects send us reeling into bereavement. We are drawn into a vortex of loss, and it can feel like that we cannot escape. This experience is familiar to us all, vortex of loss, and we get hurt. Sometimes our grief is left unresolved. What can you do when When grief strikes at the heart What happens when you find yourself in one of the darkest periods of your life which can feel like the valley of the shadow of death? During COVID-19 pandemic we have suffered loss, changing our lives forever. How can you cope when your whole life is turned upside down and all that is familiar and held dear is There is Hope-?
I have written a book for the Bereaved called- Nothing Good about Grief . If you are a person of faith, or no faith, or somewhere in between, this book is a little ray of light and hope. Perhaps you are supporting someone whom you know is grieved, or just want to research the topic, then this book is for you. Like everyone else on the planet, I have experienced the dark valley of mourning.
Change is all about us these days, and our reality is vastly different from a few months ago. Suddenly we all have become very vulnerable. The world is experiencing an unprecedented catastrophe. Collectively, we weep and grieve. The worldwide pandemic of the Coronavirus (COVID-19) is still a reality for us all. This unforeseen disaster has swiftly taken the lives of loved ones, leaving the grieving disillusioned and struggling to make sense of it all. During the government-imposed lockdown, people lost livelihoods, assets, and social freedoms. The economy, families and marriages were all under great strain. People living together every day and night, with no respite, has caused domestic abuse to rise sharply across the world. Families lived in fear of loved ones who were meant to care and protect them. Basic daily needs became increasingly challenging to meet, and many others became homeless. We stayed home to stay safe, while daily routines and lifestyles were turned upside down. Restricted freedom of movement caused much psychological strain, and people felt hemmed in. Sadly, for some, suicide was the only way out. The losses have been incalculable, unbearable, and extraordinary. Every human being on the planet shared a sense of unspeakable loss, collective grief, and we are left bereaved. Nothing will be the same again. What will the future look like? The good news is that all is not lost.
There is Hope– Within the beautiful images of the 23rd Psalm, we will find the way forward and by applying its truth’s we have a sure and certain hope for a happy future. Through all the grief and pain, the Shepherd is walking with you, leading you on the right path to recovery. Grief is a natural reaction to loss. Bereavement is the process we go through when we grieve. Being a member of humanity means we walk through dark valleys throughout our lives. As described in Psalm 23, some of those valleys may feel like we are passing through death itself, dramatically changing our reality forever.
We try to express to others how we are feeling. Careworn, we fail to find the words that accurately describe our pain. No one can take away our grief. We feel alone. The devastation of our anguish is not apparent but is visible to the heart. Finding a pathway through can be complicated. There is certainly Nothing Good about Grief! My book will help you to understand and articulate what you are experiencing, and to come to terms with what is happening. The thoughts and ideas I present are the results of forty years of my personal and professional experience and theological understanding. When we are grieving a weighty book is challenging to cope with; therefore, I have written it as an easy read.
Part One is the preamble to later sections. Do not skip through this because this will prepare you for your journey.Part Two is devoted to defining grief and bereavement, understanding what the symptoms of three phases of grief are, and why we feel as we do.Part Three supplies a three-phased guide of recovery and discovering pathways into the new light of day. Part Four provides simple ways to recovery through reflections and guidelines. Part Five will help you make the adjustments you need and assist you on your journey, keeping you on the path to maintain your recovery.
From a therapeutic point of view, to help with grief recovery, I offer a Phased Approach because no one grieves in the same way as you do. Your bereavement is particular to how you feel and react to your grief. I see the term Phase as a statement of hope. The symptoms of grief outlined here in this book are well documented. However, the difference is that I have developed the phased approach because it is flexible, while using Psalm 23 as a guide. A phase is a period in your life, it is fleeting, it does not last. The symptoms of your grief I have outlined are Shock, Suffering and Anger/resentment. As you move through these into recovery, these symptoms will not last. You will eventually fully recover to enjoy life again. A phase denotes qualities that refer to time, a stage and flexibility, softness, and gracefulness. It is not fixed or rigid and can be adapted to each need. On the other hand, the process or step method is the opposite of that of the phased approach. It does not allow for individuality, fundamentally inflexible with a specified way of doing things for everyone. I see the three phases as a prescription of care, in the sense of a remedy and will bring you through to recovery. And like any prescription, the right dose is required for recovery. If you take more than is prescribed, the effects will be damaging. If you do not take enough, the remedy will be ineffectual. If you take someone else’s dose, there will be a problem. For each person, the dosage is different depending on a whole host of factors. That is why each prescription has only your name on it. The three phases are the same, they have your name on it. Utilizing the phased approach, instead, of following steps, or a process method is more realistic, so you can move at your own pace and just far more darn right kinder!
For over 40 years, and over several countries, I have worked as a church leader and professional counsellor. I have had the privilege of helping hundreds of hurting people through the dark valley of grief, into recovery. Nothing Good About Grief is available on Amazon, on this web site you will find a links to the UK Amazon. I have many followers from around the world so, if you are from another country, just Put the book title and my name- Paula Rose Parish- in the Amazon browser and you’ll be sure to find it. If you cant. Contact me and I can make arrangements to get a book sent you.
If you need Counselling, I am available for Telephone or Online Therapy.
We will journey together while learning that you have a Shepherd who leads you on. Your Shepherd who understands, and weeps for your pain, is calling you into His love and mercy.
Paula Rose- Parish